Transcript C Life Topology - Redesigning Your Life

REDESIGNING YOUR LIFE
The Structure of Time Orientations
and Restructuring Your Places
Altering Your Affiliations, Relationships, and Roles
and Recreating Your Inner Self
copyright, Ed Young, PhD 11-1-1999
173
Structured Time and The Pace of Places:
Restlessness, Anxiety, Anger, Depression and Adrenaline
Vs. Boredom, Despair and Serotonin
I. Domains are place and time related. People go to work, play, families, and support/control
institutions at regular, specified times in regular, specified places. Domains involve types of
activities and call for specific behaviors, each with their characteristic rules and expectations.
II. Time and place of domains conspire together to elicit or trigger habit patterns.
III. Points of origin [families] establish early patterns of ‘life pace’ and behavioral repertoires.
IV. Point of origin patterns do not always correspond to the expectations and demands of life’s
other domains. When a person’s customary way of structuring time and customary pace of life
are out of sync with a domain, the person tends to react with emotion. For example, a required
faster pace can induce anxiety and a slower pace can induce boredom and the person could
also get angry or sleepy. A boring activity makes time seem to drag.
V. Over an extended period of time, the person either adjusts to the differences, causes trouble,
develops symptoms of physical or emotional illness, transfers, resigns, or is fired. Typically,
neither the person themselves, nor persons in charge are aware of the source of the difficulty,
each blaming the other as in some sense the cause of the problem. In some cases the misfitting person blames themselves and feels guilt or despair.
VI. The productive way to address the issue is to recognize the mismatch and its sources in the
work structure and themselves and work out plan to consciously adjust to the demands of the
domain’s characteristics or to matriculate a switch to a route and plan more compatible to the
person’s patterns. With minimal room for choices, service/control institutions are typically less
accommodating. With respect to recreation and social organizations, choices are available and
up to the person. The problem is that the person’s patterns are fixed and unconscious so that,
even here, making changes is extremely difficult.
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Exploring Your Relations to Time,
Your Comfortable Pace, and Feelings Accompanying Time Issues
I. Being unaware that one’s life pace is a factor in adjustments to life, it is necessary to step back
and study how one’s pace differs from others, when a pace is comfortable or uncomfortable,
when there is a mismatch between one’s habitual life pace and the normative pace of a domain
and activity. Like so many other aspects of one’s life that are shaped by one’s early life history,
this too is an ‘accident of history’ that you continue to play out the rest of your life. But, also,
like those other aspects, you are not incapable of altering you ‘life pace’. Like other habits, even
though you become aware of them, they are stubborn and require great resolve and persistence
to be changed.
II. Outside of structured domains and situations, you are free to follow your traditional pace. You
can engage in a high degree or little or no time and pace structuring. There is nothing to compel
you to change this pattern.
III. All you have to do is enter a relationship in which you are doing a large number of activities
together and you can immediately sense the difficulty with the “sync” between the two of you.
Making schedules, showing up at appointed times, coordinating time-dependent tasks,
estimating lengths of time things should take, attempting to negotiate and allocate future time
that involves the other, meeting deadlines that have consequences for the other, and numerous
other aspects of time management can become huge points of conflict for both or for one and
insignificant for the other. Initially, the issue typically appears to both parties to a matter of
disagreement over ‘how it should be done’. Later in the relationship it comes to be seen as
defect in the other. Feelings over this issue can become extremely intense. It is seldom
perceived and understood as a compelling ‘life pace’ that had been shaped by early history,
unconscious, and yet intransigent.
IV.Once you become aware of your ‘life pace’ and how it was shaped and aware of the magnitude of
the challenge to change, it is possible to make pace alterations in relationships and adjust to a
domain’s requirements. Success requires persistence over a very long period of ‘time’.
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Assessing and Restructuring Your Relation to Time
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Circumstances of Life and Parameters of Situations and Their Role in
Inducing Moods and Emotions and in
Maintaining Personality and Behavior Patterns
1. When a person has a conscious or unconscious commitment to living a certain type of life in certain
circumstances or conditions and this is made impossible or radically changes for better or worse.
