Transcript The Relationship Principles of Jesus

The Relationship Principles
of Jesus
Mount Olivet Baptist Church
Adolphus C. Lacey, Senior Pastor
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Last Week’s Memory Verse
John 13:34
“A new command I give you: Love
one another. As I have loved you, o
you must love one another."
Relationship Principle #2
Love As Jesus Loves You
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Memory Verse
Matthew 12:34
“Out of the overflow of the
heart the mouth speaks.”
Relationship Principle #3
Communicate from the heart
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
Communication is defined as “a process
by which information is exchanged
between individuals through a common
system of symbols, signs, or behavior.”

Conversely, one could define
communication as “a process by which
information is confused by individuals
through a conflicting system of emotions,
behaviors, backgrounds, and desires.
I. Communication Isn’t Easy
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
All relationships are fueled by
communication.
Communication is not easy; “No one can
tame the tongue” – James 3:8
 We will look at three lessons that grow
out of the teaching and example of Jesus:

1. The foundation of communication is
trust;
2. Communication is always from the heart;
and
3. Communication that makes an impact is
honest.
I. Communication Isn’t Easy
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Your words can heal a
relationship, heal someone’s faith,
heal a broken heart, heal a
shattered hope.
I. Communication Isn’t Easy
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 In
His Sermon on the Mount,
Jesus said, “Simply let your 'Yes'
be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No';
anything beyond this comes
from the evil one” (Matthew
5:37).
 Say
what you mean and
mean what you say!
II. The Foundation Is Trust
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
Communication experts say that the
words we speak to others can actually
produce six distinct messages:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
What you mean to say
What you actually say
What the other person hears
What the other person thinks he/she hears
What the other person says about what you
said
6. What you think the other person said about
what you said.
II. The Foundation Is Trust
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Eroding Trust
1.
Lies
2.
Flattery
3.
Broken Promises
4.
Silence
II. The Foundation Is Trust
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
What if trust is no longer there? How do
you rebuild trust?

Rebuilding trust always takes a
combination of truth plus time.

As you are building or rebuilding trust,
remember this simple biblical truth: “Kind
words are good medicine” (Proverbs
15:4). The power of a kind word at the
right moment is immeasurable!
II. The Foundation Is Trust
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
Jesus speaks of a direct link between the
mouth and the heart.

The connection between the mouth and
the heart is a two-way connection.

The anger in our hearts spills out in biting
words that magnify anger inside and
around our souls.
III. The Connection Between
Heart and Mouth
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How do we break the pattern?
1.
Since words are an overflow of the
heart, start taking your heart more
seriously.
2.
Since our souls are harmed by what
we say, start taking your words
more seriously.
III. The Connection Between
Heart and Mouth
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Here are a few strategies:






Take five…or ten minutes to get away and let
your anger cool down.
Pray for the other person.
Use owning statements instead of blaming
statements – don’t blame the other person
for your feelings; own them yourself.
Watch the tone and the volume of your
words.
Focus on the solution, not the problem.
Learn to accept what cannot be changed.
III. The Connection Between
Heart and Mouth
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
Most of us value honesty; we want
honesty to be a part of our lives and
relationships.

Yet when it comes right down to it, we
often find it easier to be dishonest.

It is easier to be nice than to be honest.

But if we want our relationships to grow,
honesty is non-negotiable.
IV. A New Kind of Honesty
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 The
truth sometimes hurts, but
it does not have to maim, kill, or
destroy. – Ephesians 4:29
 Honesty
sometimes brings the
bitter pain of rejection.
IV. A New Kind of Honesty
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
One of the most vital aspects of your
communication with people is prayer.

More important than the way you talk to
someone is the way you talk to God about
someone.

Jesus taught us to pray as a conversation.

In Jesus’ example and teaching, three
words mark the tone of our conversation
with God: persistence, confidence, and
reverence.
V. God Is in the Conversation
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Persistence

Jesus tells a number of parables about
persistence in which He reminds His
followers that “they should always pray
and not give up” (Luke 18:1; Luke 11:513).

God does not have to be coaxed or
pressured into helping.

Pray until one of two things happens: God
changes the situation, or God changes
you.
V. God Is in the Conversation
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Confidence
 Jesus taught that part of conversation in prayer
is making confident requests of God (see
Matthew 7:7).
 Pray with the expectation that something will
happen – or why bother pray at all?
Reverence
 Prayer is a relationship. Reverence in prayer is
not about methods and forms – it is a
relationship.
 For Jesus, conversation with His Father was a
part of the fabric of His life.
V. God Is in the Conversation
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 Jesus
showed us how to make
an impact with your words.
 Like
Jesus, we can strengthen
our communication in three
ways:
1. giving a gentle touch,
2. asking the right question, and
3.
painting pictures with words.
VI. How To Be Truly Heard
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Jesus Touched Those He Healed
 Jesus
often touched those He
healed.
 There
is power in the human touch.
 Jesus
had the right touch, because
He truly cared about everyone He
met.
VI. How To Be Truly Heard
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Jesus Used Questions to Challenge

Jesus often used questions to challenge
someone’s thinking and to set his or her
life in a different direction.

Questions have the ability to challenge
and to break down barriers.
VI. How To Be Truly Heard
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Jesus Used Pictures to Communicate
New Truth

The greatest example of Jesus’ use of
pictures to communicate is seen in His
parables.

When you feel you are not being heard,
instead of giving up quickly in frustration,
try a different way of getting your point
across.
VI. How To Be Truly Heard
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When Criticized, Jesus Gave a Clear,
Confident Response

See John 8:12-14. What are you prone to
do when you face the attack of criticism?
Attack back?

Jesus chose to tell the truth.

Give a clear, confident response instead
of reacting defensively.
VII. Troubleshooting Communication
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When Honestly Doubted,
Jesus Offered Proof

See John 20:26-29 – What should you do
when someone doubts your word?

Whenever you are doubted, you can
choose to focus on yourself or on the
other person’s need.
VII. Troubleshooting Communication
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When Ridiculed, Jesus Was Silent

See Isaiah 53:7 – Some comments do not
deserve an answer. It is better to just let
it go.

The Bible informs us that an answer to
that brand of criticism will do more harm
than good. – Proverbs 9:7-8.
VII. Troubleshooting Communication
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When Backed into A Corner, Jesus
Turned on the Light

Jesus’ opponents would ask questions
designed to stop Him. Jesus did not walk
away from those situations. Nor did He
walk into the trap.

Instead, He turned the light of truth on
the situation by offering a different
perspective.

See Matthew 22:19-22.
VII. Troubleshooting Communication
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When Rejected, Jesus Went Elsewhere

Jesus teaches us what to do when you or
your words are rejected.

We often do the wrong thing and respond
by chasing even harder after the person
who has rejected us.

See Matthew 10:14. When people asked
Jesus to leave, He left because He knew
their hearts were hard.
VII. Troubleshooting Communication
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Be Courageous

It takes courage to communicate.

As Solomon declared, “The tongue has
the power of life and death” (Proverbs
18:21a).

Through the words you speak, God has
given you more power to build faith,
hope, and love into others’ lives than you
can possibly imagine!
VII. Troubleshooting Communication
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