Transcript Foundations of Healthy Relationships

Foundations of Healthy
Relationships
Health Education
Bell Ringer Jan. 29th
“If you were going to die soon and had
only one phone call you could make,
who would you call and what would
you say?
And why are you waiting?”
~Stephen Levine
Personal Health Inventory
Self-Inventory: Read each statement below and respond by
writing yes, no or sometimes for each item. Write a yes only
for items that you practice regularly. Save these responses.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
treat others with respect.
am a team player.
am a trustworthy individual.
often use compromise to resolve differences.
am willing to work at my relationships.
communicate well with others.
am a good listener.
ask questions if I’m not sure what is being said.
use eye contact when communicating with others.
am aware of my own body language.
Think Quick !
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List 10 characteristics that you think are
needed for a healthy relationship

Rank the characteristics in order of
importance, and explain why you ranked each
as you did.
Healthy Relationships

Relationship
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A bond or connection you have with other people
Relationships allow us to meet our needs to
be:
LOVED
 SAFE
 SECURE
 VALUED
 RECOGNIZED

Healthy Relationships
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All relationships have (+) and (-) effects on your
health

Healthy Relationships demonstrate (+) effects on all
areas of your health.
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Healthy Relationships are based on:
What?
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Shared values
Shared interests
Mutual respect
Healthy Relationships
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Family Relationships
Immediate Family
 Extended Family
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Teach values, manners
and socialize you.
Food, Clothing,
Shelter
How do healthy family
relationships enhance
all sides of your health
Triangle?

Give you love, care and
encouragement
Healthy Relationships
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Friendship Relationships
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Significant relationship between 2 people that is based on
caring, trust and consideration
Friendships contribute to enhancing your health by:
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Sharing similar values (M/E and Social)
Share hobbies and interests (Physical, Social, M/E)
Sharing friends (Social and M/E)
Positively influencing self-esteem and self-concept (M/E)
Helping to resist negative influences (Physical, M/E,
Social)
Healthy Relationships
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Friend or Acquaintance?
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Acquaintance- relationship less intimate than friendship
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1.
2.
3.
Not as much caring, trust or consideration
Talk to less, do not share same information, do not turn to in time of
need.
As teens, we see all people as a friend, however, is that
true?
Questions to Consider
Do you have more friends or acquaintances? Why?
What causes you to call someone a friend or acquaintance?
Create 2 lists: Benefits of spending time alone & with
friends
Healthy Relationships

Community Relationships

Citizenship
 The
way you conduct yourself as a member of the
community

Work together to promote the safety and
well-being of the entire community
Community Watch
 Volunteer Programs
 Food Bank

Donation Drives
Obey laws
Golden Rule
Healthy Relationship
Characteristics in Action
Work in groups of 2 or 3
 Compare your lists that you created earlier
 Choose the top 2 characteristics that you can
all agree on
 Prepare a skit that demonstrates those
characteristics to promote a healthy
relationship
 Prepare a 2nd skit that demonstrates what
happens to the healthy relationship when
those characteristics are not present

Bell Ringer Jan. 30th
Explain how healthy family relationships improve a persons 1.
physical 2.social 3.mental/emotional health
Bell Ringer February 2nd
Define Citizenship. What are 3 examples of ways that you can
get involved with your community? Why would this positively
impact your personal health?
Bell Ringer February 4th
1. Create your own “I” message sentence to a friend who is
asking you to skip your fathers 50th birthday party to go to
the movies.
2. Describe the 4 techniques for Active Listening.

Building Healthy
Relationships &
Communication
The 4 C’s to Building Healthy
Relationships
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For a relationship to succeed and be healthy,
the people involved need certain skills.
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4 C’s
Communication
 Cooperation
 Compromise
 Character
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Communication
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Communication
 The way you send and receive messages from others
What are some ways we communicate?

Effective communication is a 2 way street
There are 3 basic skills necessary for effective communication
1. Speaking
2. Listening
3.
Body Language
http://www.ted.com/talks/clint_smith_the_danger_of_silence#t-32892
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Cooperation
 Working with others to accomplish a goal
Nonviolent Communication
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NVC: A way of communicating that leads us to give
from the heart. We humans need to be reminded
that we were always meant to RELATE to one
another.
 Speaking and listening in a way that connects us
to ourselves and each other that allows our
natural compassion to flourish.
NVC replaces habitual patterns of defending,
withdrawing, or attacking in the face of judgement
and criticism.
Communication that Blocks
Compassion:
1.
2.
3.
Moralistic Judgements: implying wrongness or badness on the part of
people who do not harmonize with our values.