2. When a person needs to maintain certain characteristics in their various relationships and these radically
change.
3. When a person needs a certain place in life, or status level, and suddenly it is radically dropped or elevated.
4. When a person needs to maintain a certain self concept or image and situations or circumstances arise that
threaten it and there is no way out.
5. When a certain style of life is expected of a person, especially in view of the person’s background, and
events make it impossible or drive one into a radically different style.
6. When one is unexpectedly faced with events, situations, or circumstances similar to ones that were
traumatic in the past.
7. When one is accustomed to a certain familiar type of support system and it is suddenly withdrawn.
8. When one is suddenly thrust out of familiar surroundings into radically different, unfamiliar surroundings.
9. When one faces the type of moral dilemma that means to keep some important values requires violating
others of equal importance.
10. When something or someone one had innocently and deeply trusted to be a certain way is suddenly
revealed to be quite the contrary.
11. When one has goals that are vitally important and time and circumstances seem to be making it impossible.
12. When the outcome of the activity one is engaged in turns out to be far better or far worse than one had
anticipated.
13. When the role or activity one is thrust into is one for which one is completely inappropriate or unprepared..
copyright, Ed Young, PhD 11-1-1999
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Exploring Your Life Circumstances and Related Moods and Redesigning Your
Response Strategy
copyright, Ed Young, PhD 11-1-1999
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The Struggle to Overcome Fate
When Life’s Dreams, Goals, Plans, Choices, and Patterns
Are Not Working and Not Turning Out As Expected
and You Can’t Seem to Break Out
I. Redesigning the Topology of Your Life: Your Domains, Routes, Paths, and
Patterns for Self Enhancement
II. Change in Places Within Domains and Routes
III. Change in Paths and Patterns
1.
2.
3.
4.
Informal and Formal Roles
Relationships
Communication Patterns
Inner Processes
1. Detecting and Changing Internal Patterns of Perception, Levels of Assessment, States of
Incorporation, Envisioning, Decision Making, Adventuring, Mirroring, Revising, Storing.
2. Detecting and Changing Personal Criteria for Fulfillment in All Critical Areas of Your Life.
IV. Experimenting With Tentative Alternatives With Respect to Places and
Paths and Patterns Within Places.
V. Practicing and Revising Changed Choices and Patterns
VI. Accomplishing this goal of redesigning the topology of your life
requires extraordinary dedication, courage, and persistence.
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Approaching the Question of Making Changes in the
Topography of Your Life
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I. A Worksheet for Re-routing the Topographical
Features of Your Life
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II. A Worksheet for Proposing Alternative Strategies for Coping With
Uncomfortable Situations
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Examining the Characteristics of Your Communication Style
Mapping Communication Interaction by Places and People With Whom You Interact
Examining Your Communication Style Characteristics:
1. Who initiates the communication? Under what circumstances? Who controls the participants?
2. Who controls the rhythm of the communication, whether there is reciprocity of listening and talking or
imbalance with one talking and one listening? Is there a battle for the ‘floor’? Are there signals that
indicate turn taking?
3. Who selects the topic? Is there an explicit purpose for initiating the communication? Does the
communication seem more related to a topic or the relationship?
4. Are different perspectives allowed or offered? Is one party in control of the perspective?
5. What is the level of the communication and who controls the level? Is it serious or casual? Do the
parties seem in sync concerning the level?
6. Does the communication involve emotions? Are the emotions expressed by body language or voice
characteristics? Who injects the emotion? Does the other party follow suit emotionally? Does the
emotionality accelerate or decelerate? Is considerateness and politeness reciprocated? Is negativity
reciprocated?
7. What is the degree of transparency and empathy? Is there reciprocity or imbalance with respect to
transparency and empathy and, if imbalance, in which direction?
