Transcript sentence-structure

Selected Topics in
Sentence Structure
Intensive Course in Research Writing
Texas A&M University
July 11-15, 2011
Susan E. Aiello, DVM, ELS
[email protected]
WordsWorld Consulting
www.words-world.net
Sentence Structure
Express the main message in the main parts of
the sentence (ie, the subject and the verb).
Be aware of using active vs passive voice.
Be sure that antecedents of pronouns are clear.
Watch placement of modifiers and participles.
Express comparisons clearly.
Put parallel ideas in parallel form.
Differentiate between essential and
nonessential clauses.
Express the Main Message in the
Subject and the Verb
Make the topic the subject
of the sentence.
Put the action in the verb.
Topic as Subject
Example: The dog showed no change in
clinical signs.
The dog’s clinical signs did not change.
The dog’s clinical signs were unchanged.
Topic as Subject
The patient was begun on 6 g of aspirin daily
and had resolution of his arthritis.
After the patient began taking 6 g of aspirin
daily, his arthritis resolved.
Aspirin (6 g daily) resolved the patient’s arthritis.
Action in the Verb
English is a language of verbs.
The more of the meaning you put into
verbs, the stronger the statement will be.
Omitting or weakening verbs creates weak
sentences.
What is the action?
Is there a verb to express it?
Action in the Verb
An increase in heart rate occurred.
Heart rate increased.
Evaporation of ethanol from the mixture takes
place rapidly.
Ethanol evaporates from the mixture rapidly.
We made at least two analyses on each
specimen.
We analyzed each specimen at least twice.
Action in the Verb
Prolongation of life for uremic patients has been made
possible by improved conservative treatment and
hemodialysis.
Uremic patients live longer because of improved
conservative treatment and hemodialysis.
The lives of uremic patients have been prolonged by
improved conservative treatment and hemodialysis.
Improved conservative treatment and hemodialysis
have prolonged the lives of uremic patients.
How to Find Action that is
Not in the Verb
Look for weak verbs
occurred, showed, was observed, was achieved, etc
Look for nouns made from verbs:
-tion inhibition, formation, interpretation, etc
-ment measurement, assessment
-ence occurrence, existence
Look for increase and decrease used as nouns
instead of verbs.
Active versus Passive Voice
It was done by us.
We did it.
In general, the active voice is:
More concise
More forceful
More persuasive
Encouraged for the Introduction and the Discussion
Active versus Passive Voice
To determine the mechanism for the direct
effect of contrast media on heart muscle
mechanics, this study on heart muscles
isolated from cats was performed.
To determine the mechanism for the direct
effect of contrast media on heart muscle
mechanics, we performed this study on
heart muscles isolated from cats.
Active versus Passive Voice
It is our expectation that through additional acquisitions,
we will construct a network of companies that can
operate first on a national and then on an international
basis. Initiatives have been taken to penetrate the animal
feed industry in the US. Major emphasis will be placed
on exploring and establishing a basis for serving the
industry in Russia and the Middle East.
We plan to create, through additional acquisitions, a
network of companies that can operate first on a national
basis and then on an international basis. We have taken
initiatives…. We will place a major emphasis….
Unclear Antecedents
Too many pronouns can make
the antecedent unclear.
Children are born with billions of neurons in their
brains, but in order for them to be connected
properly they need to be touched and talked to
extensively by their parents.
Unclear Antecedents
Too many nouns can make
the antecedent unclear.
The presence of disulfide bonds in oligopeptides
may restrict the formation of ordered structures in
sodium dodecyl sulfate solution. Once they are
reduced, the predicted conformation can be fully
induced.
Laboratory animals are not susceptible to these
diseases, so research on them is hampered.
Misplaced Modifiers
Put limiting modifiers in front of
(ie, before) the words they modify.
You will only need to plant one package of seed.
(no other needs)
You will need only to plant one package of seed.
(not water, fertilize, etc)
You will need to plant only one package of seed.
(no more than that)
Misplaced Modifiers
Only medication can ease the pain.
Medication can only ease the pain.
Medication can ease only the pain.
Misplaced Modifiers
Susan almost ate the whole chicken.
(This means she didn’t eat it.)
Susan ate almost the whole chicken.
Misplaced Modifiers
The robber was described as a six-foot-tall man
with a heavy mustache weighing 150 pounds.
Dumpy and overweight, the vet says our dog
needs more exercise.
