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How to Develop a Healthy
Relationship
Avoiding Relational Traps
 Emotional
 Infatuation
 Sex
Emotional Trap:
 When we try to meet personal, emotional needs
through relationships with others we tend to be___
 disappointed
 When we try to meet our emotional needs through a
relationship, we are focusing on ___ and are not free
to___.
 getting/give
 Relationships based upon emotional needs are often
___ and jealous.
 possessive
 Robin- “After I had sex the second time, it made
me feel horrible. First of all I didn’t enjoy it, and
second I thought ‘what are you doing to yourself’?
You know you can get pregnant and maybe catch
an STD…all these thoughts were going on in my
mind.”
 Which emotional consequences(s) is Robin
experiencing?
 Nick- “I had come to a place through all the
different heartaches and heartbreaks…I was in a
real hole, a dark pit. Sleeping around wasn’t
bringing fulfillment in my life. It left me feeling
empty”.
 Which emotional consequence(s) is Nick
experiencing?
 Sarah- “Every time I had sex I was giving away a
piece of my heart. I was giving away something I
could never get back. I found myself making
excuses for the bad behavior of boyfriends. I felt
used and empty…I started hating myself.”
 Which emotional consequence(s) is Sarah
experiencing?
Infatuation Trap:
 Infatuation is often confused with ___.
 love
 Infatuation is represented by very sudden and intense
___ and can end ___.
 feelings; quickly
 Only ___ can determine if infatuation will lead to a
more serious relationship.
 time
Love vs Infatuation Handout
 As a group, we will fill out “Love vs Infatuation”.
 “Take the Love Test.”
 Read “Dating to Discover” and answer the three
questions.
Sex Trap:
 Sexual, romantic feelings can be confused with being
in ___.
 love
 Sex can involve only the ___ and prevent a deeper
relationship from developing.
 physical
 A relationship based only on sex usually does ___ last.
 not
Why do you think that 66% of all
sexually active teens interviewed
reported that they wished they
waited longer to have sex?
 Compatibility
 Character Counts
Areas
 Honesty
 Self-control
 Respect
 Responsibility
 Caring
Choosing the right person.
Choosing the Right Person
One of the most important things to know about a
potential date is the quality of the person’s character.
Is unselfish
Treat others well
Is tolerate and respectful
Has similar morals and values
Is fun to be with
Respects themselves
Avoiding the Wrong Person
Do not date someone that
Hurts you physically or emotionally
Does not respect your morals and values
Makes you feel badly about your self
Is jealous
Is possessive
Being the Right Person
Honest
Trustworthy
Generous
Not possessive
Good friend
Person of integrity and character
Sexual Assault and Rape
Sexual Assault
Any sexual activity in
which force or threat
of force is used.
In more than half of the rapes committed,
the victim knows the attacker. Being raped
by someone you know is more common
than left-handedness, heart attacks , or
alcoholism.
Most common mistakes made:
 A teenage girl voluntarily agreeing to go to the
house, apartment, or car of a young man she has
known for less than 24 hours.
 The impairment of the victim by drugs or alcohol.
Safety Tips
 If you are going on a date
 Be aware that alcohol
find out as much as you
can about the person.
 If you don’t know your
date very well, consider
double-dating.
 Know the dating plans
and tell someone.
 Don’t hesitate to be
assertive when you say
NO.
decreases your ability to
react and impairs your
judgment.
 If attending a party, do
not leave with a guy you
don’t know very well.
 Avoid out-of-the way
places or secluded areas.
 Listen to your instincts!
Date Rape Drugs
There are at least three date rape drugs.
GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric acid)
Rohypnol (flunitrazepam)
Ketamine (ketamine hydrochloride)
 Because of the effect of these drugs,
victims may be physically helpless,
unable to refuse sex, and cannot
remember what happened.
 The drugs often have no color, smell, or
taste.
 They are easily added to flavored drinks
without the victim’s knowledge.
 These drugs have been used on both
men and women.
What do the drugs look like?
 GHB – liquid with no odor or color, white powder, and
pill.
 Rohypnol – pill that dissolves in liquids (new ones turn
blue in liquid)
 Ketamine – white powder
What effects do these drugs have
on the body?
 They can affect you quickly.
 The length of time that the effects last varies
depending on how much of the drug is
taken.
 Alcohol can worsen the drug’s effects.
Are these drugs legal in the US?
 Rohypnol is NOT legal in the U.S. It is legal in
Europe and Mexico and brought into the U.S.
illegally.
 Ketamine is legal in the U.S. for use as an
anesthetic for humans and animals. Mostly
animals.
 GHB was recently made legal in the U.S. to treat
problems from narcolepsy (a sleep problem).
Is alcohol a date rape drug?
 Alcohol is a drug that can put a person at risk for
unwanted or risky sexual activity.
 When a person is drinking alcohol:
 It is harder to think clearly and evaluate a
potentially dangerous situation.
 It’s harder to resist sexual or physical assault.
 Drinking too much alcohol can also cause blackouts and memory loss.
If a victim of sexual assault drank alcohol, they are
not at fault for being assaulted.
How can I protect myself from being a
victim?
 Don’t’ accept drinks from other people.
 Open containers yourself.
 Keep your drink with you at all times, even when
you go to the bathroom.
 Don’t share drinks.
 Don’t drink from punch bowls, etc.
 Don’t drink anything that tastes funny. (GHB may
taste salty)
 Have a friend that can “watch your back.”
If you think that you have been raped:
 Go to the police station or hospital right away.
 Get a urine test asap. The drugs leave your system
quickly. Rohypnol: 72 hours GHB: 12 hours
 Don’t urinate before getting help.
 Don’t douche, bathe, or change clothes before getting
help. You may disturb evidence.
 Call a crisis center or hotline to talk to a counselor.
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1 -800-656-HOPE