Transcript Document
Empowering Teens through Communication Nellie Mok Social Worker Knowing TEENS T E E N S Trust Expectations Empathy Needs Skills Trust Showing interest in the child Commitment to quality time Keeping confidentiality Keeping your promise Being an active listener Expectations Willingness to hear what the teens has to say Genuinely want to say what you want to Able to accept the teens’ messages and feelings Able to appreciate that the feelings are transitory and not permanent Empathy A process of putting oneself into another person’s world and experiencing the feelings Focus is on the teens’ feelings Needs Self Family Friends Schools Community/Society Communication Skills What? Why? When? Where? How? PROBLEM TO SKILL 01 It’s more fun for children to learn skills than to try to get rid of problems A problem is finger pointing to a skill the child needs to learn or to become better at. If we focus on the problem we have missed the point. How to communicate Listening skills Reflecting skills LISTENING SKILLS Two-way communication involving our ears, heart, eyes and mouth LISTENING SKILLS Guidelines for Effective Listening Listen for message content Listen for feelings Note all cues-verbal & non-verbal Respond to feelings Reflect back to the teen in your own words what you have heard REFLECTING SKILLS Acknowledge what you have heard and understood Use “I” statement & pace at the teen’s response Ask open-ended questions to seek clarifications BAD COMMUNICATION HABITS Fact-Finder - seeking information & ignoring feelings Fix-it - solving the problem for another Advisor - telling another what to do Judge - evaluating other’s feelings BENEFITS OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Frees the teens from her hostility Frees the teens from the need to her behaviours Frees the teens from negative energy Enables the teens to be understood Facilitates problem solving Teens culture Speak their language Be familiar with their changing trends, customs, music, dress code etc Some teens may not trust adults easily, so do not widen the gap Take a learner’s position to want to understand the teens Relationship = Quality time spent with teens LISTEN When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice… you have not done what I ask When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way… you are trampling on my feelings When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you must do something to solve my problems… you have failed me, strange as that may be LISTEN Perhaps that’s why prayer works for some people Because God is silent … He doesn’t offer advice or try to fix things He just listens and trusts you to work it out for yourself So please, just listen and hear me… And if you want to talk, wait a few minutes for your turn and I promise I will listen to you! Thank You