Analyzing others are actually expressions of our own needs and
values. Judging others promotes violence.
Making Comparisons: Comparisons are a form of judgement, and can
start to make people feel miserable.
Denial of Responsibility: We are dangerous when we are not conscious
of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.
Question to consider:
How Do You Feel About Reality TV Shows???
“ People don’t watch these shows to engage with them in a genuine way, They
watch so they can look down on people. I call it “ Masterpiece Stupidity.”
Communication Styles
3 Communication Styles
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Passive (“Mrs. Go Along”)
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Aggressive (“Mr. Pushy”)
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Inability or unwillingness to express thoughts/opinions
Do not stand up for their beliefs
Always try to get their way
Use bullying and intimidation
Assertive (“Mr. and Mrs. Stand Up”)
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Express thoughts and feeling without hurting others
However, they respect the thoughts of others
Compromise
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Compromise
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Giving up something so that all can reach a satisfying
solution
WIN-WIN SITUATION
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Involves a “give and take” which can strengthen
relationships
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All must be satisfied with the solution
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Do not give up your values or beliefs to
compromise on a situation
Character in Relationships
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There are 6 major character traits present in
all HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Trustworthiness
Respect
Responsibility
Fairness
Caring
Citizenship
Can you
identify these
Character
Traits?
How to Resolve Conflicts
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Conflict: Condition that exists any time 2 people disagree.
Conflict Resolution: Process of ending a conflict through cooperation and problem
solving.
Steps for Conflict Resolution:
1. Get calm and think before you speak
2. Remember, tone of voice is essential! Speak in a calm voice
3. Ask questions to gather all the facts
4. Utilize Active Listening Technique!
5. Focus on the problem, not the person
6. Empathy
Avoid:

Name calling
 Clashing Egos
 Blaming or threating comments- Use “I” Messages
 Defensive body language
LETS RECONCILE OUR DIFFERENCES!!!!!
“I” vs. “You” messages
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I-messages simply state a problem, without blaming
someone for it.
This makes it easier for the other side to help solve the
problem, without having to admit that they were wrong.
Ex. "I felt let down," rather than "You broke your promise"
“I” vs. “You” messages
“I” statements
“YOU” statements
Non Threatening
Threatening
Neutral Opinion
Initiates defensive
response
“Attacking”
Can be difficult
Automatic reaction
“I” Message vs. “You” Message
Aggressive (“You”) Message
What not to say
“You
idiot! You took my client and
cost me money. You owe me big
time.”
“Why
are you always late? It’s
really annoying.”
Assertive (“I”) Message
What to say
“I’m
upset that my client was taken
away from me.”
“I
worry about you when you don’t
show up.”
How to construct and “I”
sentence
I feel
_________________________________ (say
your feeling)
 when you
_____________________________ (describe
the action)
 because
_______________________________ (say
why the action connects to
your feeling)
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Warm-Up Feb. 4th
1.
2.
3.
Create your own “I” message sentence to a
friend who is asking you to skip your fathers
50th birthday party to go to the movies.
List the 4 C’s for building healthy
relationships.
What is conflict resolution? What is the most
important thing to remember when you are
dealing with a conflict?
Listening Skills
Hearing is not listening!!!
 Active Listening
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Listening while involving yourself in the
conversation
 The average listener retains and understands
about 30% of what he/ she hears
 Paying careful attention without judging or
interrupting
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80% of our waking lives are spent hearing.
Techniques for Active Listening
1.
Restating

2.
Clarifying
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3.
Restate or summarize what the other person said
Ask questions to show your attention
Encouragement
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Provide statement/gestures to encourage more
conversation
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4.
“I see”, “Un-Huh”, Head Nod
Empathy
1.
2.
Try to understand their feelings
Put yourself in their shoes
Body Language Skills
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Body Language = Non-Verbal Communication
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The message you send to others based on the
way your body looks.
 Eye
contact
 Posture
 Gestures
 Behaviors
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As much as 65% of face - face communication is
non - verbal
Technological Advances
Cell Phones
 E-mail
 Text Messaging
 Internet
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Chat rooms
Questions to Debate
1.
Has the advancement of technology
improved or hurt the communication skills of
today’s youth?
2.
Is e-mail an effective method of handling
relationship issues? How about texting?
3.
Should teens be permitted to use online
chat rooms or blogs?
Bell Ringer Feb. 5th

Describe 3 ways that technology has helped
the communication skills of todays youth and
3 ways it has hurt the communication skills of
todays youth.
Alright, So how do I start/maintain
a conversation with a person I like?
Say “Hello” and introduce yourself
 Learn about the persons interests/ Find
Commonalities
 Talk about things you both can discuss
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Surrounding, School, Likes/Dislikes, Hypothetical
Listen to the other persons responses
 Make “Eye Contact” but do not stare
 Use previously taught skills
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Conversation Starters
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Focus on other person, not self
Stay positive
Avoid controversy (religion, politics, ect..)
Examples:
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You look really nice, where did you get….(item)
Have you seen any movie lately, what did you think?
What kind of music/TV/activities do you like?
What do you normally do for fun?
Have you ever (activity) ….?
Do you like sports (other topic)?
Have you ever been to (Place)?
Constructive Feedback
No one is perfect!
 Sometimes, people do things that you do not
appreciate.
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Ex. Make you late for a movie
 Ex. Name calling or blaming.
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Constructive Feedback- non-hostile comments
that points out problem and encourages
improvement
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TIPS: “I” Messages, Tone, Body Language
Feedback Sandwich
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When giving Constructive Feedback, use this
method to help communication with others.
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Step 1 (+)- Give compliment
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Step 2- Inform person of the problem in a nonthreatening way
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Step 3 (+) - Offer steps for improvement
Character Essay
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Directions:
Think about a relationship situation where you had the
opportunity to demonstrate good character traits.
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Pick your top 3 character traits (Examples: respect, trust,
honesty, loyalty, reliability) Each paragraph will demonstrate
a different character trait.
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Write 3 paragraphs (5-6 sentences per paragraph) describing
the situation and how you responded. What would have
happened to your relationship if you had done something
different (opposite)?