Transcript Unit #4: Relationships

Unit #4: Relationships
Ch. 10, 11, and 12
Skills for Healthy
Relationships
Chapter 10
Introductory Questions #1
1) What qualities do you look for in a friend? Which of
these characteristics do you personally display?
2) Name some important characteristics that a healthy
relationship is based on.
3) Name three skills people need in order for a relationship
to succeed. (3 C’s)
4) How do you define a person’s character? What are the
six main traits of good character? (Pg. 252)
5) What are the three basic skills that are needed for
effective communication?
6) In your own words, describe the three styles of
communication (passive, aggressive, & assertive).
7) Communication always involves speaking and ______.
Remember to never ____________ that the others can
read you mind. (pg. 255)
Foundations of Healthy
Relationships
• Relationship
– A bond or connection you have with other people
– Relationships affect all sides of your health triangle
• Role
– A part you play in a relationship
– e.g., son, daughter, employee, friend, church member,
etc.
– These roles may gradually or suddenly change
– Be aware of your role
• Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect
and shared values and interests
– Encourage and support one another
– All parties benefit and feel comfortable
Types of Relationships
• Family relationships (immediate &
extended)
– Teach you values that will guide you
through life thus enhancing your social
health
– Their love, care, and encouragement
contribute to your mental/emotional health
– Food, clothing, and shelter benefit your
physical health
Types of Relationships
• Friendships
– A significant relationship between two
people that is based on caring, trust, and
consideration
– Based on shared values and interests
– Can positively influence your self-concept
and behavior
– Hard work, but well worth the effort
Types of Relationships
• Community relationships
• Citizenship
– The way you conduct yourself as a
member of the community
• Members work together to enhance the
safety and well-being of the entire
community
• Demonstrate good citizenship by:
– Volunteering
– Obeying laws and rules
– Be a friendly and helpful neighbor
Three C’s of Healthy
Relationships
• Communication
– Your ways of send and
receiving messages
– Words, gestures, facial
expressions and
behaviors
– Used to express feelings,
needs, wants, &
knowledge
• Cooperation
– Working together for the
good of all
• Helps build stronger
relationships
• Helps build stronger
relationships
• Compromise
– A problem-solving
method that involves
each participant’s giving
up something to reach a
solution that satisfies
everyone
• This “give and take”
strengthens
relationships
• Solutions should be
acceptable to ALL
parties
• Learn when to and
when to NOT
compromise
Characteristics of Healthy
Relationships
•
•
•
•
Mutual respect and consideration
Honesty
Dependability
Commitment
Character
• Character
– The way you think, feel,
and act
• Trustworthiness
– Honest, reliable, & loyal
• Respect
– Good manners, being
considerate, tolerant
• Responsibility
– Do what is expected of
you, personal
accountability, selfcontrol
• Fairness
– Play by the rules, take
turns and share, openminded, don’t place
blame, listen
• Caring
– Kind and compassionate;
put time and energy into
helping others
• Citizenship
– Doing your share and
taking part in improving
your school/community;
obeying laws and rules
Communicating Effectively
• All the ways in which you send and
receive messages are forms of
communication
• Three basic skills for effective
communication
– Speaking
– Listening
– Body language
Communication Styles
• Passive
– The inability/unwillingness to express thoughts and
feelings
• Don’t stand up for themselves
• Pushovers
• Aggressive
– Intimidate and bully
• Not considerate of others
• Assertive
– Expressing thoughts and feelings clearly, BUT without
hurting others
• Stand up for themselves while respecting others
• They attack the problem, not the person
Communication Skills
Speaking
– Don’t assume people can read your mind
• Express hurt feelings
• Clearly say what you mean
• Be aware of tone, pitch, and volume
• “I” message
– Statement that expresses how a person
feels by using the pronoun “I”
– Delivers messages with strong emotional
content
– Avoid placing the blame on others
Introductory Questions #2
1) Why is the “I message” important to use when you have
to communicate strong emotional context?
2) Why is listening such an important aspect of good
communication?
3) Name the four techniques for active listening that can
help you to have a healthy relationship.
4) Messages that do not contain words (nonverbal
communication) involve __________ _______ through
gestures, facial expressions, behavior, and posture.
5) Name (5) obstacles that stop clear communication
between people. (pgs 259-260)
6) Briefly explain what constructive communication is and
the purpose it serves.
7) Why are acknowledgements and compliments important
to give others?
Communication Skills
Listening
• Active Listening
– Paying close attention to what someone is saying &
communicating
• Reflective listening
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
Rephrase/summarize
Clarifying
Ask how he/she feels or thinks about the situation
Ask questions for your own clarification
Encouraging
Nodding, smiling, “I see,” “uh-huh”
empathizing
Communication Skills
• Body Language
– Non-verbal communication through
gestures, facial expression, behaviors and
postures
• Nodding or smiling can show you agree or
disagree
• Tense position or rolling of the eye’s can
communicate frustration, etc.
