Transcript Creative Writing Advice from Kemp

CREATIVE WRITING:
ADVICE FROM
BUZAMBIE
ADJECTIVES ARE STUPID
Good writers use adjectives sparingly. Book reviewers distaste writing
that is littered with unnecessary description.
Ex: Twilight
Adjectives are like make-up: the right amount can complement your
natural features; too much and you look fake, deceitful, and cheap.
“When you catch an adjective, kill it.” -Mark Twain
“The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.” -Clifton Fadiman
“Avoid the use of adjectives, especially such extravagant ones as splendid,
gorgeous, grand, magnificent, etc.” - Hemmingway
ADJECTIVES
Are supposed to make a precise point.
BE CAREFUL! They steal power from the noun.
Adding precision sometimes means limiting
meaning, rather than adding to it.
DESCRIPTIVIZE THIS
SENTENCE
I had a party last night.
MEH…BETTER
I had a rocking party last night.
I had a party that shook the entire house.
OKAY…I CAN SEE IT.
I had a party last night. The house
rocked like a dryer filled with shoes.
U S E A N A D J E C T I VA L PA R T I C I P I A L
PHRASE
Sitting in her living room, propping her feet on
the radiator, and balancing a notepad on her lap,
Mrs. Newcombe wrote stories.
Sitting on the old couch, balancing a teacup on
my finger, I realized I was dreadfully bored.
COMPOUND ADJECTIVES ARE NICE
It was a delicious burrito.
It had one of those bigger-than-my face tortilla.
It was a real tortilla—textured and dotted with
stove-top burns; not one of those plasticy-made-by
white-people tortillas.
B E WA R E O F S TAG E - F I V E
CLINGING PREPOSITIONS
Sitting on the old couch, balancing a teacup on
my finger, I realized I was dreadfully bored.
Sitting with my feet up on the old couch,
balancing a teacup on top of my finger, I realized I
was dreadfully bored.
USE AN IRONIC ADJECTIVE
(A Kurt Vonnegut specialty.)
Sitting on the old couch, balancing a teacup on
my finger, I realized I was artistically bored.
IRONIC ADJECTIVES
It was a long pause.
It was an awkward pause.
It was a pregnant pause.
PREPOSITIONAL SIMILE
“like” is the keyword in a comparison. Don’t
assume the comparison is a byproduct of the word
itself.
Ex: Rain is like water that falls from the sky.
Uh? Yep. That’s exactly what it is.
PREPOSITIONAL SIMILES
The rain was like a mother’s voice whispering,
“wake up”.
The winds of March are like the rustle of covers
drawn from a slumbering planet.
CATALYST VERBS
Verbs paint the image of the action; adjectives
create the image of the object—in place.
If you want your piece to m o v e,
strong verbs.
pick
LAME
My heart thumped.
TRY A VERBAL METAPHOR
My heart galloped in my chest.
The letter ignited my fear.
The car staggered into the driveway, bled
fluid, and gasped it’s last breath.
E L I M I N AT E I N E F F E C T I V E A DV E R B S
An adverb should show
the degree of your action.
LAME!
My heart was beating
so fast.
STILL LAME!
My heart was beating sooooooo fast.
STILLLLLLLL LAME!
My heart was beating
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
fast.
What, are you talking into
a fan?
You’re dumb. Use a real
adverb.
My heart beat angrily.
AVOID REDUNDANT ADVERBS
dashed quickly
plodded heavily
growled angrily
WILLIAM SAFIRE’S FUMBLE
RULES
Avoid run-on sentences that are hard to read.
No sentence fragments.
It behooves us to avoid archaisms.
Also, avoid, awkward or affected alliteration.
WILLIAM SAFIRE’S FUMBLE
RULES
Don’t use no double negatives.
I’ve told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole!
Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
WILLIAM SAFIRE’S FUMBLE
RULES
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
KILL all exclamation points!!!!!
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will
do.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
WILLIAM SAFIRE’S FUMBLE
RULES
Take the bull by the long hand and don’t mix
metaphors.
Don’t verb nouns.
Never, ever use repetitious redundancies.
Avoid clichés like the plague.
“Writing should feel like a hot turd
coming out.”
-Charles Bukowski
LEARN FROM GOOD MUSIC:
Specific and unique nouns