Transcript paraprofessionalCommunChapter4

SCHOOL CONTACT LIST
If you are just starting a new position as a paraprofessional, it is important that you get to know your team members.
Staff members may change between school years so you may wish to copy this form for future use to assist you in
getting to know the faculty and staff in the building. Complete the form by writing in each person’s name, where they
work, and a brief note about them to help you remember them.
Part 4: Body Language
Introductory Assignment
Write the following in your journal:
1) Find 3 examples of body language
2) Describe what the person was doing that
communicates a message.
Tips for Understanding
Body Language
According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian, the
author of Silent Messages, 50
percent of our communication cues
are visual.
Assignment
Find Dr. Albert Mehrabian on Wikipedia
Read pp. 1-3 about Dr. Mehrabian
Answer these questions:
1. If your words disagree with your tone of voice and nonverbal behavior, then:
a) people don’t believe you
b) people ask you to repeat yourself
c) people believe the tone and nonverbal behavior of your message rather than your words
2.
T or F The nonverbal cues a person gives while speaking convey that person’s attitude towards
what he/she is saying.
3.
T or F
Word selection or connotation is not as influential as the tone of voice a person uses.
Answers: 1. c
2. T 3. T
Dr. Albert Mehrabian:
Three elements of communication
There are three elements in any face-to-face
communication: 1) words, 2) tone of voice, and
3) nonverbal behavior (e.g., facial expression).
“If words disagree with the tone of voice and
nonverbal behavior, people tend to believe the
tonality and nonverbal behavior.”
Write the following in your journal:
What is meant by Dr. Mehrabian’s quote?
Dr. Albert Mehrabian:
7%-38%-55% rule
7% - words
38% - tone of voice
55% - body language
“For effective and meaningful communication about
emotions, these three parts of the message need to
support each other – they have to be ‘congruent.’”
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Mehrabian
Verbal and nonverbal messages
journal
Do these two messages “go together” or have congruence?
Verbal: “No, I am not upset with you!”
Nonverbal: The same person demonstrates
closed body language, avoids eye contact and
looks anxious.
Write responses to the following in your journal:
Do you think I am upset with you? Why?
How is my verbal message not supported
by my nonverbal body language?
According to Orey and Prisk,
the 7 messages below are frequently conveyed by body language.
1. Feeling skeptical or defensive
2. Making a decision
3. Listening with interest
4. Making an evaluation
5. Feeling excitement or optimism
6. Making a surprising revelation or evaluation
7. Feeling anxiety
Adapted from: Orey, M., Prisk, J. (2004) Communication Skills
TRAINING, ASTD Press
According to Orey and Prisk, the 7 types of body language
below convey different messages:
1. Standing or sitting with tightly folded arms and
crossed feet
2. Chin stroking
3. Cheek resting on fist, index finger pointing up
4. Hands clasped at chin, elbows on table
5. Rubbing hands together
6. Holding hand over mouth
7. Chewing tips of fingers
Do the people in these pictures convey #6
on the list of body language messages?
Do these pictures convey #6 on the list:
surprising revelation or evaluation?
Answer: YES #6
Which message (#1-7) does
this body language convey?
Which message (#1-7) does
this body language convey?
Answer: #1 Feeling skeptical or defensive
Given #1-7, which message does this
body language convey?
Given #1-7, which message does this
body language convey?
Answer: #2 Making a decision
Which message (#1-7) does this body
language convey?
Which message (#1-7) does this body
language convey?
Answer: #5 Feeling excitement or optimism
Given the 7 messages conveyed by body
language, which one is conveyed in these
pictures?
Given the 7 messages conveyed by body
language, which one is conveyed in these
pictures?
Answer: #7 Feeling anxiety
Which of the pictures below convey message
#3, listening with interest?
Figure 61
Figure 62
Figure 64
Which of the pictures below convey message
#3, listening with interest?
Figure 61
Answer: Figures 62 and 64 convey #3
Listening with interest
Figure 62
Figure 64
What message does this body language convey
(#1-7)?