Dangling and Misplaced Participles
General rules:
A participle is a verb form used as an adjective.
Because participles are adjectives, they must
modify a noun or a pronoun.
If the participial phrase does not modify the noun
closest to it, it is misplaced.
Dangling and Misplaced Participles
General rules:
When a participial phrase introduces a
sentence, the expectation is that it will modify
the subject of the sentence, which usually
comes immediately after the introductory phrase.
A dangling participle occurs when the sentence
contains no word that the participial phrase can
logically modify.
Dangling Participles
Reaching the heart, a bypass was
performed on the blocked arteries.
What reached the heart?
Before beginning an exercise program after
a heart attack, a physician should review the
program carefully.
While designed primarily to screen for
fumonisins, other compounds have been
assayed.
Misplaced Participles
When completely dissected, the assistant pulls up
the seminal vesicles with a grasper and the rest of
the dissection is carried out in the same way.
Contingent on grant funding, the researcher also
plans an add-on study, in which the effectiveness of
a manualized behavioral therapy regimen would be
tested in the same children (with prior parental
permission); however, that add-on study is not
currently before the IRB for approval.
Problems with Comparisons
Overuse and misuse of compared to/with
When a comparative term is used (greater,
bigger), it should be accompanied by
“than,” not by “compared to/with”
Problems with Comparisons
The time to tumor recurrence was significantly
(p=0.02) shorter for patients with MFH compared
to those with Ewing sarcoma.
We determined that combination therapy with
these two agents significantly decreased the rate
of disease progression compared to ifosfamide
alone.
Problems with Comparisons
Comparison of unlike things
These results are similar to
previous studies.
Similar to other clinical trials, we
found that the two-year survival
rate was 75%.
Parallelism
Parallelism is repetition of structure.
Parallel ideas:
Ideas that are equal in logic and importance
(alike or contrasting)
Should be expressed in similar structures
(parallel form), either as a pair or as a series
Results of parallelism:
Makes the ideas easier to understand
Makes the writing more concise
Parallelism
Conjunctions indicate coordinate status,
but they are not always present (and
sometimes are misapplied).
both . . . and
either . . . or
neither . . . nor
not only . . . but also
Parallelism
If planned properly and carefully measured, this flap
will reach as high as the eustachian tube.
Problem: The conjunction suggests a parallel
construction, but corresponding words are not
placed correspondingly (ie, they are not expressed
in similar structures).
How to fix? Rearrange sentence elements:
planned properly and measured carefully or
properly planned and carefully measured
Parallelism
People started on any of these three
medications need to have their blood
pressures checked regularly and their
kidney function carefully monitored.
checked regularly and monitored carefully
OR
regularly checked and carefully monitored
Parallelism
Anesthesia was induced with ketamine by
infusion and maintained by inhalation of
halothane and oxygen.
Anesthesia was induced by infusion of
ketamine and maintained by inhalation of
halothane and oxygen.
Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses
Also called essential/nonessential and
definining/nondefining
Restrictive modifiers provide meaning
essential to the meaning of the sentence.
Every man who does that should be jailed.
Restrictive or nonrestrictive?
Meaning: We don’t want to jail every man, just the
ones who do that.
Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses
Nonrestrictive modifiers provide additional
meaning, but not essential meaning.
Every official, including the highest, will be there.
How to tell? If the clause within the commas is
removed and the sentence maintains the same
meaning, the clause is nonrestrictive.
Every man, who does that, should be jailed.
=
Every man should be jailed.
Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses
What about “that” and “which”?
Use “that” to introduce restrictive or
essential clauses.
Use “which” to introduce nonrestrictive or
nonessential clauses, and set the clause
off by commas.
Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses
Commas, which cut out the fat,
Go with which, never with that.
Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses
Employees will receive a bill from management
for those deductions which must be paid in
dollars.
What is meant – that all the deductions must be
paid in dollars, or that employees will be billed
for whatever deductions must be paid in dollars?
Oral drugs are indicated in the management of
diabetes mellitus (which or that) cannot be
treated with diet alone.
Sentence Structure
Goals:
Clear
Concise
Readable
Understandable
Sentence Structure
Optional Exercise:
Dogs treated with the test drug and conventional
therapy had a better quality of life as
characterized by a lessened degree of heart
failure and increased exercise capacity
manifested by improved mobility when
compared with dogs treated with the vehicle
tablets and conventional therapy.