Transcript In KU 121, we will focus on one writing project for the term—a

KU121
Unit 5
Starting to DraftThe Introduction
Lona Whittington, M.A.
Teresa Kelly
Sheron Brown
In KU 121, we will focus on
one writing project for the term—
a professional autobiography.
Project Description:
You need to keep the final project in mind while
you work on the details.
Go about 10 years in the future. Imagine that you
have completed your program at Kaplan University
and have been offered your dream job! The
company or organization you will be working for
wants to issue a press release announcing that
you are joining them and in what capacity. In order
to do so, they need a minimum 500 Word
autobiographical statement from you. Your
autobiography should include:
One paragraph that identifies
who you are,
where you live,
the company or organization
that has hired you,
and your new job title.
I. INTRODUCTION
One paragraph that gives professional details about
you and your life—your age, family, hobbies, etc.
(NOTE: this is a professional biography so you need
to limit personal details to what is appropriate).
II. BODY PARAGRAPH ONE
1
One paragraph that talks about your education. You
should include high school or your GED, any
previous college experience, and your Kaplan
program.
III. BODY PARAGRAPH TWO
2
One paragraph that details professional
experiences, honors and awards, or other
related details.
IV. BODY PARAGRAPH THREE
3
One concluding paragraph that reinforces
where you will be working, your job title, and
what you will be doing.
V. CONCLUSION (SUMMARY OF THE
Now don’t forget
PAPER.)
what I said.
Because your autobiography will appear in the
company newsletter and in local newspapers, it
should be written in third person (no “I” or “you”),
include concrete nouns, descriptive adjectives,
active verbs, effective transitions between
paragraphs, and be relatively error free.
We will go over each of these ideas in the weeks
to come.
Make your writing delicious with
lots of tasty details!
OUTRAGEOUS!! GRIPPING!!
WILD!!!
• Sensationalism
• We Love it!!
• Read the Headlines
STOP THE PRESSES . . .
World »
• Gaza Children Found With Mothers’ Corpses
• Israel Condemns Vatican’s ‘Concentration Camp’ Remarks
• Gaza War Role Is Political Lift for Ex-Premier
U.S. »
• Oakland Turns Violent Over Shooting
• News Analysis: A Crisis Trumps Constraint
• Labor Calls for Unity After Years of Division
Politics »
• Panel Urges Easing of Rules on High-Tech Exports
• Obama Is Reported Set to Revise Counterterrorism Efforts
• Senate Democrats Open Way to Seat Burris
 Which article would you want to read first?
NOW SHOWING …..
Which major movie did you
see based on trailers?
One paragraph that identifies who you are, where you live,
the company or organization that has hired you, and your
new job title. INTRODUCTION
This is what we are covering in Unit 5.
The Introductory Paragraph.
It needs to identify:
1. who you are,
2. where you live,
3. the company or organization that has hired you and
4. your new job title.
What is an introductory paragraph?
• Introductory paragraph--The first
paragraph of an essay. It starts with broad,
general ideas and then works toward more
specific ideas, ending with the thesis
sentence.
INTRODUCTION FORMAT
One paragraph – 5-7 sentences
(about 100 words)
Start with a lead/attention getter (like
a quote, anecdote, teaser)
Have 3-5 transition sentences that
build to the thesis
Your thesis from Unit 4 is the last
sentence of your introduction.
Opening and Closing
Teaser - Opening
• Begins the introductory
paragraph
• Grabs the readers
attention immediately
• Interesting and unusual,
but professional
Thesis Statement - Closing
• Closes the introductory
paragraph
• Makes the reader want to
continue
• The thesis sentence
functions as a "signpost"
to signal to the reader the
main ideas to come later
in the essay.
Catch Your Reader’s Attention
Immediately!
•
•
•
•
Open with a short story
Open stating your opinion
Open with a current related social issue
Open with an interesting quote
Dream Job – 5th Grade Teacher
Typical Opening
• Sheron Brown will be our
new Fifth grade teacher.
Attention Grabbing Opening
• Every now and then a
star is born in the
teaching profession and
today we want to
introduce that star in
Sheron Brown.
Dream Job – 5th Grade Teacher
Typical Opening
• We have a new Fifth
grade teacher on our
team.
Attention Grabbing Opening
• With education growing
as the nation’s priority, it
is so important that great
teachers fill our
classrooms and we’ve
just added a dynamic
teacher to our team.
Dream Job – 5th Grade Teacher
Typical Opening
• Sheron Brown is a great
new teacher with strong
beliefs that will join us this
year.
Attention Grabbing Opening
• President-elect Obama
said, “I believe it’s time to
lead a new era of mutual
responsibility in
education—one where
we all come together for
the sake of our children’s
success.” Sheron Brown,
our new Fifth grade
teacher shares this belief.
This Week’s Project
Directions for Introduction
• Your autobiography
should include an
introduction that identifies
who you are, where you
live, the company or
organization that has
hired you, and your new
job title. It will end with
the thesis statement and
follow the outline that you
submitted
in Unit 4.
Sample Paragraph
• Every now and then a star
is born in the teaching
profession and today we
want to introduce that star in
Sheron Brown. Sheron is
originally from Brooklyn,
NY—home of stars like
Barbara Streisand and
Spike Lee. As the Fifth
grade teacher here at North
Star Academy, she is sure
to help our students soar.
No star comes without
experience, and Sheron
comes to us with many
exciting experiences.
