Transcript Families - Gordon State College

The Family is a System
Nuclear Family
 Marital relationships
 Parenting relationships
 Sibling relationships
 Interactive relationships
Time Spent in Birth Families
 Nearly half of young adults return home after
leaving
 Many ethnic single adults tend to live at home
 In the U.S. in 2000, average age of marriage was
25 for women and 27 (29) for men.
 90% of North Americans marry at least once, and
59-60% are living as married couples.
Nuclear Families Connect Extended Families
Extended Family
Grandparents, great-grandparents
Aunts, Uncles, Cousins
Tribes, Clans
Regional and Ethnic Groups
Nations
Functions of the Family
For Society
 New members
 Socialization of new members
 Protection of the young
 Provision for the young
 Some regulation of behavior
For Individuals
 Safe haven for individuals – felt security
 Identity
 Material assistance
Historical Sociocultural Changes
Have Affected the Family
 Movement to urban areas – mobility affects
extended families
 Economic depression/war demoralizes &
destabilizes families.
 Decrease in family size changes parenting & role
structure
 Divorce – creates hodgepodge of family
structures
 Media & technology – distractions to family
life
Socio-cultural Value Changes Have
Affected the Family
Belief that marriage is for personal fulfillment
rather than a social contract (or religious
covenant)
Belief that a stable environment is not
required to provide the security needed for
adult psychological function. (Later added
children to this.)
Socio-cultural Value Changes
Belief that parenting is gender neutral.
Change in sexual morals and mores.
Belief in the importance of pursuing personal
fulfillment.
Myths, Attitudes, & Values Regarding Marriage
Relationship Uniqueness
 Survey Results
 Is chastity important in selecting a marriage partner?
 Not important in the U.S., Sweden, Finland, Norway,
Netherlands, Germany
 Somewhat important in Japan & Ireland
 Most important in China, India, Indonesia, Iran,
Taiwan, Palestine
Myths, Attitudes, & Values
Regarding Marriage
What is important in selection of a marital
partner in the U.S.?
Housekeeping is not.
Emotional sensitivity is somewhat
Finding our soul-mates
Is being in love the only
reason to marry?
 Yes, in the United States
 What is being in love?
 Is it infatuation?
 How is love regarded in other cultures?
 Dependency on the other
 Companionship and practical matters
 Autonomy, appreciation of the other, intense emotion (our
culture)
 How are mates chosen in other cultures?
Cohabiting Adults
 In 2000, 60% of couples were cohabiting
 1/3 of these relationships last less than a
year
 Less than 10% of them last 5 years
 They are more egalitarian than marital
relationships (Other than sex, you may be
living as roommates.)
Cohabiting Adults
 Disadvantages of cohabitation
 Social disapproval
 Emotional strain
 Legalities of joint property
 Potential problems of child custody
 The experience of cohabitation changes attitudes and the
nature of the relationship.
Cohabitation before Marriage
Most studies show that it leads to:
Lower marital satisfaction
Lower happiness
Lower levels of commitment
Higher divorce rate
Some show no difference from noncohabitants
Marital Expectations
Unrealistic expectations are probably a
factor in divorce.
Couples spend little time reflecting on
the decision to marry.
What are some unrealistic expectations?
 Satisfaction increases through the first year
of marriage.
 The best single predictor of marital
satisfaction is the quality of the couple’s sex
life.
 If my spouse loves me, he or she should
instinctively know what will make me happy.
 No matter how I behave, my spouse should
love me simply because he or she is my
spouse.
Dual-Earner Marriage
Role overload - conflict between work and
family responsibilities
Role conflict – being torn by the desire to
excel at work and spend time with the
family
These are greater for women
Dual-Earner Marriage
 Usually the housework that is sacrificed
 Can provide a better standard of living (not the
same thing as quality of life)
 Marital inequity is likely a factor in divorce.
Working Parents
 Over 50% of moms are employed
 Does this just take the time formerly devoted to
housework & more kids?
 Would parents overinvest in their kids?
 Small children in daycare may suffer in cognitive
development, attachment, & social skills.
 Being a latchkey child is associated with
delinquency, school problems & drug & alcohol
use.
Many moms who can
afford it are going home.
Ivy league schools have found
that only 38% of their female
graduates of childbearing age
are actually in the workforce.
