Transcript Tips in Writing and Presenting Information

Tips in Writing and
Presenting Information
Kanda Runapongsa
([email protected])
Dept. of Computer Engineering
Khon Kaen University
Suggestions in Writing
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Do not use the word “Data”, “Basic
Knowledge”, “Acknowledge” to
represent background information
Use “Background” for the section
that includes the background
information of the work
Make a reference to the theory that is
belong to others
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Suggestions in Writing (Cont.)
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Do not forget articles: ‘a’, ‘an’, ‘the’
Wrong: Design and querying database
 Right: Design and querying a database
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Avoid needless words
Redundant: There is a car coming to
the Computer engineering department
 Improved: A car is coming to the
Computer engineering department
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Guides for Effective Sentences
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Avoid the overuse of short, choppy
sentences
Avoid needless separation of related
parts of a sentence
Avoid dangling modifiers
Use parallel structure to express
ideas of equal importance
Avoid needless shift
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Avoid Short & Choppy Sentences
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A short, simple sentence can be
forceful
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Thailand won the Sea games.
But a long string of short sentences
usually produces a childish effect
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I walked through the wood. I saw a
squirrel. It darted up a tree.
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Avoid Short & Choppy Sentences
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The ideas that would otherwise
appear in separated sentences can
usually be effectively combined
The combination can be used to
Show their relative importance
 Show their relationship to each other
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Coordination
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The simple sentences can be
regarded as independent clauses
They can be joined by a coordinate
conjunction to form a compound
sentence
Examples of conjunctions
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But, and, so, thus, or, nor, yet
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Example1: Coordination
Sentences:
The princess had many dresses.
She cared for none of them.
 Result:
The princess had many dresses,
but she cared for none of them.
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Example2: Coordination
Sentences:
Mullins had been tricked once. He
didn’t want to be tricked again.
 Result:
Mullins had been tricked once, and
he didn’t want to be tricked
again.
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Example3: Coordination
Sentences:
Jack had nothing to do. He went to
the movies.
 Result:
Jack had nothing to do, so he went to
the movies.
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Compounding
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Simple sentences in which the same
word or group of words is used in the
same way can be combined
The combination can be done by
eliminating the repetition through
compounding the verb or the subject
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Examples: Compounding
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Sentences: We put up the tent. We
fell asleep at once.
Result: We put up the tent and fell
asleep at once.
Sentences: Carol is learning to play
bridge. I am learning to play bridge.
Result: Carol and I are learning to
play bridge.
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Subordination
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One idea or the other can be given
less emphasis by making it into a
dependent clause
This method usually expresses the
relationship between the ideas more
clearly than coordination or
compounding
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Examples: Subordination
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Sentences: He heard the news. He
was elated.
Result: When he heard the news, he
was elated.
Sentences: He had failed twice
before. He was not discouraged
Result: Although he had failed twice
before, he was not discouraged.
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Examples: Subordination
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Weak: He jumped seven feet,
breaking the world’s record
Improved: Jumping seven feet, he
broke the world’s record
Sentences: The car wouldn’t start
The engine was flooded.
Improved: The car wouldn’t start
because the engine was flooded.
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Reduction
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Whenever possible, eliminate
unnecessary words by
Reducing clauses to phrases
Reducing phrases to single words
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Examples: Reduction
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Clause: Because he was discouraged
about writing stories, Eric decided to
try nonfiction.
Phrase: Discouraged about writing
stories, Eric decided to try nonfiction.
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Examples: Reduction
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Clause: The man who is holding the
pistol is the starter.
Phrase: The man with the pistol is
the starter.
Clause: The fans booed the decision
of the umpire.
Word: The fans booed the umpire’s
decision.
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Avoid Needless Separation
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Subject and verb should not be
separated unnecessarily
Example:
Wrong: I, hoping very much to see
him, hurried.
Right: Hoping very much to see him,
I hurried.
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Avoid Needless Separation
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Adverbs should be place near the
word they modify
Example:
Wrong: We only worked for two
hours.
Right: We worked only two hours.
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Avoid Needless Separation
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Phrases should be near the word they
modify
Wrong: Notify us if you can come on
the enclosed card.
Right: Notify us on the enclosed card
if you can come.
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Avoid Needless Separation
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Phrases should be near the word they
modify
Wrong: The little girl stood beside the
horse in a blue dress.
Right: The little girl in a blue dress
stood beside the horse.
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Avoid Needless Separation
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Clauses should be near the words
they modify
Wrong: She put a hat on her head
which she had just bought.
Right: She put on her head a hat
which she had just bought.
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Avoid Needless Separation
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Clauses should be near the words
they modify
Wrong: He bought a car from his
friend that had a defective motor.
Right: He bought from his friend a
car that had a defective motor.
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Avoid Splitting of Infinitives
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Infinitives: to + Verb
Wrong: I asked her to occasionally
visit me.
Right: I asked her to visit me
occasionally.
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Avoid Dangling Modifiers
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A modifier is said to dangle when
there is no word in the sentence that
it can sensibly modify. The error can
be corrected
(1) by adding a word that the
modifier can modify
(2) by expanding the modifying into a
subordinate clause
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Avoid Dangling Modifiers
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Dangling Participle
Wrong: Flying over the Alps, the
views were spectacular.