Let’s Break it Down-1
• Your autobiography should include an
introduction that identifies who you are
– Every now and then a star is born in the
teaching profession and today we want to
introduce that star in Sheron Brown.
Let’s Break it Down-2
• Where you live
– Sheron is originally from Brooklyn, NY—home
of stars like Barbra Streisand and Spike Lee.
Let’s Break it Down-3
• The company or organization that has
hired you, and your new job title
– As the Fifth grade teacher here at NorthStar
Academy, she is sure to help our students
soar.
Let’s Break it Down-4
• It will end with the thesis statement
– No star comes without experience, and
Sheron comes to us with many exciting
experiences.
Let’s take a look at various ways to start
introductions.
Sample Introduction - Quote
According to Jean Watson , " Caring is the
essence of nursing." (Lead/attention getter)
Richmond Hill Medical Center believes that a caring
nursing staff is vital. RHMC strives to hire and train
dedicated professionals with proven records of
patient care. The Medical Center prides itself on its
award winning staff. (transition sentences) RHMC
proudly announces that Martha Cooper, a 2010
graduate of Kaplan University, will bring her
exemplary background, education, and personal
experience to her new position as Director of
Nursing. (Thesis)
Sample Introduction - Question
What makes a good nurse? Answers to the
questions vary but the ideas of caring and
dedication are always at the forefront.
(Lead/attention getter) Richmond Hill Medical Center
believes that a caring nursing staff is vital. RHMC
strives to hire and train dedicated professionals with
proven records of patient care. The Medical Center
prides itself on its award winning staff. (transition
sentences) RHMC proudly announces that Martha
Cooper, a 2010 graduate of Kaplan University, will
bring her exemplary background, education, and
personal experience to her new position as Director
of Nursing. (Thesis)
Sample Introduction - Anecdote
When Martha Cooper was fifteen, she was injured
in a serious automobile accident. A passing nurse
helped save her life and inspired Martha’s lifelong desire
to be a caring healthcare profession. (Lead/attention
getter) Richmond Hill Medical Center believes that a
caring nursing staff is vital. RHMC strives to hire and
train dedicated professionals with proven records of
patient care. The Medical Center prides itself on its
award winning staff. (transition sentences) RHMC
proudly announces that Martha Cooper, a 2010 graduate
of Kaplan University, will bring her exemplary
background, education, and personal experience to her
new position as Director of Nursing. (Thesis)
Sample Introduction - Statistics
One of the growth industries of the 21st Century is
health care. Increased patient needs will drive a growth
in the number of positions for caring nurses like Martha
Cooper. (Lead/attention getter) Richmond Hill Medical
Center believes that a caring nursing staff is vital. RHMC
strives to hire and train dedicated professionals with
proven records of patient care. The Medical Center
prides itself on its award winning staff. (transition
sentences) RHMC proudly announces that Martha
Cooper, a 2010 graduate of Kaplan University, will bring
her exemplary background, education, and personal
experience to her new position as Director of Nursing.
(Thesis)
We have this as a working thesis.
What would you advise Sonia to
do next?
intimately after finishing her
degree in special education the
elementary school hired Sonia, with
all her personal information, and
experiences.
First, Sonia needs to give us the name of
the elementary school.
intimately after finishing her
degree in special education, XYZ
Elementary School hired Sonia, with all
her personal information, and
experiences
Next, Sonia needs to be sure the
sentence makes sense.
intimately after finishing her degree in
special education, XYZ Elementary School
hired Sonia, with all her personal
information, and experiences
What exactly does Sonia mean by “with all
her personal information”?
Try, “because of her background and
experience.”
Next Sonia needs to be sure she
has written a correct sentence.
intimately after finishing her degree in
special education, XYZ Elementary School
hired Sonia, because of her background
and experiences
Immediately after finishing her degree in
Special Education, Sonia was hired by
XYZ Elementary School because of her
background and experiences.
Look at this working thesis. What
is the immediate problem?
I hope that in five years I will be working
with children at my dream job and have all
the things that are needed to get there.
The paper must be written in 3rd
person, so the thesis MUST be
written in 3rd person.
I hope that in five years I will be working
with children at my dream job and have all
the things that are needed to get there.
We are left to wonder what the dream job is.
The thesis needs to be
rewritten to show that Student
X is the new lead teacher for
ZWP Elementary School.
ZWP Elementary proudly announces the
hiring of Student X as lead teacher for
their Early Education Program, citing her
education and experience as the deciding
factors in her selection.
Look at this working thesis.
Elizabeth contributes her success to her
family, her work as a journalist and her
community ties.
• What do we need to know?
What is her job?
How can she discuss a dream job if it is
kept a secret?
What is the problem with this
working thesis?
Although she has been challenged emotionally,
mentally and socially, her future goals are to
embrace those challenges and triumphs and
become a College level Professor teaching
Communications in relationship to today's
society, educating those who have face similar
challenges, to use those experiences to learn
and strengthen who they are and the person
they would like to become.
Do not try to write the entire
autobiography in a single thesis
sentence!
Student X’s future goal is to become a
College level Professor teaching
Communications.
This is the essence of what she has to
say, but what problem still exists?
The assignment calls for her to
already be hired in her Dream Job.
Student X’s future goal is to become a
College level Professor teaching
Communications.
Should become:
XYZ University is pleased to announce
that Student X has been selected as their
newest professor in the Department of
Communications.
Questions?