Transcript Marriage Expectations and Relationships

Chapter 8 – Katie Reck
MARRIAGE EXPECTATIONS AND
RELATIONSHIPS
Divorce
 Prevalence
Marriage Gap
Risk Factors for Divorce
 Marrying young
 _________
 Ethnic minority
 Unemployment
 _____________________
 __________ (without plans to marry)
 Premarital birth
 ___________
 Remarriage
 _______________________
Interpersonal Predictors of
Divorce
 Domestic Violence
 _______________
 Infidelity
 Perceived relationship problems
 ________________
 Low levels of love and trust
Men versus Women
Norms in Marriage
Gender Roles
Work and Family
Marriage and
Cohabitation
What are some of the
expectations that come
with marriage?
Fidelity:
_________________________
_
 ________% of adult relationships experience cheating
 Why Cheat?




Permissive attitudes towards cheating (men only)
___________________________
Opportunities to cheat
Boredom, insecurity, immaturity, and
________________
 ____________________________
 Increased ________and _________
____________.
Permanence:
___________________________
 Marriage versus cohabitation
 ________theory vs. __________theory
___% of divorced couples
state that commitment
is the reason for
marriage ending
Kindness:
Being good, considerate, and pleasant
 ________________
 Small acts of kindness and service
 Actively _________________experiences
 Quality versus quantity time
 Some things simply don’t need to be said
 Recognize weaknesses constructively
 Appreciate and acknowledge
 “Thank you”
 __________________
 Recognize difficulties and assist
Communication
Communication is
the process of
_______________
_, and as such, it is
the fundamental
_______________
all human
relationships.
Communication
consists of sending
and receiving
messages, usually
by speaking and
listening.
_______________________
Are you a good communicator?
Types of Communication
 _______________– common / mundane
communication that occurs on a daily basis
 Not usually very fulfilling for the partners involved
 _______________________– feeling close to
one another, to be understood, and to share
thoughts and feelings.
 Intimacy – ___________________________________
Strategies for Positive
Couple Communication
Have a “__________”
 It takes two!
 Personal style vs.
couple style
 ____________
 Have a “__________” mentality
Ground Rules
 Rule #1 – ________________
 Positive
 Free from distraction
 Rule #2 – How you start is how you’ll finish
 Calm and nonaggressive
 Rule #3 – _________________
 “___” Statements – “I get frustrated when…”
“You don’t ever…”

http://www.nbc.com/the-office/video/conflict-resolution/116196
Ground Rules
 Rule #4 – _____________________
 One issue at a time
 Current events
 Less likely to “tune-out”
 Rule #5 – ______________
 Mind reading
 Be specific and use examples
 Rule #6 – Stop, Pause, Listen
 Let them speak so you know they understand
 _____________________________
Ground Rules
 Rule #7 – ____________
 Be willing to compromise
 _________
 Its okay to “agree to disagree”
 Reschedule
 “______” is not always the solution
___________ – Not a Spectator
Sport
 You do not have to agree
 __________________
 Rule #1 – _________




Easier said than done
Not planning a response
You understand
Body language
 Rule #2 – ______________________
 Pause and reflect
 Replay it in your own words
 Their thoughts were received and understood
 Rule #3 – ______, Not Re-Butt
 Counter-productive
 One opinion against another
 Shouldn’t win or lose
 Rule #4 – The Art _________________
 Paying attention and emotionally invested
 ________________
 They will not be afraid of being attacked
Communication
 Play by the rules
 Give the benefit of the doubt
________versus _________in
Relationships
 Dr. John Gottman and the LOVE LAB
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
 __________
 Attacking the person rather than the behavior
 __________
 Intended negativity and hurtfulness
 __________
 Feeling victimized and taking
action to protect oneself
 ___________
 Withdrawing from interactions
Can the positive outweigh
the negative?
 ________affect
 Humor, affection, interest
_________
negative
 __________________________