8. Does the communication involve covert or implicit messages or innuendo? If so, from whom? What is
your hypothesis about why there are is parallel, covert communication? Does the covert communication
include body language? When did the implicit communication begin? Does one party or the other seem
to be expecting the other to just know or properly infer the implicit message?
9. Does the communication involve paradoxical or contradictory messages: e.g. saying ‘yes’ and acting or
inflecting ’no’? Which party is engaging in paradoxical communicating? What is your hypothesis about
why this is taking place?
10. Is one party, or both, requesting or demanding a response or change in the other or each other?
11. Is each communication incident unique or are they repetitive? Are the participants enacting stereotyped
roles, as though repetitively restaging a play or scenario?
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Exploring Your Generalized Communication Pattern
copyright, Ed Young, PhD 11-1-1999
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Communication Patterns and Skills in Specific Domains, Settings, Situations,
and Types of Relationships
•
Check the items below that are the most difficult for you and the rank their importance for your current self
enhancement. Select the top priority item and begin working on what your pattern is, what the alternatives are, where
and with whom the problem is most in evidence. Plan a different way of communicating and then imagine being in the
setting and confronting the situation. Rehearse the alternative you are going to attempt. Record what happened when
you met that actual situation and the degree of success in using your new communication.
•
Patterned Communication Skills in Normally Occurring Situations within Domain-Specific Settings
•
___ Casual conversation/joking.
___ Threat/danger/crises.
___ Teaching/learning.
•
___ Affiliation/acquainting/ending
___ Accidents.
___ Problem solving.
•
___ Influence/manipulation.
___ Barriers.
___ Planning.
•
___ Command/prohibition.
___ Competition/winning/losing
___ Decision making.
•
___ Conflict/aggression.
___ Cooperation/giving-receiving credit___ Investigating/interrogating.
•
___ Entertainment.
___ Working/executing tasks.
___ Evaluation/criticism/praise.
•
___ Recreation/games.
___ Helping/asking for help
___ Reprimand/litigation.
•
___ Sex/romance/love.
___ Instruction.
___Discipline/reward/punishment
•
___ Crying/hysteria..
___ Opposition/defiance/rebellion
___ Withdrawing/running away.
•
___ Bargain/negotiate/mediation
___ Arguing/bickering/accusing/apologizing___ Counseling/listening.
•
Other Situations :
•
___ _______________________
___ _______________________________
___ _________________________
___ ______________________________
___ _________________________
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Selecting Situational Communication Patterns to be Altered
A
Person
B
Person
Situation
_____________
A
Person
B
Person
Situation
_____________
A
Person
B
Person
Situation
_____________
Characterizing the communication interaction.Characterizing the communication interaction. Characterizing the communication interaction.
A
Person
B
Person
Situation
_____________
A
Person
B
Person
Situation
_____________
A
Person
B
Person
Situation
_____________
Characterizing the communication interaction. Characterizing the communication interaction.Characterizing the communication interaction.
A
Person
B
Person
Situation
_____________
A
Person
B
Person
Situation
_____________
A
Person
B
Person
Situation
_____________
Characterizing the communication interaction. Characterizing the communication interaction. Characterizing the communication interaction.
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Characterizing and Altering a Situational Communication Pattern
Characterizing the communication interaction.
1. Record from
memory the prior
communication
pattern in this
type of situation.
A
Person
B
Person
Situation
_____________
copyright, Ed Young, PhD 11-1-1999
2. Re-write your
proposed changed
communication pattern
for this type of
situation on next page.
187
Altering a Situational Communication Pattern
Re-writing the communication interaction.
