Transcript Hints for better writing

Hints for better writing
How not to drown in my English
class!!!!
Reduction
Whenever possible, eliminate unnecessary words by
reducing clauses to phrases and phrases to single
words
• Clause: Because he was discouraged about writing stories,
Eric decided to try nonfiction.
• Phrase: Discouraged about writing stories, Eric decided to
try non-fiction.
• Clause: The man who is holding the pistol is the starter.
• Phrase: The man with the pistol is the starter.
• Phrase: The fans booed the decision of the umpire.
• Word: The fans booed the umpire’s decision.
Avoid needless separation of
related parts of a sentence
• Subject and Predicate should not be
separated unnecessarily:
– Wrong: I, hoping very much to see him,
hurried.
– Right: Hoping very much to see him, I hurried.
• Adverbs should be placed near the word
they modify. Particular care should be given to the
position on the following adverbs: almost, only, scarcely,
namely, hardly, even
– Wrong: We only worked two hours.
– Right: We worked only two hours.
• Phrases should be near the words they
modify
– Wrong: Notify us if you can come on the enclosed
card.
– Right: Notify us on the enclosed card if you can come.
– Wrong: The little girl stood beside the horse in a blue
dress.
– Right: The little girl in a blue dress stood beside the
horse.
• Clauses should be near the words they
modify
– Wrong: She put a hat on her head a hat which
she had just bought.
– Right: She put on her head a hat which she had
just bought.
– Wrong: He bought a car from his friend that
had a defective motor.
– Right: He bought from his friend a car that had
a defective motor.
• Avoid “squinting” modifiers
– Squinting: He said today he would go.
– Clear: He said he would go today.
– Clear: Today he said he would go.
• Avoid awkward splitting of infinitives
– Wrong: I asked her to occasionally visit me.
– Right: I asked her to visit me occasionally.
Avoid dangling modifiers
A modifier is said to dangle when there is no word in
the sentence that it can sensibly modify. The error
can be corrected
(1) by adding a word that the modifier can modify
or
(2) by expanding the modifier into a subordinate
clause.
Dangling Participle
• Wrong: Flying over the Alps, the views
were spectacular
• Right: Flying over the Alps, we saw
spectacular views.
• Right: When we flew over the Alps, the
views were spectacular.
Dangling Gerund Phrase:
• Wrong: After walking for hours, the cabin
was found by the hikers.
• Right: After walking for hours, the hikers
found the cabin.
Dangling Infinitive
• Wrong: To be well cooked, you must boil
beets a half hour.
• Right: To be well cooked, beets must be
boiled a half hour.
Dangling Elliptical Clause
• Wrong: When a little girl, my uncle took
me to a circus.
• Right: When a little girl, I was taken by my
uncle to a circus.
Use Parallel structure to express
ideas of equal importance
• Wrong: She is slender, with blue eyes, and
has a friendly manner.
• Right: She is slender, blue-eyed, and
friendly.
• Wrong: He likes hiking and to fish.
• Right: He likes hiking and fishing.
• Right: He likes to hike and to fish.
In comparison or degree, avoid
omitting necessary words
• Wrong: I was so tired.
• Right: I was so tired that I fell asleep.
• Wrong: Salaries of supervisors are higher
than workmen.
• Right: Salaries of supervisors are higher
than those of workmen.
Avoid needless shift in person or
number
• Shift in Person
– Wrong: When you are healthy, one should be thankful.
(a shift from second to third person)
– Right: When you are healthy, you should be thankful.
– Right: When one is healthy, he should be thankful.
• Shift in Number
– Wrong: If a person works hard, they will succeed. (a
shift from singular to plural number)
– Right: If a person works hard, he will succeed.
– Right: If people work hard, they will succeed.
Avoid needless shift in tense or
mood of verb
• Shift in tense
– Wrong: She sat down by the fire and begins to knit.
(Verb shifts from past tense to present tense)
– Right: She sat down by the fire and began to knit
• Shift in mood
– Wrong: Finish your work, and then you should rest.
(Verb shifts from imperative mood to indicative mood)
– Right: Finish your work and then rest.
– Right: You should finish your work, and then you
should rest.
Avoid the double negative
The words hardly and scarcely are negative in
meaning; they should not be used with not
• Wrong: I can’t scarcely hear him.
• Right: I can scarcely hear him.
• Right: I can’t hear him.
Avoid superfluous “that”
• Wrong: We know that, although we won,
that we won’t get the prize.
• Right: We know that, although we won, we
won’t get the prize.
Avoid Overly Ornate Phraseology
Although a rich vocabulary is to be desired, the
writer should avoid an excessive use of elaborate
modifiers and high-flown synonyms merely to give
the effect of grandiose diction. Lofty ideas may be
expressed in simple and dignified language. By all
means, one should try to increase his vocabulary, but
words should be used with accuracy and with intent
to convey meaning, not merely to impress the reader.
Otherwise, the writer may appear to be guilty of
affectation, and his ideas may even be obscured by
his failure to state precisely and accurately what he
has to say.
Specific is the key word to
remember.
You can use specific details and
action verbs in writing to depict the
same picture a filmmaker shows.
Look at the difference between
these pictures:
• Average: He liked to read the Bible.
• More descriptive: A worn Bible lay open
on his bedside.
• Average: She looked like a rich woman.
• More descriptive: A diamond twinkled on
her left hand, a ruby glowed on her right,
and her clothes had the cut that said money.
Use active voice instead of
passive voice
• Passive voice: The dinner was eaten.
• Active voice: John ate dinner.
• Passive voice: The speech was given.
• Active voice: Harvey delivered the speech.
Use more active verbs
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Tease
Humiliate
Forgive
Destroy
Encourage
Denounce
Chide
Interrogate
Pamper
transport
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Enhance
Discredit
Mock
Intimidate
Nullify
Hearten
Snub
Neutralize
Evoke
Ensnare
Also, change your sentence
patterns
Don’t always begin the sentence
with a subject
The sea is a whole world unto itself.
Begin with a prepositional phrase
In the past, the treasures of the sea
were thought to be limitless.
Begin with an adverb
Slowly the sea reveals its secrets to
us.
Begin with a gerund
Swimming in the Mediterranean is
like bathing in a large turquoise tub.
Begin with an infinitive phrase
To protect our future on this earth we
must protect ocean life as well.
Begin with a present participle
phrase
Skimming the choppy surface,
pelicans search hungrily for their
evening meal.
Begin with a past participle
phrase
Satisfied with the day’s catch, the
sun-parched fisherman turned his
boat toward shore.
Begin with an adverbial clause
Whenever man sails away from his
homeland, he is inevitably caught by
the romance of the sea.
Use an appositive
The Pacific, the largest body of water
on the planet, touches the shores of
six continents.
Ask a question
Who wouldn’t want to sail off to a
tropical island?
Use an exclamation
Beware the fury of an Atlantic storm!
Use conversation
The captain warned, “All those with
queasy stomachs should stay by the
rail.”