What message does this body language convey
(#1-7)?
Answer: #4 Making an evaluation
Reflection assignment:
Write a reflection response
Choose an example of body language which you
find offensive, annoying or rude.
Describe it.
How did you react to the message? Why?
Body Language: How to read others’
thoughts by their gestures
“As a young boy, I was always aware that
what people said was not always what
they meant or were feeling and that it
was…”
by Allan Pease
Face-to-Face Encounter
The “ability to read a person’s attitudes and
thoughts by their behavior was the original
communication system used by humans
before spoken language evolved.”
Source: Pease, A. (1992) Body Language: How to Read Others Thoughts by
Their Gestures. Sheldon Press
Take a Closer Look:
“FOLDED ARMS” gesture
Source: Pease, A. (1992) Body Language:
How to Read Others Thoughts by Their Gestures. Sheldon Press
Self-Awareness Activity
journal
Find 30 minutes today to pay attention to your own
behavior. What did you do? What body
language did you demonstrate? What message
did you send to the people around you through
that body language.
Perceptiveness, Intuition and Hunches
1.”his or her ability to read another
person’s nonverbal cues and compare
these cues with verbal signals”
2. “when we say that we have a ‘hunch’ or
‘gut feeling’ that someone has told us a lie,
we really mean that their body language
and their spoken words do not agree”
Hunches
How do you “get a hunch” that your audience is
not paying attention to you?
Create a Caption Activity
Write a caption for each of the two pictures shown
in the next slide. Make it a “cartoon bubble” or a
serious caption that fits the dialogue, nonverbal
signal, and/or communication you believe is
taking place between the man and woman.
Write in your journal:
“cartoon bubble” or serious caption to
fit the communication between the man and
woman in the two pictures on next slide.
Intuition
Women have an innate ability to pick up and
decipher nonverbal signals. Verbal
communication and nonverbal signals
are paired in these pictures.
Part 5: Listening
Four powerful listening skills:
1. ASK: Start by simply expressing interest in the other person’s
views.
2. MIRROR: Respectfully acknowledge the emotions people appear to
be feeling.
3. PARAPHRASE: As others begin to share part of their story, restate
what you’ve heard to show not just that you understand, but also
that it’s safe for them to share what they are thinking.
4. PRIME: If others continue to hold back, prime. Take your best
guess at what they may be thinking and feeling.
Source: Patterson, K., Grenny, J. McMillan, R., and Swtizler, A. (2002). Crucial Conversations: Tools
for Talking When Stakes are High. McGraw Hill
Listening is a Skill
Improve your listening skills in the workplace to…
avoid conflict and misunderstandings
Do we listen?
Dismal fact?
Are you hearing the whole message?
Did you get the important facts?
10 Tips for Listening
1. Face the speaker.
2. Maintain eye contact
http://powertochange.com
10 Tips for Listening
3. Minimize external distractions.
4. Respond appropriately.
5. Focus solely on what the speaker is saying.
http://powertochange.com
Tip
Tip: If you’re finding it particularly difficult to
concentrate on what someone is saying, try
repeating their words mentally as they say
them – this will reinforce their message and
help you stay focused.
Source: www.mindtools.com
10 Tips for Listening
6. Minimize internal distractions.
6.
Keep an open mind.
7.
Avoid letting the speaker know how you
handled a similar situation.
http://powertochange.com
Tip
Tip: If you find yourself responding
emotionally to what someone said, say so,
and ask for more information. “I may not be
understanding you correctly, and I find
myself taking what you said personally.
What I thought you just said is XXX; is that
what you meant?”
10 Tips for Listening
8. Provide feedback.
9. Engage yourself.
Ask questions for clarification, but, wait until the speaker
has finished. That way, you won’t interrupt the other person’s train of thought. After you ask
questions, paraphrase the other person’s point to make sure you understood. Start with: “So your
are saying…”.
Source: http://powertochange.com
Tip
Treat the other person as you would want to be
treated. Show respect. Then reflect.
