Transcript Session 1 One-on-One Communication

ASME 101: Basic Leadership Skills
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
Session Objectives
To understand that leadership skills are
learned habits
To learn some specific communication
behaviors that help you get what you
want
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
Why Learn Leadership Skills?
• The Best Places to Work are also the Best
Performing Companies
• You’ll have more impact – be able to make
more of a difference and achieve your goals
“The body of research is starting to clearly show
that…what ultimately distinguishes the good from
the great achievers is the development and
refinement of their management skills.”
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
How To Learn Leadership Skills
• Disconnect between knowing the
concept and doing it
• Three level process
1. Personal Skills (Just You)
2. Interpersonal Skills (You and Another)
3. Group Skills (You and the team/group)
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
Components of Communication
• Task
– The content
• Energy
– The emotion, values, beliefs
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
Learning the Vocabulary
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
Learning the Rules
• Good communication skills is a
matter of learning the rules
• Things to do
• Things to NOT do
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
The Very Worst
-- Ignoring, Changing the Subject,
Me-Too’s
Acting like someone doesn’t matter
You must be authentic. If you don’t
care, then don’t act like you do.
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
2nd Worst
- Giving Advice
- Looks like:
- Why don’t you….
- You should…shouldn’t…could…couldn’t
1st Law of Communication
You can give all the advice you want, but
you are wasting your breath because
people don’t take advice.
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
Neutral Statements
0 Restate/Paraphrase
You let them know you heard them
Anchors the conversation with a starting point
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
Gaining Ground
+ Paraphrasing both
CONTENT and ENERGY
You seem
[insert best guess energy word]
because
[insert interpretation of CONTENT]
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
The Best
++ Paraphrasing both CONTENT and ENERGY
and adding a DOOR-OPENER
DOOR-OPENERs: Give me an example… Tell me about…
What are some details? How big a deal is this?
You seem
[insert best guess energy word] because
[insert interpretation of CONTENT].
[insert door-opener]
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
PRACTICE
-- So Whats, Ignoring, Me-Too’s
-
Giving Advice
0 Restate or Paraphrase
+ Paraphrase Content and Energy
++ Paraphrase Content and Energy
plus
a Door-Opener
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
The Bottom Line
You must be authentic. If you don’t
care, then don’t act like you do.
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
Contact Information
Gary Hickman
[email protected]
This presentation will be posted on
the 2011 LTC Web Site, at
http://www.asmeconferences.org/ltc1
1/presentations.cfm
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.
Basic Leadership Skills
For questions or comments
Gary Hickman
[email protected]
Presentation available at
events.asme.org/ltc11
/presentations.cfm
16
© 2010 Elaine Seat. All Rights Reserved.