• Being aware of body language can help send
clearer messages
Eliminating Communication
Barriers
• Image & Identity issues
– Identity: a sense of
who you are and of
your place in the world
• If you are unsure of
who you are & your
values,
communication can
become complicated
• Unrealistic expectations
– Can lead to frustration
• Lack of trust
• Prejudice
– An unfair opinion or
judgment of a
particular group of
people
• Doesn’t allow you to
be open-minded
• Tolerance
– Ability to respectfully
accept others’
differences
• Gender stereotyping
Effective Communication
Constructive feedback
• Constructive criticism: non-hostile comments that
point out problems for the purpose of helping a
person improve
– Doesn’t place blame or attack
• Use “I” messages
• Acknowledgements & compliments
– Everyone needs to feel appreciated
• Various forms:
–
–
–
–
Notes
Verbal expression of gratitude
Flowers
gifts
Introductory Questions #3
1) What are the (5) common causes of conflict?
2) Look at Fig. 10.5 (pg. 264), what sorts of strategies can
be used to resolve conflicts? Why is respect important
in resolving conflict?
3) What do you think causes conflicts to escalate and get
out of control? (see exploring issues)
4) What are some important things to remember when
trying to negotiate with others?
5) What is mediation? What are some important things to
remember if you are the mediator between two people?
Resolving Conflict
• Conflict
– Any disagreement,
struggle or fight
• Often occurs when
the needs, wants,
expectations or
beliefs clash with
those of another
person
• Interpersonal conflict
– Disagreements
between groups of any
size
• Common Cause of
Conflict
–
–
–
–
–
Power struggles
Loyalty
Jealousy/envy
Property disputes
Territory & space
Responding to Conflict
• Primary concerns:
– Health and safety
– Walking away from a potentially dangerous
situation is a mature decision—don’t be
afraid of doing so
• Conflict resolution
– The process of solving a disagreement in a
manner that satisfies everyone involved
• Strategies for resolving conflicts
– See Figure 10.5 (page 264)
Negotiation & Mediation
• Negotiation: the use of communication
and often compromise to resolve a
disagreement
– Steps to take:
• Select a time & place best suited for working
out the problem
• Work together
• Be open-minded
• Be flexible
• Take personal responsibility
• Give the other person an “out” (if they seem
embarrassed or uncomfortable—set up for
Negotiation & Mediation
• Mediation: the process in which
specially trained people help others
resolve their conflicts peacefully
– Confidentiality is maintained
– Usually in a neutral location
– Should be used when all other means of
resolution have been exhausted
• Peer mediators: students trained to help
other students find fair resolutions to
conflicts & disagreements
Introductory Questions #4 – Chapter11
1) How would you define a family? What does a family
provide you?
2) When looking at the Health triangle, how do family
relationships effect all three sides?
3) List all the ways you can strengthen your family
relationships.
4) Your text offers some suggestions for managing
emotional stress when parents get divorced. What are
they?
5) What are some changes in family circumstance that can
cause difficulties for the family?
6) What can you do to cope with family changes? (pg. 284)
Introductory Questions #5
1) What are the three main forms of abuse
commonly seen in families?
2) What are the elements of a good safety plan
against abuse? (see the Q & A box)
3) What are some of the effects of abuse?
4) How can the “Cycles of Violence” be stopped?
5) What are the three strategies (R’s) that can help
you avoid and prevent domestic abuse?
6) Why are support groups important for people
who need help? What do they offer to people?
Chapter 12
Peer Relationships
Safe & Healthy Friendships
• What is a friend?
– Someone with whom you share a bond
– Casual vs. close
– platonic
• Who usually makes up your group of
friends?
– Peers or people of similar age
– Cliques?
• Usually based on prejudice & stereotyping
Forming Healthy Friendships
• Choose friends that share similar interests
& values, but that also provide a healthy
balance.
• Care for & nurture those friendships:
– Be loyal
– Encourage one another
– Respect each other
Peer Pressure & Refusal Skills
• What is peer
pressure?
– Is it only negative?
• Negative peer
pressure usually
results in engaging in
risky behaviors.
– Harassment
– manipulation
•
•
1.
2.
3.
•
Avoid it
Be assertive
State your position
Suggest alternatives
Stand your ground
The pitfalls of
passive & aggressive
responses.
Dating!!
• You are approaching the stage in your life
when you start feeling differently about
boys & girls…we call this dating.
• Infatuation vs. affection
– Infatuation: exaggerated feelings of passion
– Affection: feelings of fondness
Dating!!
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•
•
•
•
What to do:
Sports/athletic events
Community activities
Charitable activities
School events
• Set limits BEFORE
– Curfews are usually
aimed at keeping you
safe
• What NOT to do:
• Put yourself in risky
situations
• Being alone before
you are ready
Abstinence
• Deliberately deciding
to avoid high-risk
behaviors
• Abstinence applies to
sexual activity & drug
use
•
•
•
•
Establish priorities
Set limits
Share thoughts
Talk with a trusted
adult
• Avoid high-pressure
situations
• Don’t use alcohol or
drugs
Chapter 12: Peer and Friend Relationships
Key terms to know:
-cliques
-prejudice
-stereotype
-Attributes: loyalty, respect, encouragement
-Refusal skills----peer pressure
-harassment
-manipulation
-passive/aggressive
-Dating
-Abstinence
-STD’s
Chapter 12: Peer and Friend Relationships
Assignment:
Write a one page letter to your best friend
explaining to them all the reasons you enjoy their
company. Be sure to include:
-A past experience you had with them
(a memorable event)
-Important things that were said or done
-Qualities they possess that you like about them
-Why you like hanging out with them?