Transcript Writing

Reminders
Final Draft Deadline
Read Werner and Hall
General Comments
• See
handout we mailed you, but here’s a summary
• Every fact needs a citation
•Cite using correct format (Kitchell 1974) OR (Kornis and
Gaeta 2009) OR (Carpenter et al. 2004)
• Literature cited in alphabetical order and correct format
•Harvey, C.J., and J.T. Hinke. 1996. Habitat preferences of
three species of aquarium fishes: fake plants vs. little
bubbling treasure chests. Journal of Banality 14: 105-114.
• Only use relevant and important tables and figures ONLY
RELEVANT DATA, NO RAW DATA)
• Answer the hypothesis!
• Writing needs to flow – connect to your topic sentence
ideas. DO NOT TAKE COMMENTS ABOUT REWORDING
LIGHTLY
• CONCISION! Clarity! Be clear! Don’t use a lot of words
when a few words tell the story you are trying to tell to your
audience otherwise it sounds ridiculous and your reader
goes to sleep on his comfy pillow while reading your article.
Key Issue: Concision (wordiness)
Original
In optimal foraging theory fish should forage in ways that
maximize the ratio of benefits to cost. The benefits include such
things as the amount of food achieved, the gross energy intake,
and a net energy gain to use in growth. The costs include the
handling time for foraging and the predation risk that goes with
certain foods.
Suggested revision
According to foraging theory, fish select for behavior that will
minimize cost to benefit foraging ratios, with costs including the
energy and risk associated with food acquisition and the benefit
being net energy gained.
Key Issue: Saying in 3 sentences what only requires 1
Original
In order to study stream ecology and species distribution and diversity of
Badger Mill Creek, groups from Zoology 511 were dispatched over two
days to sample the stream. This is a small cool-water stream in Verona,
Wisconsin. The groups were composed of undergraduate students, and
the sampling occurred on the afternoons of February 26 and 27, 2008.
Suggested revision
White sucker habitat preference was investigated by two groups of
Zoology 511 undergraduate students on February 26 and 27, 2008 in
Badger Mill Creek, a small cool-water stream in Verona, WI.
or even better, but loosing some of the original content:
White sucker habitat preference was investigated in Badger Mill Creek,
a small cool-water stream in Verona, WI, on February 26 and 27, 2008.
Key Issue: Passive vs. Active
Original
It is a high productivity stream though because of steady
inflows of warm water from wastewater treatment facilities in
Verona.
Suggested Revision
The steady inflow of warm water from wastewater treatment
facilities in Verona result in a higher level of productivity in
Badger Mill Creek.
Key Issue: Writing like a Scientist
Original
As Europeans began to colonize the New World, they
considered it a good idea to bring along some of the organisms
that they enjoyed in their homeland.
Suggested Revision
Many prevalent “native” species in North America are actually
native to Eurasia and were transported overseas as Europeans
colonized the New World.
Key Issue: Writing Results
Original
Average depth (cm) and white sucker length (mm) was then
graphed using a linear regression model, presenting a positive
correlation. P-value for these two variables equaled 0.290 while
R2 equaled 0.1234 (Figure 2).
Suggested Revision
Average depth and white sucker length were positively
correlated, but not significantly (p=0.290, R2=0.1234, Figure 2).