Transcript Communication Climates Part III

Communication
Climates Part III
SUSTAINING HEALTHY CLIMATES - UNDERSTANDING HOW TO BE
SUPPORTATIVE
Confirmation
• We need to confirm our own individual value but we also need to confirm the value of others
•Interpersonal communication principals also concern how we treat ourselves
• If we consider our needs less important, our opinions less valid then we will struggle to maintain
healthy, balanced communication climates
• We confirm ourselves when we express ourselves honestly
• At the same time expressing ourselves in a way that is respectful of others
• We need to assert ourselves in the workplace or we give up the chance to influence the quality of work produced and how it is
organized
• We need to assert ourselves in personal relationships so your partner understands your ideas, feelings and needs
Aggression/Assertion/Deference
Aggressive Communication
Assertive Communication
Deference (Submissive)
I demand that we spend time
together
I’d like to create more time for us.
If you don’t want us to spend
time with each other, that’s okay
with me.
Get this report done TODAY.
I’d like to get this report done
today, can you manage that?
I need this report today, but if you
can’t get it done, that’s all right.
Respect Diversity – We all are Different!
Personal and professional relationships vary in how we communicate in them
◦ Some workplaces might be very formal others might be informal
◦ Same with personal relationships (parents vs. dating/friendships)
People are diverse so the way we communicate is diverse. No one communicates exactly the
same way.
◦ There is a range of communication choices we can each make and patterns we choose that affect our
communication climates and how our relationships are maintained or breakdown. There isn’t a one size
fits all roadmap to successful communication.
◦ People value time differently.
◦ Be flexible about when you want to engage in a conflict- no everyone can engage in a tense conversation at the same time, place or
style that you can. Find a middle ground.
◦ Bracketing (setting aside things for a later discussion) also helps keep us from getting sidetracked in conversations.
Show Grace When Appropriate
Grace – a willingness to excuse someone who has no right to expect your compassion or
forgiveness.
◦ Showing grace when appropriate helps maintain personal and professional relationships
◦ It’s important for yourself and personal healing (intrapersonal communication)
Grace is given without strings.
◦ We defer our needs, show kindness, forgive a wrong without expecting a reward or anything in
return.
◦ We don’t expect the other person to feel indebted to us.
HOWEVER, Grace isn’t always appropriate. Generosity of spirit can be exploited and people can
take advantage of kindness and trust. Some people will abuse this (repeatedly). When grace is
extended and then exploited remember not to fault yourself. You are the bigger person.
Group Discussion
Discuss as a group a time when you found it difficult to confirm someone else. Is it hard to
confirm another person when you disagree with them? After covering the chapter in class, can
you distinguish from a disagreement and when you are disconfirming the person (ex: you can
disagree but are you going farther and de-valuing the person?)