A
Person
B
Person
Situation
_____________
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1. Dealing With Inner Processes in Therapy
2. Relating Inner Processes to External Structures in Therapy
3. Client’s Homework Outside of Therapy
I. Inside the one hour of therapy, the therapist can facilitate the client’s efforts to understand and
work through unhealthy, ineffective, unsatisfying inner processes:
1. To understand and work through the negative effects of implicit parents and others, repressions,
suppressions, inhibitions and self defeating habit patterns, fears, impulses, compulsions, pseudoincorporated and pseudo-dis-incorporated feelings, values, beliefs, preferences, mis-perceptions and
mis-assessments, inaccurate knowledge, ineffective perspective taking, inaccurate envisioning
processes, dysfunctional adventuring processes, inappropriate mirroring processes, defective
judgment and decision making processes, disruptive emotional reactions, inaccurate and ineffective
understanding and use of time and timing, ineffective and
2. To understand and work through the negative effects of unhealthy relationships and self defeating
relationship styles and strategies, proclivities to choose and remain in self defeating formal and
informal roles and enact self defeating scenarios imported from past harmful relationships and roles,
3. To assist the client in structuring outside-of-therapy-homework and in assessing the results of
attempting the alternative patterns set as goals for homework.
II. The client assumes responsibility for their homework. They select alternatives and plan and
execute the alternatives. They evaluate the results and revise and practice new alternatives.
copyright, Ed Young, PhD 11-1-1999
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Effects of Inconsistencies Between Structural Constraints and Inner,
Personal Criteria for Fulfillment
There is an inevitable dialectical tension between one’s inner self, values,
preferences, dreams, goals, choices, and plans and the demands of the
external constraints of the routes and paths one is predetermined to follow as
a result of one’s condition of birth.
II. Every aspect of the environments call for specific behaviors. The person
draws upon their repertoire of behaviors to try to match the expectations,
requirements, and constraints.
III. Fate presents dilemmas and people almost always forced to make choices,
with or without awareness, that end up with unwanted outcomes.
IV. When the expectations, requirements, and constraints of one’s environments
do not match one’s values and preferences and one’s personal criteria for
fulfillment are out of sync, the person may adapt, but not without inner
suffering.
V. When there is this inconsistency between one’s inner, personal criteria for
fulfillment and the imposed expectations and requirements, a widening gap
between the person’s public and private self may begin to develop.
VI. Feeling trapped in life circumstances that involve ‘having to be, do, have or
believe’, having to act, having to pretend and develop a public persona or
façade in ways that are inconsistent with the one’s true inner self leads to
tension, a sense of loss of integrity and authenticity, loss of self respect,
suppressed alienation from one’s environment, suppressed hatred for the
required behaviors, a feeling that life in the related domains makes life not
worth living and leaves the person with a constant sense of struggle and
effort, and finally a cynicism that may lead to a break down of character.
I.
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Addressing the Inner Intentional Processes in Therapy
and Relating Them to the Client’s External World
I.
Learning to see your new places and people without projecting your past onto them. Letting
the new and different speak for itself, letting it crash through your blinders and colored
lenses and be blinded by the radiance of their newness and uniqueness. Differentiating the
old from the new and seeing the aspects of the new on its own terms.
II. Connecting current ineffective patterns to their roots in past experiences with family,
modeling of, and training by family, including traumas, and then redesigning new patterns.
Allowing repressed memories from these roots to surface and be explored so as to break
these connections.
III. Removing, layer by layer all that you had to pseudo-incorporate and pseudo-dis-incorporate
in the past and coming to accept your own way of seeing, feeling, and believing about
things. Reaching out to incorporate the new and different ways of seeing, feeling, believing,
and doing, and letting yourself experience new ways of being. Casting out and avoiding the
things and people in the world that were actually harmful and destructive to you. Realizing
you do not have to be exploited, trodden over, abused, held back, made to deny the truth, or
be shut out and that you can break out of the well worn ruts from the past.
IV. Allowing yourself to be free and open about yourself regardless of what others think or say,
letting the chips fall where they may. You can be yourself and expand in any way or
direction open that you choose. Allowing yourself to know what you truly like, what feels
good to you and what feels bad to, opening to new experiences and sensations of pleasure
and delight and admitting when things are really unpleasant and uninteresting to you,
regardless of what others say you should feel and like or not like.
