Transcript PowerPoint

Painting Pictures with Words:
“Dress-up your Writing”
By C. Wardman – Adapted from
Kathleen B. Scales
Ozarks Writing Project
A Comparison
Which one would you rather create?
A Comparison
The amateur writes: “Bill was nervous.”
The pro writes: “Bill sat in a dentist’s waiting
room, peeling the skin at the edge of his
thumb, until the raw red flesh began to
show. Biting the torn cuticle, he ripped it
away, and sucked at the warm sweetness
of his own blood.”
(Robert Newton Peck as quoted in Noden, 1998, “Image Grammar,” p. 157)
Research
“I discovered I could stop using labels without
stopping grammar. Students created images
with their sentences, and they didn’t even know
they were …writing complex sentences…these
playful forays into label-less grammar ended up
in students’ essays, enriching them with
concrete details and craft—a grammar
instruction that actually improved writing”
(Anderson, 2006, p. 29).
Dress-ups – 6 in all
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
Who/Which Clause
Strong Verb (4)
Adverb (2)
Because Clause
Awesome Adjectives
6) When, where, while, since, as, if, although clauses
Now lets look at “The car went into the lot”
and dress this sentence up! You do
yours with me on your worksheet.
Dressup #1 – Who/Which
• Adds information about a person or thing
Example:
The car went into the lot.
Becomes
The car, which was a 1957 Edsel, went into the lot.
Dressup #2 – Strong Verb
• Creates a heightened, more accurate sense of
action and purpose
Example:
• The car, which was a 1957 Edsel, went into the lot.
Becomes
• Skidding, the car, which was a 1957 Edsel,
screeched into the lot.
Dressup #3 – Adverbs
• Spices up an action
Example:
• Skidding, the car, which was a 1957 Edsel, screeched into
the lot.
Becomes
• Skidding wildly, the car, which was a 1957 Edsel,
screeched violently into the lot.
Dressup #4 – Because Clause
• Gives cause and effect
Example:
• Skidding wildly, the car, which was a 1957 Edsel,
screeched violently into the lot.
Becomes
• Skidding wildly because of the gravel on the road,
the car, which was a 1957 Edsel, screeched
violently into the lot.
Dressup #5 – Adjectives
• Creates distinct and unique pictures of nouns
Example:
• Skidding wildly because of the gravel on the road, the car,
which was a 1957 Edsel, screeched violently into the lot.
Becomes
• Skidding wildly because of the loose gravel on the
rutted, dirt road, the car, which was a 1957 Edsel,
screeched violently into the parking lot.
Dressup #6 – Clauses
• Adds dimension
Example:
• Skidding wildly because of the loose gravel on the rutted,
dirt road, the car, which was a 1957 Edsel, screeched
violently into the parking lot.
Becomes
• Skidding wildly because of the loose gravel on the
rutted, dirt road, the car, which was a 1957 Edsel,
screeched violently into the parking lot as a
tumbleweed slowly moseyed along, hardly
noticing the excitement.
“Gessi the Great”
Copyedit Activity
The famous escape artist was hanging
upside down above a parking lot in a
straight jacket as he suspended from a
crane. His name was “Gessi the Great.”
He twisted and twirled in the wind as a
large crowd of about 50 watched silently.
Finally, Gessi wiggled out of the jacket and
tossed it aside. He was lowered to the
ground by the crane operator and greeted
by cheers.
Rainy Summer Sky
Rolling, draping, folding
Clouds hang like icing
borders on a cake glazed
smooth with gray
Edges congealing, a
summer front, moist and
cool, slides over my street.
Dripping, sighing, sagging
Air, heavy and suspended,
rain settles in for the day.
Dress-Up Practice
• You will have a variety of pictures to look at and you are
to select one to describe in detail. This is a free write so
we are really just trying to play with the words. Structure
is important, using effective dress-ups is more important.
The most effective image writing will:
• Use each dress-up at least once. May be used more
than once or in combinations
• Demonstrate that the writer is able to “zoom in” and
capture some significant detail or details of the photo
• Shows the reader instead of tells the reader
Zooming In
Ask: How does it feel? What does it look like? How
does it sound? How does it taste? How does it smell?
Observation
Impression
Application
Cat, branch,
dangle,
A cat in trouble,
struggling, feet
kicking
Claws digging, feet kicking, the cat
clung to the branch.
Paint with Adjectives and Verbs
Paint with clauses, adjectives and verbs
The sun rose over the lake.
Practice Zooming In
http://www.solarnavigator.net/sport/surfing.htm
SIGHT
SOUND
SMELL
Imagery
TOUCH
TASTE