Use of Mnemonic Device for
Listening Skills
S.O.L.E.R.
Squarely face the person
Open your posture
Lean towards the sender
Eye contact maintained
Relax while attending
Review Tips for Listening:
Paraphrasing
What?
Restating a message, but using fewer words.
Why?
To test your understanding of what you heard.
To communicate that you are trying to understand
what is being said.
Example of Paraphrasing
Sally: “I don’t understand; one minute she tells me
to do this, and the next minute to do that.”
Jenny: “She really confuses you.”
Student: “I really think he’s a nice guy. He’s so
thoughtful and kind. He calls me a lot.”
Mrs. J: “It sounds like you like him very much.”
Review Tips for Listening:
Clarifying
What?
Process of bringing vague material into sharper
focus.
Why?
To get more information.
To help the speaker see other points of view.
To identify what was said.
Examples of Clarifying
Tom: “I’m confused, let me try to state what I think
you were trying to say.”
OR
Tom: “You’ve said so much, let me see if I’ve got
it all.” blah blah blah
Review Tips for Listening:
Summarizing
What?
Pulling together and organizing major aspects of
your conversation.
Why?
To establish a basis for further discussion
Pull together major ideas and facts
Barriers to Listening
I’m in a hurry
I’m distracted by what’s around me
I’m bored
I’m thinking about what I’m going to say
I’m out of my comfort zone
I’m daydreaming
Source: I Wish I Knew What to Say When…: Communication Strategies for Difficult Situations.
Marilyn Friend, University of North Carolina at Greensboro, 18th Annual Inclusion Works
conference, February 25, 2011
More Barriers to Listening
I know what the speaker will say
I want it repeated
I’m on mental overload
I’m not responsible for the information
I’m tired
I’m confused by the topic or speaker
Part 6: Careful Communication
in the Workplace
1. Remember that the only person you can
directly control is yourself.
2. When you’ve clearly violated respect,
apologize.
Source: Patterson, K., Grenny, J. McMillan, R., and Switzler, A.
(2002). Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When
Stakes are High. McGraw Hill
Control Yourself
journal
1. The only person you can directly control is
yourself.
2. Work on yourself first
3. Start with the heart
Source: Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., and Switzler, A. (2002). Crucial Conversations: Tools
for Talking When Stakes are High. McGraw Hill
What are crucial conversations?
Apologize
When you have clearly violated respect, then you
should apologize.
1. Do others believe you care about their goals,
opinions or views?
2. Do others believe you respect them?
STATE my Message
Share your facts.
Start with the least controversial, most
persuasive elements.
Tell your story.
Explain what you are beginning to share.
Ask for others’ to share.
Encourage others to share both their
facts and their stories.
Talk tentatively.
State your story as a story, don’t disguise it as
a fact.
Encourage differing views.
Make it safe for others to
express differing or even opposing views.
Source: Patterson, K., Grenny, J. McMillan, R., and Swtizler, A.
(2002). Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When
Stakes are High. McGraw Hill
Sharing Your Views
ABC’s of sharing your views:
Agree. Agree when you do.
Build. If others leave something out, agree where
you do, then build.
Compare. When you do differ significantly, don’t
suggest others are wrong. Compare your two
views.
Source: Patterson, K., Grenny, J. McMillan, R., and Swtizler, A. (2002). Crucial Conversations: Tools
for Talking When Stakes are High. McGraw Hill
Day to Day Conversations
What makes a conversation crucial?
1. Opinions/views may vary
2. Stakes are high
3. Emotions run high
Source: Patterson, K., Grenny, J. McMillan, R., and Swtizler, A. (2002). Crucial Conversations: Tools for
Talking When Stakes are High. McGraw Hill
Which word would you choose?
journal
bizarre
peculiar
weird
strange
unusual
odd
unique
Which word would you choose?
journal
“Your child was acting
ridiculous today!”
ridiculous
pathetic
idiotic
absurd
ludicrous
Which word would you choose?
apathetic
lethargic
unenergtic
sluggish
Lazy
careless
inattentive
neglectful unconcerned tired
procrastinating
loitering
unhurried
slow-moving listless unemotional
slow
“Your child was acting crazy
today.”
journal
“How would you feel if someone called your child
“crazy” or used the word “crazy” to describe your
child.”
berserk
demented
crazy
psycho
mad insane certifiable
lunatic ape cuckoo cracked
Which label would you choose?