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Addressing the Inner Intentional Processes in Therapy
and Relating Them to the Client’s External World [CONT.]
I.
Allowing yourself to keep others’ trash out of your boundaries and to experiment with crossing
over borders into formerly taboo territory to see what it is like if you wish. Allowing yourself to
use your own judgment and make yourself decisions, rise and fall by your own will and
muscle.
II. Disavowing others’ urging toward risks or caution, allow yourself to avoid imposed or
unnecessary risks that hold no advantage to you and to challenge yourself to take new risks
where they are worth it to you,
III. Learning to learn from your own experiences and self correct your own mistakes. Allowing
yourself to stop if you start and it is not right for or to grit your teeth and persist in spite of
others encouraging regression to ease, comfort, and safety.
IV. Listening to your own inner voice and learning your own lessons from life, storing them for
your own wisdom in the future.
V. Seeing yourself as a power, not a pawn, and able to speak up and make changes in the world
and your immediate world where it does not transgress or usurp the will of others.
VI. Allowing yourself to see the world, not as a place where you have to submit and conform and
gain others approval or avoid their rejection, but as a plaice full of possibility and potential for
you. See the world as your world and yourself as an equal among equals not having to have to
be, do, have, or believe and as free as everyone to be, do, have, and believe in your own way.
VII. Discover all the ways you have learned to short-change yourself from life and then learn to
redefine yourself and your world. It is your life and no one else’s. You are free to be.
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Assessing Your Awareness of Particular Inner Intentional Processes: How They
Were Shaped, Which You Have Altered, and Which Need to Be Altered
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3rd
Generational Parenting Cycles:
generation same as 4th, could be better, gonna be worse. 2nd generation same as third, could
be better, gonna be worse. 1st generation same as 2nd, could be better but sure is worse!
Well, what about me? You are
having a lot to do with shaping my
personality and you are the reason I
have the problems I am having!
You know, when I was a child my parents treated me badly.
That had a lot to do with shaping my personality. That’s why I
have the problems I have today.
2nd Generation
3rd Generation
4th Generation
Oh yeah, sure. I’m sure that’s just what your
parents said to you. And, I bet that made
you mad too, cause they were coping out on
what they were doing to you. Denying their
mistakes in handling you. You just can’t
own up to your ineptitude as parents just as
they couldn’t with you. Why don’t you come
off it and accept the fact that you’re just as
much to blame, just as much at a loss of
what to do as a parent as your parents were!
copyright, Ed Young, PhD 11-1-1999
Well, that’s different. You make your own
decisions. We don’t make you have the
problems you have. You have to accept
responsibility for your own behavior.
194
Patterns in Peer Culture and Their Effects on Teens
Repeat Themselves, Too!
And, With Similar Repetition, There Comes Parental Disavowal of These Effects and Parental
Emphasis on the Teens Accepting Responsibility
Well, what about me? My peers
treat me like that and they are
causing me to get in trouble? So
why do you say its all my fault?
You know, when I was a child my peers treated me badly. They teased me
and excluded me and called me names. That had a lot to do with shaping
my personality. That’s why I have the problems I have today.
1st
1st Generation
Peer Group:
Yea, sure. Whatever!
2nd Generation
2nd
Peer Group
3rd Generation
3rd
Peer Group
4th Generation
4th
Peer Group
copyright, Ed Young, PhD 11-1-1999
Well, that’s different. You make your own
decisions. They don’t make you have the
problems you have. You have to accept
responsibility for your own behavior.195
Parental Denial of Having Made Mistakes Under Pressure From Peers Leaves Their Teen No
Choice but to Accept Blame and Blame Themselves. But, Admitting Their Having Had
Difficulty in Peer Relations and Acknowledging the Difficulties of Their Teen in Dealing With
Peers and Exploring Ways to Deal With Such Situations in the Future Helps.
My peers got me to go along with
them and we got in trouble and
they let me take the blame for it.
That isn’t fair. And now you’re
treating me like it’s all my fault.