And why do we get divorces?
 Poor conflict-resolution skills
 Poor communication patterns
 Younger age at marriage
 Not attending religious services
 Parental divorce
 Multiple life stresses
 Women‘s independence
 No-fault divorce laws
 Divorce is usually initiated by women
And then what happens?
Single Parenting
 Custodial Parents
Overwhelmed
Suffer financial decline (women)
Go into poverty
 Non-custodial Parents
Have too little time with children
Feel alienated
And how about the children?
 Lose a parent
 Go into poverty
 Feel they are to blame – unlovable
 Defend the “innocent” parent; custodial parent
 Step-parent or blended family adjustment
 Tend to be insecure, fear abandonment
 Caught in the middle
 Trapped in awkward relationships
 May change schools, friends, neighborhoods
 Trouble with adult relationships
Sociocultural Influences
Who is Poor?
 Women — feminization of poverty
1/3 of single mothers; 10% of single
fathers
 Families and poverty
Economic pressure linked with parenting
Benefits to parents help children
Exiting Divorce
 Having trouble trusting everyone
 Heatherington’s Categories
Enhancers 20% - better off
Good enough' s – end up about the same
Seekers – 40% of men; 38% of women
Libertines – series of relationships
Competent loners – don’t remarry
Defeated – worse off
Remarriage
 On average, people remarry within 4 years.
 Practical matters figure into this decision
Financial help
Childrearing help
Loneliness
 The divorce rate is higher for second marriages.
Only about 1/3 stay remarried.
Negative patterns transferred
View divorce as acceptable
Stepfamily situations
Staying Married
 Most unhappy marriages dissolve between the 5th and 10th
year
 One study shows that if people with marital problems will
stay together for five years they will have returned to
marital happiness
 72% of people at midlife say their marriages are very good
or excellent
 The majority of older married adults say that their
marriages are happy
 Four times as many widows as widowers
Marital Satisfaction Is Good for
Your Health
 More men than women report being happily
married
 Being married is associated with gains in mental
and physical health for men
 Relationship quality has a greater impact on
mental health for women
 Women are dissatisfied when the demands of
family and career are overwhelming.
Marital Satisfaction Is Good for
Your Health
 One study of married women ages 42-50
 Happily married women had lower BMI
(weight), hypertension, cholesterol,
depression
 Overall, being happily married means being
less stressed
 Being unhappily married is associated with
higher rates of illness and earlier death.
Never Married Single Parents
 Largest group is African-American young women
(70% of births)
 Why?
 Tap the extended family
 One-third marry later
 Still have problems of poverty, poor school
achievement of children and antisocial behavior.
What is Child Maltreatment?
 Physical Abuse
 Sexual Abuse
 Neglect (physical, educational, emotional)
 Emotional/psychological Abuse
Profile of Maltreatment
 Most common offender is a young, poor, single
mother who is overwhelmed and engages in neglect
and psychological abuse
 Factors are social isolation, unrealistic expectations
of the child, substance abuse, depression, poverty,
sickly or difficult child, other life stresses
Consequences of Maltreatment
 Physiological – stress hormones, abnormal
brain wave patterns
 Emotional – rejection, anxiety, self-blame,
psychological pain
 Social – discipline problems at school, poor
peer relations
 Eventually serious learning and adjustment
problems, depression, substance abuse,
academic failure, delinquency
Preventing Child Maltreatment
 Research indicates that a trusting
relationship with another person is the
most important factor is preventing
mothers with childhood histories of abuse
from repeating the cycle.
 Parents Anonymous
Skipped-Generation Families
 Surrogate parenting: grandparents take custody
of their own grandchildren because the parent is
not functioning due to such factors as drug
abuse, mental illness, incarceration, adolescent
pregnancy, divorce.
 Includes about 5.6 million children
Childless Couples
 DINKs - double-income, no kids
 How many couples are voluntarily childless?
3-6% or 10-15%
 Often has to do with career commitment
Unintended Childlessness
 Career Women (Hewlett, 2002)
 33% were childless at age 40
 42% who worked in corporations were childless
 49% of (6-figure) ultra-achievers were childless
 25% of high achievers age 41-55 (&31% of ultraachievers) would like to have a child
 No high achiever had a child after age 39 and no
ultra-achiever after age 36