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AYSO National Referee Program Advanced Referee Administrator Training Communications Workshop number: # 324 Communications Easy to do… Right? A man went to an attorney and said, “I want to divorce my wife.” Attorney: Do you have any grounds? Man: About 10 acres. Attorney: Do you have a grudge? Man: No, just a carport. Attorney: Does your wife beat you up? Man: No, I get up about an hour before she does every morning. Attorney: Why do you want a divorce? Man: We just can’t seem to communicate. Why Are We Here? To Explore Ideas For: Improving/Fine Tuning Our Communication Skills Improving Our Team Performance With Better Communications Translate These Ideas Into Improved Performance In: Relating information to others Understanding others Working with others Thoughts On Communication It’s a very simple idea: thoughts become words and words become actions “Speak when you are angry– and you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” Laurence J. Peter (1919 – 1988) Educator and author of The Peter Principle If someone were to pay you 10 cents for every kind word you ever spoke and collect from you 5 cents for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor? Communications “The Foundation for Understanding” Non-verbal Communication 3 Most Important Words TALK TO ME Honor your people Begin by saying, “TALK TO ME” Listening makes people feel important, intelligent, and valued They’ll repay you by putting forth their best effort Are you a good listener? Why Is Listening So Difficult? Most of us are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful about 75% of the time we should be listening Think at 1,000- 3,000 words per minute Listen at 125- 250 words per minute Short term, we can recall 50% Long term, we only remember 20% More than 35 business studies indicate that listening is a top skill needed for success 4 Principles of Listening Listening grants others the power of speaking Listening is a gift, be generous with it What we listen to is more important than what we say Communication is what is heard, not what is said Discussion What can you do to become a better listener? More On Communications – Math Lesson Are You Listening? Words We Use Is This What We Wanted To Say? The Power of Words Communicating to the Team Make your team believe they can do anything Open up the clogged channels After creating a brand defend it Freedom Creates Discipline After Action Review (AAR) Blue Angels Success is shared Your Attitude – What Does It Say? Does your attitude communicate what you really want to say? When people see your attitude what message do they receive? Does your attitude create a positive or negative communication? Ben Underwood Thoughts On Attitude You don’t do things right once in awhile you do them right all the time It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up Confidence is contagious and so is a lack of confidence, and a customer will recognize both “If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.” Vince Lombardi Do You Communicate a Clear Performance Challenge Do you share communications? Is information communicated to all concerned? What is your communication goal? How Fast Can You Go? What Was Communicated? Expectations? How to perform the task? Well defined goals? Was Feedback to the boss possible? What were the barriers to effective communication? Communication As A Leader Training & Communication Why should I train people and then loose them? The answer is obvious: The only thing worse than training people and losing them is not training them and keeping them. What Effect Can You Have? Build Legacy Customer Service Goal for the referees: Support the delivery of a great AYSO experience for the players and others. How will today’s workshop help you support this goal? AYSO National Referee Program Advanced Referee Administrator Training Mentoring Mentoring Leadership Competency Elements of Mentoring Goal Train leaders to be effective mentors Who are the leaders? Prepare to Learn More… Grow Better… So We Can Give a Lot! Today Let’s: Do Self-analysis Review How Mentoring Works Describe and Discuss the Elements of Mentoring Prepare to Learn More… Grow Better… So We Can Give a Lot! Mentoring What’s In It For Me? Mentoring Benefits: Help Others! Mentoring Benefits: Help Yourself Mentoring Ground Rules for Mentors Get permission Honor confidentiality Control level of participation and disclosure Everyone’s perspective is valid! Mentoring How Does It Work? First build awareness, Generate commitment,, Apply correct practice, Then… change behavior! Mentoring Element 1 – Develop Relationship Listen to stories Show interest, Identify with person’s concern Examples One more example… AWARENESS + COMMITMENT + CORRECT PRACTICE = CHANGE Mentoring Element 2 – Listen To understand vs., To be understood Examples AWARENESS + COMMITMENT + CORRECT PRACTICE = CHANGE Mentoring Element 3 – Ask Provocative ???? To generate awareness To get commitment, To develop a positive relationship Examples One more… AWARENESS + COMMITMENT + CORRECT PRACTICE = CHANGE Mentoring Element 4 – Provide Feedback Two or three things done well One or two things that are weak, One or two options per weakness Keep the loop going AWARENESS + COMMITMENT + CORRECT PRACTICE = CHANGE Mentoring Element 5 – Correct Practice Identify specific challenge Select a couple of options Describe the related practice Describe the benefits Check it out… AWARENESS + COMMITMENT + CORRECT PRACTICE = CHANGE Mentoring Let’s Summarize Ground rules for the mentor? Elements of mentoring… (5) Give me a couple ????? AWARENESS + COMMITMENT + CORRECT PRACTICE = CHANGE Customer Service Goal for the referees: Support the delivery of a great AYSO experience for the players and others. How will today’s workshop help you support this goal?