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Communication
Developing Interpersonal
skills!
What are the Most Important principles of
good interpersonal communication ?
Dennis Rivers, M.A identifies
Seven Challenging Skills for a
lifetime of better communication in
work, family, friendship &
community.
Challenge One: Listening more
carefully and more responsively
Acknowledge the
feelings and wants
that others are
expressing  Compassionately
allow people to feel
whatever they feel

Challenge Two: Explain my
conversational intent &inviting consent

Use conversational
openers such as,
"Right now I would
like to take a few
minutes and ask
you about...
[subject].
Good communicators explain
intent / inviting consent

Start important
conversations by
saying things such
as:


“Hi, Steve. I need
to ask for your
help on my project.
Got a minute to
talk about it?“
“Uh...Maria, do you
have a minute?
Right now I'd
like to talk to you
about... Is that
OK?"
Good Communicators Explain
Intent / Inviting Consent
Examples:



“Hello there, Mr. Sanchez. Say, uh...I'm
not completely comfortable about this job.
Can we talk about it for a few minutes?"
“Well, sit down for a minute and let me
tell you what happened..."
"Hi, Jerry, this is Mike. How ya doin'? I
want to talk to you about Fred. He's in jail
again. Is this a good
Challenge Three
EXPRESSING YOURSELF MORE
CLEARLY & COMPLETELY


Give listeners the
information they
need to understand
(mentally
reconstruct)
experiences.
Use "I-messages":
Challenge Four: Translating my
criticisms and complaints into
requests
Translating my criticisms and
complaints into requests

Translate your (and
other people's)
complaints and
criticisms into specific
requests, and explain
your requests, in
order to get more
cooperation from
others.
“We criticize people
for not giving us
what we ourselves
are afraid to ask
for."

Marshall Rosenberg
Challenge Five: Ask questions
more "open-endedly" and more
creatively.

You can encourage
your conversation
partners to share
more of their
thoughts and
feelings by asking
"open-ended"
rather than
"yes/no" questions
Challenge Five: Ask questions
more "open-endedly" and more
creatively.
 For
example, asking "How did you
like that food/movie/speech/doctor,
etc.?" will evoke a more detailed
response than "Did you like it?"
(which could be answered with a
simple "yes" or "no").
ChallengeSix
EXPRESSING MORE
APPRECIATION, GRATITUDE,
ENCOURAGEMENT AND DELIGHT
ChallengeSix
EXPRESSING MORE APPRECIATION,
GRATITUDE,
ENCOURAGEMENT AND DELIGHT
In a world full of
problems, look for
opportunities to give
praise. Both at home
& at work, it is the
bond of appreciation
that makes
relationships strong
enough to allow for
problem-solving.
Challenge Seven: Making the
effort...
Make better
communication an
important part of
my everyday life...
 See each
conversation as an
opportunity to
grow in skill,
awareness and
compassion.

Practice Communication Skills
Words and Gestures

You can get your message across by
what you do or say- with words,
gestures, eye contact, posture,
facial expression, tone of voice,
action – and also by what you don’t
do or say.
The Spoken Message:
How it Comes Across
Vocal
38%
Physical
55%
Verbal
7%
Communication Messages
Classified As:
 Verbal
: Words (word meanings),
Vocal (speech-tone of voice)
OR
 Non-Verbal
:Body language
(physical, facial expression and body
position)
MIXED MESSAGES
Ideally, verbal and no-verbal messages
should be saying the same thing. If words
say one thing and body language another,
it confuses the listener.
 Sometimes mixed messages are
intentional. When someone says
something positive but deliberately sends
a negative message, this is called
Sarcasm.
