Transcript Dating and Marriage - Classroom Websites

Dating
• What is dating to you?
• Now in groups of 1-4- use each persons
definition to come up with a general
definition of dating.
• Groups will designate one person to share
to the class.
• Are the definitions similar in idea?
Dating
• Dating is a form of courtship, and may
include any social activity undertaken by,
typically, two people with the aim of each
assessing the other's suitability as their
partner in an intimate relationship or as a
spouse.
• The word refers to the act of meeting and
engaging in some mutually agreed upon
social activity. Traditional dating activities
include entertainment or a meal.
Dating
• When two people are attracted
to each other- they might begin to spend
time together to get to know each other.
• A date can be anything from going to the
football game on Friday night together, or
going out to a movie and dinner.
• These days, even friends can have a
“date” night
How Often Do We Date?
A majority of Americans age 18 and older
either are dating or would like to be. Dating
has declined among people under age 18,
but 24% of high school seniors say they
date frequently. How we meet people and
what we call dating has changed over the
years.
Why Do We Date?
• Sociologists consider dating a marriage market
in which the participants look at the assets and
liabilities in each partner and decide which is the
best for what they have to offer.
• Dating fulfills a number of specific functions that
vary according to a person’s age, social class,
and gender. Functions may be manifest or
latent.
Manifest Functions of Dating
•
•
•
•
•
Maturation
Fun and recreation
Companionship
Love and affection
Mate selection
Latent Functions of Dating
•
•
•
•
Socialization
Social status
Fulfillment of ego needs
Sexual experimentation and intimacy
Dating through history
Ancient Courtship
• In ancient times, many of the first
marriages were by capture, not choice men raided other villages for wives.
• Frequently the tribe from which a warrior
stole a bride would come looking for her,
and it was necessary for the warrior and
his new wife to go into hiding to avoid
being discovered.
• Arranged marriages were the norm
Medieval Chivalry
• During medieval times, the importance of
love in a relationship emerged as a reaction
to arranged marriages.
• Suitors wooed their intended with
serenades and flowery poetry, following
the lead of lovelorn characters on stage
and in verse.
• Chastity and honor were highly regarded
virtues.
• In 1228, women first gained the right to
propose marriage in Scotland, a legal right
that then slowly spread through Europe.
Chastity Belt
Courtship Customs & Tokens of Love
• In Norway when a girl came of age, her father let it
be known that she was available for marriage. The
girl would wear an empty sheath on her belt. If a
suitor liked the girl, he would put a knife in the
sheath, which the girl now wore as a sign that she
was betrothed.
• The custom of bundling, found in many parts of
16th and 17th century Europe and America,
allowed courting couples to share a bed, fully
clothed, and often with a "bundling board"
between them or bolster cover tied over the girls
legs. The idea was to allow the couple to talk and
get to know each other but in the safe (and warm)
confines of the girl's house.
Courtship from Colonial Times to 1830
• In Colonial times, marriage was clearly encouraged. In fact,
bachelor's were many times harassed, fined or run out of
town.
• The ability to support a wife and family was very important. It
was seen as the single most important basis for the timing of
marriage.
• Similar social standing and family approval were also
important. Love was something that developed after the
marriage, not before, as a natural outgrowth of the
commitment to marriage.
• Young people spent nearly a decade choosing a marriage
partner. They would meet in church, the neighborhood and at
home.
• Young people got together in mixed-sex groups, young
couples could spend time alone walking, riding, or in the
parlor.
Courtship from 1830-1880
• During the 19th Century, the idea of the
"separate spheres" of men and women began to
take control.
• A woman's nature was virtuous and angelic; she
was the moral superior to the man.
• This separation also limited the ability of
adolescent boys and girls to get to know one
another.
• At puberty, girls entered the "female world" and
boys in the "male world." Permission to marry
was sought many times after the engagement
Victorian Formality
• During the Victorian Era (1837-1901), romantic love
became viewed as the primary requirement for
marriage and courting became even more formal almost an art form among the upper classes.
•
An interested gentleman could not simply walk up to
a young lady and begin a conversation. Even after
being introduced, it was still some time before it was
considered appropriate for a man to speak to a lady or
for a couple to be seen together.
• Once they had been formally introduced, if the
gentleman wished to escort the lady home he would
present his card to her.
• At the end of the evening the lady
would look over her options and chose
who would be her escort. She would
notify the lucky gentleman by giving
him her own card requesting that he
escort her home.
• Almost all courting took place in the
girl's home, always under the eye of
watchful parents.
• If the courting progressed, the couple
might advance to the front porch.
Smitten couples rarely saw each other
without the presence of a chaperone,
and marriage proposals were frequently
written.
Dating Today
From Newspaper to
the Internet
•
Internet dating is the modern version of the first “matrimonial”
agencies of the 1700’s
•
First major internet dating websites combination of Kiss.com and
Match.com, both registered by the same person in 1994 & 1995
• Other dating sites at the time but were more focused on international dating
and “mail order bride” services
•
The online dating market quickly exploded
• AOL and Yahoo revamped their personals/dating section due to the
popularity of online dating
• By 1996 there were 16 dating websites listed
Yahoo
in
• Yahoo was a directory at the time
• The 1998 movie “You got mail”
put a positive light on meeting people online
• Online dating still thriving, Americans spent over $500
million on online dating in 2007
• Expected to increase to $932 million in 2011
• Online dating is the 2nd highest industry for
content on the web
paid
How Does it Work?
Step 1: Pick a site of your
interest
Step 2: Create a
profile
Step 3: Make
contact
Pros & Cons
Choices
Men out #
women
Same
Interests
Mis-representation
Rejection
Reduction
“You’re
Married!!??”
Getting to know
each other before
physical interaction
Scam
Artists
Dangers
•
•
•
•
•
•
Fraud
Security and Privacy
Stalking
Physical Assault
Identity Theft
Exposure to Offensive Material
Play It Safe
• Plan first dates in public areas
• Make sure your friends know
where you are on dates
• Ask a lot of detailed questions
• NEVER send money to someone online
• Keep your information to a minimum
Contemporary Dating
• Much casual and usually happens in groups.
Teenagers these days “hang out.”
• “Getting together” is more intimate and
structured than hanging out. The specifics are
more spontaneous.
• “Hooking up” is a little more serious and usually
involves a physical encounter. It is a vague term
and can mean anything from kissing to having
sex.
Dating around the world
• In Australia, girls often ask boys out on dates and pay for
everything.
• In European countries, teenagers often go out on group dates.
• Dating is actually forbidden in Iran and also very rare in
Afghanistan. Boys and girls are kept separate until they are ready
to be married and then their parents do the introductions.
• Japanese and Korean individuals usually do not begin
dating until they are in college.
• In Brazil, group dates are not common at all. People tend to date
much longer before they get married.
• In China, dating usually does not begin until an individual is in their
twenties. Chinese singles usually only date one or two people
before they get married. There are also still instances of arranged
marriages.
• In most Asian countries it is customary for young
people to remain at home until they are married and
often a newlywed couple will live with one set of
parents for awhile after they are married.
• In Kiev, women do not like to shake hands. They think
that it is not feminine. A woman will hold onto a man’s
arm when they are out on a date instead of holding his
hand.
• Relationships and marriage are important in all
cultures, but the actual act of dating varies greatly
depending on where you live.