Well, it is your fault. You should have know better. You shouldn’t be hanging
around with kids like that anyway. When I was a kid I never let anybody
influence me like that. I stayed away from the bad kids and would not let them
get me in trouble.
1st
1st Generation
Yea, sure. You were perfect and expect me to be
and I’m a failure. I’m weak and no good. I can
never be as good as you or as good as you want
me to be. At least my peers know how I feel.
Peer Group Pressure:
2nd Generation
2nd
Peer Group
Pressure
3rd Generation
3rd
Peer Group
Pressure
4th Generation
Peer Group
Pressure
4th
copyright, Ed Young, PhD 11-1-1999
With an attitude like that, you’re bound to
get in trouble again and then we’re gonna
really punish you!
196
Role of the Past in Understanding and Overcoming Current Peer Related Problems
Teen Peer
Group Pressure
Adult Peer
Group Pressure
This is awful!
I remember that was a
terrible situation. Got me
in lots of trouble with the
school and my parents
went ballistic. I never got
over it and even today I
get really stressed when
m adult peers pressure
me to to do something I
know is going to lead to
trouble and don’t want to
do. Still, I give in and feel
awful and even worse
about myself. I just never
learned to handle it..
Adult Peer
Group Pressure
Ok, I can handle it now.
OK, remembering that situation, how you felt about yourself, and
about your parents, and recalling your natural naiveté as a young
teen, do you still blame yourself? Understanding the dynamics of the
relations with your parents and how that affected your vulnerability
and susceptibility to your peers, together with your lack of social
experience, do you understand why you made that decision? Now,
looking back as an adult, knowing what you know now, how might
you handle that situation differently? Now, coming forward to today,
imagine being in one of these situations, with the appropriate skills
and knowing you won’t be blamed or don’t have to blame yourself,
can you let yourself calmly step back, consider what you really want,
especially in the light of the consequences, and then says to your
peers what you really want to say? How does it feel to have the
security to do that? What do you feel the consequences will be
between your peers now?
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The Process of Getting Free From Self
Defeating Patterns.
Past relived.
Feeling
catharsis;
understandin
g dynamics;
understandin
g social
skills;
understandin
g feelings;
imagining
new social
skills;
knowing that
one does not
have to feel
that way;
and with new
skills can
handle it;
copyright, Ed Young, PhD 11-1-1999
Practicing
new
social
skills and
new ways
of feeling
in live
situations
;
the past no
longer
determines
the old self
destructive
pattern.
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Fitting Your External World to Your Internal Criteria for Fulfillment
The Role of Changing the Places of Your Life in Altering Your Personality and Behavior:
Family and Home, Work, Social and Recreational, Support and Control Agencies
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The Role of Changing
Formal and Informal Roles and Relationships
in Altering Behavior Patterns and Inner Processes
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200
Conscious Use of Situations to Facilitate Self Enhancement
1.
2.
3.
4.
How can you identify the places you need to change?
Where can you choose to go today?
How can you identify self defeating formal and informal roles?
How can you assume new, healthier, more satisfying formal
roles?
5. How can you identify unhealthy, unsatisfying relationships?
6. What relationships do you need to change so as to avoid
compelling, self defeating informal roles?
7. How can you negotiate changes in unsatisfying, unhealthy
relationships, and change self defeating situational
communication patterns that repeatedly occur in these
relationships?
8. How can you identify self defeating inner processes?
9. How can you change inner processes from being unhealthy and
self defeating to being self enhancing?
10. How can you use observations of real life people and models in
movies to teach you new ways of relating and handling
situations.
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Conceptualizing Levels of External and Internal Structures
and Processes As a Method for Re-designing Your Life
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202
Redesigning Your World and Learning to Be Proactive
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Success in Therapy: Overcoming the Odds
1. When you, as the Client, are in Structured Settings with Strict Constraints vs.
2. When you, as the Client, are in Unstructured Settings with a Lack of Constraints
1.You, the client, in structured settings.
