Transcript Week 6 - daniel e gregory

“Marriage isn’t fifty-fifty. It is more
like 75-75, 100-100, or probably
110-110.”
Elnora dePetris
but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail;
whether there be tongues, they shall cease;
whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish
away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in
part. But when that which is perfect is come,
then that which is in part shall be done away.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I
understood as a child, I thought as a child: but
when I became a man, I put away childish
things. For now we see through a glass, darkly;
but then face to face: now I know in part; but
then shall I know even as also I am known.
And now abideth faith, hope, I charity,
these
Corinthians 13:8b-13 (KJV)
But where there are prophecies, they will cease;
where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where
there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in
part and we prophesy in part, but when
completeness comes, what is in part
disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a
child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood
behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in
a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I
know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am
fully known. And now these three remain: faith,
I Corinthians 13:8b-13 (NIV)
hope and love. But the greatest of
these is love.
Communication
Read chapter 9 before Wednesday. Be ready to
discuss in class the rest of the week. Discussion
points!
Chapter 9: Caring Enough to Communicate
•What advantages/risks is there to you knowing
your own personality profile? What of your
partner? (particularly in the area of
communication—our focus)
•What are the various “realms” of communication
between people?
•What are some practical suggestions for
communication (think love language/MI) between
people?
•Why might it be important to seek to understand
someone before trying to communicate with them?
•What are other communication issues in
relationships?
WOMEN:
MEN:
Communication patterns - humor
Communication patterns
– implications for intimacy
Men and women just think/see things
differently. Humor helps!
5 Temperament Needs
5 Love Language Needs
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http://www.danielegregory.info
Journaling
1. Research “relationship ratios”
(start with
the 4 articles i provide) and provide a
summary/reflection of the information.
EXAMPLE: what is the basic info. What
implications for relationships (note that
this includes business, casual, etc) can
be learned. What habits might you need
to begin practicing? What
communication patterns do you already
do? Other insights . . .
Relationships start with seeking to understand,
which must begin with really listening which has
to assume a basis of care which can only happen
with trust in the other person’s intentions for good
Faith in the other person makes a difference
Unity is just that:
U n I Together?: Yes!
Problems get solved when everyone
acknowledges and uses their gifts for the
benefit of all
Journaling
1. Using the material in your textbook as a
guide, what rules for communication
were either followed or broken in the
clips we saw? What patterns of
communication have you seen modelled
in your own home? What might you plan
to differently in your future home?
1. Write a reaction/process/summary of the
communication patterns needed for
temperaments, MBJT, 5LL and others.
“Because that’s what intimacy is: it’s
a willingness to be vulnerable, a
willingness to bite my tongue and a
willingness to set an example of
what I believe in.”
Diane Lane
Vulnerability is not a weakness
What are the questions Dr. Brown suggests are the 2 most
dangerous questions?
a) Who is at fault?
b) What should i fear?
c) What will i do with my life?
What is a mentality of “scarcity” culture?
a) Never EXTRAORDINARY enough
b) Never HAPPY enough
c) Never GOOD enough
What are the “normal” ways we cope with scarcity?
a) Armor up
b) Drugs & alcohol
c) Surrender (to a higher power)
Empathy . . .
a) Fuels connection
b) Is feeling for someone
c) Is feeling with someone
Sympathy . . .
a) Is where you connect with someone
b) Drives dis-connection
c) Is feeling for someone
Dr. Brown’s definition of blame?
a) Holding someone accountable for what has happened
b) Discharging of discomfort and pain (anger)
c) Gives the ILLUSION of control
What one response is NOT a helpful response
a) “at least . . .”
b) “wow, that must be . . .”
c) “———” (nothing)
Describe her distinction of empathy vs sympathy in the
“well” example
How might these insights be integrated with what you
know about personalities/temperaments/gender roles?
Group yourselves:
Question 1:
If you could, would you rather live
in a boat or a tree house?
Question 2:
What are the best ways for parents
to show their children they love
them?
Question 3:
What’s the hardest thing you’ve
ever done?
Question 4:
What personality trait has gotten
you in the most trouble?
What men don’t understand
What women don’t understand