Right: Flying over the Alps, we saw
spectacular views.
Right: When we flew over the Alps,
the views were spectacular.
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Avoid Dangling Modifiers
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Dangling Gerund Phrases
Wrong: After walking for hours, the
cabin was found by the hikers.
Right: After walking for hours, the
hikers found the cabin.
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Avoid Dangling Modifiers
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Dangling Infinitive
Wrong: To be well cooked, you must
boil beefs a half hour.
Right: To be well cooked, beefs must
be boiled a half hour.
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Avoid Dangling Modifiers
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Dangling Elliptical Clause
Wrong: When a little girl, my uncle
took me to a circus.
Right: When a little girl, I was taken
by my uncle to a circus.
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Use Parallel Structure
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Use parallel structure to express
ideas of equal importance
Wrong: She is slender, with blue
eyes, and has a friendly manner.
Right: She is slender, blue-eyed, and
friendly.
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Use Parallel Structure
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Wrong: He likes hiking and to fish
Right: He likes hiking and fishing
Right: He likes to hike and to fish
Wrong: I like to go jogging and shop
Right: I like jogging and shopping
Right: I like to go jogging and then
go shopping
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Avoid Omitting Unnecessary Words
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In comparison or degree, avoid
omitting unnecessary words
Wrong: I was so tired.
Right: I was so tired that I fell asleep
Wrong: Salaries of supervisors are
higher than workmen
Right: Salaries of supervisors are
higher than those of workmen
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Avoid Needless Shift
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Shift in person
Wrong: When you are healthy, one
should be thankful
Right: When you are healthy, you
should be thankful
Right: When one is healthy, he
should be thankful
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Avoid Needless Shift
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Shift in Number
Wrong: If a person works hard, they
will succeed
Right: If a person works hard, he will
succeed
Right: If people work hard, they will
succeed
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Avoid Needless Shift
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Avoid needless shift in subject or
voice of verb
Wrong: Laughter could be heard as
we approached the house
Right: We heard laughter as we
approached the house
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Avoid Needless Shift
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Avoid needless shift in subject or
voice of verb
Wrong: Marilyn lived by the lake, and
many hours were spent in the
swimming
Right: Marilyn lived by the lake and
spent many hours in swimming
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Avoid Needless Shift
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Shift in Tense
Wrong: She sat down by the fire and
begins to knit
Right: She sat down by the fire and
began to knit
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Avoid Needless Shift
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Shift in Mood
Wrong: Finish your work, and then
you should rest
Right: Finish your work and then rest
Right: You should finish your work,
and then you should rest
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Avoid the Double Negative
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The word hardly and scarcely are
negative in meaning: they should be
used with not:
Wrong: I can’t scarcely hear him
Right: I can scarcely hear him
Right: I can’t hear him
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Use the Active Voice
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The active voice is usually more
direct and vigorous than the passive
voice:
Weak: My first visit to Boston will
always be remembered by me
Improved: I shall always remember
my first visit to Boston
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Use the Active Voice
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Weak: The reason that he left college
was that his health became impaired
Improved: Failing health compelled
him to leave college
Weak: There were a great number of
dead leaves lying on the ground.
Improved: Dead leaves covered the
ground
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Use the Positive Form
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Make definite assertions
Avoid tame, colorless, hesitating,
non-committal language
The reader is dissatisfied with being
told only what is not; he wishes to be
told what is
Weak: he was not very often on time
Improved: He usually came late
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Use the Positive Form
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Weak: he did not think that studying
Latin was much use
Improved: He thought that the study
of Latin useless
Not honest  dishonest
Not important  unimportant
Did not remember  forget
Did not pay attention to  ignore
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Organizing a Paragraph
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Make the paragraph the unit of
composition: one paragraph to each topic
Each paragraph should begin with topic
sentence (the sentence that tells the main
idea of the paragraph)
The final sentence either emphasizes the
thought of the topic sentence or states
some important consequence
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Suggestions in Presenting
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Use the font size large enough to be
seen by the audience
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Do not use too small font sizes
Use a well-contrasted text and
background colors
Use a dark text on a light background
 Use a light text on a dark background
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Avoid distracting animation
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Organizing a Presentation
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You must do four things
Make it short
 Make the organization obvious
 Make the ideas simple and vivid
 Summarize and be prepared for
questions
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Make it Short
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It takes twice as long as to speak as
to read
Stick to a few main points
Practice it aloud
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Make the Organization Obvious
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Acknowledge the Introduction and
the Audience
Then tell them what you’re going to
tell them
Then tell them
Then tell them what you told them
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Make the Ideas Simple & Vivid
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Put your ideas in verbal pictures
Explain your strategy (where you are
trying to go) before you tactics (the
details of your route)
Use questions to keep the audience’s
attention
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Summarize
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Repeat the main points in conclusions
Repeat each question for the benefit
of the audience
Reword clumsy questions
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References
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“English Simplified” by Blanche
Ellsworth
“The Elements of Style” by William
Strunk, Jr.
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