1. The force of constraints militates against change.
1. Routine and repetitive situations and situational interactions prevent change.
2. Formal and informal roles and expectations prevent change
3. Stereotyped perceptions by others and assigned identities elicit habitual stereotyped behavior.
4. Long-standing informal relationships that enact parts in unconscious scenarios pressure the client to continue
enacting their own part in these scenarios.
5. Networks of patterned communication exert a pull for conforming.
2. Given the above dynamics and the fact that you, the client, are captive to being confronted with continuous
feedback from coworkers in higher, equal, and lower rank urging you to conform to their own needs and
expectations, the client’s interaction patterns, as well as inner processes, tend to be maintained in
conformity to the demands of these networks of patterned communications.
2.You, the client, in unstructured settings.
1. Lack of formal structure and the extreme fluidity of absence of constraints presents the client with infinite
options and the freedom to enter or depart settings and situations and begin or end relationships at will.
1. In the absence of continuous and enduring dictated or pressured scripts for behavior and communication, the client
is faced with the opportunity to select and deselect companions based on whether or not the other has an inner
scenario they need to enact that matches the scenario(s) of the client. Those that match are selected and maintained.
2. Matching scenarios are the most comfortable. The client feels discomfort when companions’ scenarios are a
mismatch and withdraws from these relationships.
3. Deliberately entering interaction where the degree of match is unknown or that is suspected to require development
of a new repertoire creates anxiety and tends to be avoided.
4. In the absence of structure, the client’s suppressed or repressed needs, fears, etc., tend to surface and the client has
a strong tendency to seek places where such needs can be met and fears avoided. Clients tend to project on
ambiguous places and persons the auras of their inner fears and desires and selectively include consistent and
exclude inconsistent features..
2. Given the above dynamics and the fact that the client is not likely to receive or hear feedback encouraging
them to change, the client has little opportunity or incentive to try, develop, revise, and practice new
repertoires.
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The Trajectory of Self Enhancement Progress Over Time
• Trigger Situations In Types and Stages of Relationships
• The Role of Informal and Formal Roles in Maintaining
Personality and Behavior Patterns
copyright, Ed Young, PhD 11-1-1999
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205
Homework Exercises
1. 27 Exploring How Structures and Settings Affect Your Relationships
2. 28 How You Handle Stages and Paths
of Intimate and Familial Relationships
3. 29 Identifying the Pattern in Your Intimate Relationship
4. 32 Trigger Situations In Types and Stages of Relationships
5. 24 Exploring Your Relations to Time, Your Comfortable Pace, and Feelings Accompanying
Time Issues
6. 34 Exploring Life Circumstances and Types of Situations That Trigger Uncomfortable
Emotions and Moods in Your Life
7. 36 Approaching the Question of Making Changes in the Topography of Your Life
8. 37 I. A Work Sheet for Re-routing the Topographical Features of Your Life
9. 38 II. A Worksheet for Proposing Alternative Strategies for Coping With Uncomfortable
Situations
10. 40 Exploring Your Generalized Communication Pattern
11. 48 Assessing Your Awareness of Particular Inner Intentional Processes: How They Were
Shaped, Which You Have Altered, and Which Need to Be Altered
12. 54 Fitting Your External World to Your Internal Criteria for Fulfillment
The Role of Changing the Places of Your Life in Altering Your Personality and Behavior:
Family and Home, Work, Social and Recreational, Support and Control Agencies
13. 55 The Role of Informal and Formal Roles in Maintaining Personality and Behavior Patterns
14. 57 Redesigning Your World and Learning to Be Proactive
15. 59 The Trajectory of Self Enhancement Progress Over Time
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Homework Exercises [Cont.]
1. 27 Exploring How Structures and Settings Affect Your
Relationships
2. 28 How You Handle Stages and Paths of Intimate and
Familial Relationships
3. 29 Identifying the Pattern in Your Intimate Relationship
4. 32 Trigger Situations In Types and Stages of Relationships
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