Transcript Sentence Variety - Warren County Schools

Sentence Variety
Mixing Long and Short Sentences
Use a Question, Command,
or Exclamation
Vary the Beginnings of Sentences
Good Writers
Good writers pay attention to sentence variety.
They notice how sentences work together
within a paragraph and they seek a mix of
different sentence lengths and types.
Experienced writers have a variety of
sentence patterns from which to choose.
They try not to overuse one pattern.
Mixing Long and Short Sentences
Beginning writers tend to overuse short, simple sentences. Notice the
length of the sentences in the following paragraph:
(1) There is one positive result of the rising crime rate. (2)
This has been the growth of neighborhood crime prevention
programs. (3) These programs really work. (4) They teach
citizens to patrol their neighborhood. (5) They teach citizens
to work with the police. (6) They have dramatically reduced
crime in cities and towns across the country. (7) The idea is
catching on.
How might it be revised?
Now read the revised version. It is not as simplistic and
childish due to a variety of sentence lengths:
(1) One positive result of the rising crime rate has been the growth of
neighborhood crime prevention programs. (2) By teaching citizens to
patrol their neighborhoods and to work with the police, they have
drastically reduced crime in cities and towns across the country. (3)
The idea is catching on.
This paragraph is more effective because it mixes up two short
sentences, 2 & 4, and two longer sentences, 1 & 3. Although short
sentences can be used effectively anywhere in a paragraph, they can
be especially effective and useful as introductions or conclusions,
such as sentence 4 above. Note the powerful effect of the short
sentences between the longer ones in the following paragraph.
Now, lets look at a good
example . . .
(1) I recall being told, when I first moved to Los
Angeles and was living on an isolated beach, that
the Indians would throw themselves into the sea
when the bad wind blew. (2) I could see why. (3)
The Pacific turned ominously glossy during a Santa
Ana period, and one woke in the night troubled not
only by the peacocks screaming in the olive trees
but by the eerie absence of the moon. (4) The heat
was surreal. (5) The sky had a yellow cast, the kind
of light sometimes called earthquake weather. (6)
My only neighbor would not come out of her house
for days, there were no lights at night, and her
husband roamed the place with a machete. (7) One
day he would tell me that he had heard a by-passer;
the next a rattlesnake.
Joan Didion, Slouching Towards Bethlehem
Practice with a Partner
Revise and rewrite the following paragraph in a variety of sentence
lengths. Recombine sentences in any way you wish, but do not alter
the meaning of the paragraph.
(1) The park is alive with motion today. (2) Joggers
pound up and down the boardwalk. (3) Old folks
watch them from the benches. (4) Sailors row boats
across the lake. (5) The boats are green and
wooden. (6) Two teenagers hurl a Frizbee back and
forth. (7) They yell and leap. (8) A shaggy white
dog dashes in from nowhere. (9) He snatches the
red disc in his mouth. (10) He bounds away. (11)
The teenagers run after him.
Using a Question, Command, or
Exclamation!
The most commonly used sentence is the declarative sentence or
statement. However, and occasionally carefully placed question,
command, or exclamation is an effective way to achieve sentence
variety.
Using the QUESTION:
Why did I become a cab driver? First, I truly enjoy driving a car
and exploring different parts of the city, the classy avenues,
and the hidden back streets. In addition, I like meeting all kinds
of people, from bookmakers to governors, each with his unique
story and many willing to talk to the back of my head. Of
course, the pay is not bad and the hours are flexible, but it is
the places and the people that I love.
The previous paragraph began with a question.
The writer does not really expect the reader to
answer it. Rather, it is a rhetorical question,
one that will be answered by the writer in the
course of the paragraph. A rhetorical question
used as a topic sentence can provide a colorful
change from the usual declarative sentences.
Is America really the best-fed nation in the
world?
What is courage?
Why do more people take drugs today than
ever before?
Think of an intriguing opening sentence for a
paragraph and share it with the class.
The Command and the
Exclamation!
(1) Try to imagine using failure as a description of an animal
behavior. (2) Consider a dog barking for fifteen minutes and
someone saying, “He really isn’t very good at barking. I give him a
“C”.” (3) How absurd! (4) It is impossible for an animal to fail
because there is no provision for evaluating natural behavior. (5)
Spiders construct webs, not successful or unsuccessful webs. (6)
Cats hunt mice; if they are not successful in one attempt they simply
go after another. (7) They don’t sit there whining and complaining
about the one that got away and have a nervous breakdown
because they failed. (8) Natural behavior simply is. (9) Now . . .
Apply the same logic to your own behavior and rid yourself of the
fear of failure.
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Your Erroneous Zones
The paragraph begins and ends with commands. Sentences 1, 2, and 9 address the
reader directly and have the implied subject you. Sentences 3 and 8 are
exclamations. Be careful with commands, exclamations, and questions. Try them
out, but use them, especially the exclamation, sparingly.
Now, it’s your turn . . .
Write a paragraph that begins with a rhetorical question. Choose
one of the questions below or compose your own. Be sure that
the body of the paragraph really does answer the question.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
How has high school changed me?
Is marriage worth the risk?
Why do I love watching (fill in the blank) on TV?
Is anything safe to eat these days?
Why do I cheat (or refuse to cheat) at my job (or at school)?
Vary the Beginnings of Sentences
Begin with an Adverb
Since the first word of many sentences is the subject, one way
to achieve sentence variety is by occasionally starting a
sentence with a word or words other than the subject.
1 – He laboriously dragged the large crate up the stairs.
2 – Laboriously, he dragged the large crate up the stairs.
1 – The contents of the beaker suddenly began to foam.
2 – Suddenly, the contents of the beaker began to foam.
A comma usually follows an adverb that introduces a sentence,
however, adverbs of time such as often, now, always, do not
require a comma.
Strong verbs
It would be misleading to state that style or voice is nothing
more than the use of strong verbs.
Style is ultimately the reflection in language of your total
personality, but the conscious search for vigorous, forceful
verbs can be a major step in learning to control language so
that it speaks to you and through you.
The verb may be the key element in making your writing sound
fresh as well as energetic and exact.
Selection of the strong verb almost automatically helps you
find your own voice.
The sun _____ on the grass and warmed it, and in the
shade under the grass the insects _____ . . . . And over the
grass at the roadside a land turtle _____, _____ his highdomed shell over the grass. His hard legs and yellownailed feet _____ slowly through the grass, not really
walking but _____ and _____ his shell along. The barley
beards _____ off his shell, and the clover burrs _____ and
fell to the ground. His horned beak _____ partly open, and
his fierce, humorous eyes, under brows like fingernails,
_____ straight ahead. He _____ over the grass leaving a
beaten trail behind him and the hill, which was the highway
embankment, _____ up ahead of him. For a moment he
stopped, his head held high. He _____ and _____ up and
down. At last he started to climb the embankment. Front
clawed feet _____ forward but did not touch. The hind feet
_____ his shell along, and it _____ on the grass, and on the
gravel. As the embankment _____ steeper and steeper the
more frantic were the efforts of the land turtle. Pushing
hind legs _____ and _____ boosting the shell along, and
the horney head _____ as far as the neck could stretch.
You do the work
Write a paragraph that:
1. Uses a variety of sentence lengths.
2. Makes use of a Command, an
Exclamation, and a Question
3. Has at least one sentence that begins
with an Adverb.
4. Use as many strong
verbs as possible.