Transcript On Becoming Male: Reflections of a Sociologist on

Notes on “On Becoming Male:
Reflections of a Sociologist on
Childhood and Early
Socialization” by James M.
Henslin.
This article is dated and does
not accurately reflect
today’s world but you
should ask yourself how
much of what the author
points out is still reflected in
today’s world.
According to Henslin where do most
sociologists stand on the “nature
versus nurture” debate, as it relates
to sex/gender roles?
Most sociologists believe that
what constitutes “masculinity and
femininity” are largely learned.
To say that gender roles are
largely learned is really redundant
because any role is by definition
learned.
What does Henslin mean when he
writes our sexuality is part of our
social inheritance?
The author believes that “our
orientations and how we
behave as a male and a
female-does not depend on
biology but on social
learning.”
What does the author mean by the
phrase “culture, not anatomy is our
destiny?”
This is a statement
of cultural
determinism.
According to the author, how do
parents react to the different sex
organs of their children and what
impact does it have?
Parent’s reaction to the sexual organs of
their children is the beginning of
gender role socialization. Parents tend
to be excited (“either happy or
disappointed”) about the fact that their
new child is either a boy or a girl.
From birth children are learning that
gender matters.
According to Henslin how do our parents
“push us onto a predetermined course?”
Parents “both consciously and
subconsciously, separate us into
two worlds. Wittingly and
unwittingly, they thereby launch
us onto a career that will
encompass almost every aspect of
our lives.”
Henslin points out that by
the toys they allow
children to play with, and
the clothes they dress
children in, they push
them onto “a
predetermined course.”
According to Henslin how do boys
learn the “boundaries of tolerance?”
 By continually testing and pushing the
limits until they are in fact punished,
boys learn the “boundaries of
tolerance.” Boys learn that these
boundaries vary depending on the
situation. They also learn that these
boundaries are not really what they are
told but what they are really held
accountable to.
Do you agree with
Henslin’s analysis that
only boys figure out
what “real” boundaries
are and then push
these boundaries to the
limit?
In relationship to freedom how do
the worlds of boys and girls differ
according to Henslin?
Henslin believes that much more
freedom is tolerated for boys than
for girls. Girls are held to much
tighter standards. (Again
remember this might have changed
over time, but do the different
standards of freedom still exist
even if not as great?)
According to Henslin how do boys
learn to “deny, to avoid, to tell half
truths” etc.?

Because deception allows boys
to avoid punishment, and most
of all the restraint of their
prized freedoms, they learn to
“deny, to avoid, to tell half
truths.”
What is “that savage fact of
life” the author writes about
on page 87?
 The “savage fact of life” that the
author believes boys are
completely unaware of is that
nothing in adulthood will compare
to the freedom and sense of
adventure they experience as being
boys.
What problem do “tomboys”
present to boys?
 “Tomboys” encroach and erode sexual
boundaries.
 How do they deal with the problem?
 By excluding tomboys from some
activities boys let the girls know that
there are “irrevocable” differences
between the worlds of boys and girls.
According to Henslin how do
boys react to “sissies?”
Boys will treat sissies as
inhumanly as possible.
 Why
So that they are not considered
“true boys” and thus don’t blur
the boundaries of their world.
How and why does puberty
present a “shock” to the roles
boys have learned?
Puberty tends to shock boys
because all of the sudden they
start to become attracted to girls
who had before this time been
from another planet. They have
been socialized to despise the
world of girls and now they are
attracted to girls.
Why does the author feel the “new
sexuality” boys learn in puberty
forces them eventually into
artificiality and hypocrisy?
 In order to obtain the favor of these girls
they have only recently found attractive,
they must learn new roles, which are
completely unnatural to them. All roles in
reality are unnatural but because they have
played the boy role so long it FEELS
natural.
Playing roles they
really don’t enjoy, just
in order to win the
favor of girls forces
boys into artificiality
and hypocrisy.
Why does Henslin think it is
difficult for men and women
to relate?
 The author believes that by the time
boys become interested in girls they
have already become fundamentally
formed and that is why the old boy
roles feel “natural” and the new roles
they take on to gain favor with girls are
so difficult for them.
To gain the favor of girls
boys must be politer, more
considerate, and gentle all of
which are contrary to what
they have previously
learned. The new roles
make boys and eventually
men “awkward strangers to
themselves.”
What does the author mean
when he says “we have
always been actors?”
boys have always been
actors because all roles
are learned and thus
must be “acted” out.
Why does he feel the “new”
role is more difficult for men?
 The new roles simply are not as
comfortable because they were not
learned in the formative years of
early youth and thus never feel
quite as natural as those roles
learned in early youth.
According to Henslin how are men
forced to live in two contradictory
worlds?
 The desire men have to win the favor
of women forces them into two
contradictory worlds. One is the world
of men in which they feel comfortable
and one is the world of women and
men together, in which they learn to
feel more comfortable over time, but
one in which they are never feel
completely natural.
The author points out that the
intersexual game men are
forced to play actually teaches
them to be quite manipulative.
They learn that certain types of
behaviors are required to gain
certain types of rewards and
they become quite effective at
playing and manipulating these
roles.
The author believes that the
socialization process results
in men becoming a
“specifically differentiated
type of being.” He believes
that men and women have a
fundamental difference in
thinking and orientations to
life, which are in sharp
contrast.
Why is marriage a “crucible of
struggle?”
 In marriage men and women “are
expected to unite permanently with
someone from this contradispositional
world and, in spite of [their] essential
differences, not only to share a life
space but also to join [their] goals,
hopes, dreams and aspirations.
As a result of this
communion of individuals
from completely different
worlds “men remain
strangers to women, women
to men, and marriage is a
crucible of struggle.”