Juvenile delinquent
Brat
Troubled child
Troublemaker
Rebel
Using labels in conversation
Mark is a juvenile delinquent.
Matt is a brat.
Kristen is a bizarre child.
Cathy is pathetic.
Patrick is a rebel.
Messages for Good Communication with Parents
1. Mutual respect between the school and family
2. Shared responsibility for student success
3. Mutual goals for students
4. Academic progress
5. Positive self image
6. Appreciation for learning
7. Development of appropriate social skills
8. Preparation for transition to adolescence and adulthood
Source: Family-Teacher Partnerships, Minnesota Parent Center, Pacer
Center, Minneapolis, MN
What is the parent saying?
1. Remember, understanding information does
not mean everyone agrees
2. Be willing to discuss different points of view
3. Understanding other perspectives is critical
4. Be open to compromise
5. Avoid hasty judgments, decisions and actions
Source: Family-Teacher Partnerships, Minnesota Parent Center, Pacer Center,
Minneapolis, MN
Cultural Aspects of Communication
1. Language barriers may exist
2. Educational concerns or priorities may vary
3. Minority and low-income families may be treated
differently
Source: Family-Teacher Partnerships, Minnesota Parent
Center, Pacer Center, Minneapolis, MN
Cultural Aspects of Communication
Cross-cultural communication skills:
1. If words are used differently between languages
or cultural groups, however, even active listening
can overlook misunderstandings.
2. Active listening can sometimes be used by
repeating what one thinks he or she heard.
Source: http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/peace/treatment/xcolcomm.htm
Cultural Aspects of Communication
Potential Barrier
Beliefs
Students with non-English-speaking parents are less likely to be successful.
Asian American students are more likely to excel academically.
Low-income Hispanic/Latino families do not place high priority on education.
Low-income or single parents not likely to be as involved in child’s education.
African American students often need special special education services.
Native American students are thought to be more unreliable.
Source: Family-Teacher Partnerships, Minnesota Parent Center, Pacer Center, Inc. Minneapolis, MN
Effective Communication with Parents
1. Ask questions to help you clarify what parents tell you.
2. Don’t assume that you understand.
3. Summarize statements and wait for a confirmation.
4. Remember, understanding information does not mean
everyone agrees.
5. Be willing to discuss different points of view.
6. Understanding other perspectives is critical.
7. Avoid hasty judgments, decisions, and actions.
Source: Family-Teacher Partnerships, Minnesota Parent Center, Pacer Center, Inc. Minneapolis, MN
Cultural Beliefs and Expectations
1. Importance of education
2. What student should be learning
3. Role of educator
4. Role of student
5. Cultural styles of communication
6. Cultural customs and behaviors
7. Styles of conflict
Source: Family-Teacher Partnerships, Minnesota Parent Center, Pacer Center, Inc. Minneapolis, MN
Cross-Cultural Communication
Create a respectful and nonthreatening environment for everyone:
Be aware of words, images and situations that suggest that all or most members of a racial or cultural
group are the same.
Avoid using racial identification except when it is absolutely essential to your communication.
Avoid language that has questionable racial or ethnic connotations.
Be aware of the rules for attentiveness during conversation.
Be aware that objects, characters, and symbols may reflect different beliefs or values for different
groups.
Be aware that cultures may vary in what they consider humorous or taboo.
Cultures may use different standards for loudness, speed of delivery , silence, attentiveness and time
to respond to another’s point of view.
Source: Family-Teacher Partnerships, Minnesota Parent Center, Pacer Center, Inc. Minneapolis, MN