Transcript Caregiving for a loved one

Caregiving for a loved one
is a role that no one signs up for
or plans for
Pam Kelberg, MSSW, LSW
267- 259-8077
[email protected]
• Psychotherapist: Caregivers, Couples, Anxiety
• Caregiver for my mother
• Founder & Co-Chairperson
Race for Hope-Philadelphia, 2006, 2007, 2008,
2009, 2010
Some Statistics
• Each year approximately 190,000 people
in the United States will be diagnosed with
a primary or metastatic brain tumor
• In PA in 2007 2,300 people were
diagnosed with a brain tumor.
• 120 different types of brain tumors
Caregivers and Patients
• The emotions that arise for caregivers may
be similar to the emotions the patient may
be feeling.
Emotions both caregivers and
patients may feel
•
Guilt
•
Anger
•
Hope
•
Fear and Confusion
GUILT
• Patients may feel guilty watching the caregiver
take care of what used to be shared tasks or
responsibilities (like parenting tasks, household
tasks- paying the bills-driving, cooking, dressing,
etc.)
• Caregiver- can also feel guilty that they are
ABLE to continue such tasks while patient is no
longer able( like walk briskly through the mall
doing errands, writing, memory functions, going
to work)
ANGER
• Patient may feel angry at the disease/loss
of health, at the doctors, others, G-d.
• Caregivers may feel angry at the disease/
loss of health, the way the disease is
effecting the loved one, the change of
roles in the family, others, G-d.
HOPE /FAITH
• A dominate emotion that we all have.
• Helps us be strong, determined and
resilient.
• The meaning and perspective on life may
be informed by our hope.
• Relationships are cherished and
understood in different ways.
Stress and Caregiving
•
Stress occurs even for the “best”
caregivers
•
Stress can manifest as physical and
emotional symptoms
•
Stress can lead to feeling isolated and
alone which can acerbate more stress
Warning Signs of Caregiver Stress
•
Signs may include irritability, sleep
problems, forgetfulness, inability to
concentrate, feeling depleted.
•
Recognize warning signs early.
•
Know your own warning signs, and act to
make changes. Don't wait until you are
overwhelmed.
• Identify what you can and cannot change. Ask
yourself, "What do I have some control over?
What can I change?" Even a small change can
make a big difference. The challenge we face as
caregivers is well expressed in words from the
Serenity Prayer:
…Grant me the serenity to
Accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Is It OK To Care For Myself?
• YES! You DESERVE IT AND IT IS
NECESSARY!
Common Questions Asked:
• How can I possibly think of myself? Am I being
selfish?
• If I don’t do it, no one else will do as good a job.
• If I take a break for myself, does that mean I am
not caring enough?
• Caregivers need self-care
Stress Reducers
• Taking some action to reduce stress gives
us back a sense of control.
• Identify some stress reducers that work for
you.
How Can I Reduce Stress?
• Stress reducers can be activities like:
• Walk for 20 minutes/day
• Take some time to tend to yourself with a
shower/bath, give yourself a manicure
• Seek “you” time AND support- attend
psychotherapy, support group, have coffee with
a friend, seek interactive support online
• Practice meditation/relaxation/mindfulness –
breathing exercises
When Respite Is Needed
• Listen to yourself. When needed take a
temporary break.
• Seek support from other family members
or friends and ask them to help out for a
few hours or as needed
• Seek outside respite care from a nursing
agency, in-home care agencies, adult day
services.
Advocating & Navigating Medical
Needs
•
Prepare questions ahead of time. Make a list of your most important concerns and problems.
•
Enlist the help of the nurse. Many caregiving questions relate more to nursing than to medicine.
•
Make sure your appointment meets your needs. Example: A good time of the day for you.
•
Take someone with you. A companion can ask questions you feel uncomfortable asking and can
•
Use assertive communication and "I" messages. Enlist the medical care team as partners in care.
Issues you might want to discuss with the physician are changes in symptoms, medications or
general health of the care recipient, your own comfort in your caregiving situation, or specific help
you need to provide care.
In particular, the nurse can answer questions about various tests and examinations, preparing for
surgical procedures, providing personal care, and managing medications at home.
help you remember what the physician and nurse said.
Present what you need, what your concerns are, and how the doctor and/or nurse can help. Use
specific, clear "I" statements like the following: "I need to know more about the diagnosis; I will feel
better prepared for the future if I know what's in store for me." Or "I am feeling rundown. I'd like to
make an appointment for myself and my husband next week."
Summary
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Learn and use stress-reduction techniques.
Attend to your own healthcare needs.
Get proper rest and nutrition.
Exercise regularly.
Take time off without feeling guilty.
Participate in pleasant, nurturing activities.
Seek and accept the support of others.
Seek supportive counseling when you need it, or
talk to a trusted counselor or friend.
• Identify and acknowledge your feelings.
RACE FOR HOPE-PHILADELPHIA
6000
5000
4000
# Participants
# Teams
3000
2000
1000
0
2006
2007
2008