Transcript Chapter 5
Academic Survival Employing Interdependence Presentation based on: Downing, Skip. On Course: Strategies for Creating Success in College and Life, 3rd Ed. Interdependence Successful Students Struggling Students Develop mutually supportive relationships, recognizing that life is richer when giving to and receiving from others. Remain dependent, co-dependent, or independent in relation to others. Interdependence Successful Students Struggling Students Create a support network, using an interactive team approach to success. Work alone, seldom cooperating with others for the common good of all. Interdependence Successful Students Struggling Students Strengthen relationships with active listening, showing their concern for the other person’s thoughts and feelings. Listen poorly, demonstrating little desire to understand another person’s perspective. Interdependence In our relationships with other people, there are four common types of people: • Dependent people believe that most of the work in accomplishing their goals will have to be done by others. A dependent person takes too much from others. • Co-dependent people believe that they can pursue their goals as soon as they have helped others achieve their goals. A codependent person gives too much. Interdependence •Independent people – believe that they can get what they want all by themselves without the help of anyone. An independent person seldom gives or receives. •Interdependent people – believe that they can accomplish what they want mostly by themselves, but will be able to accomplish MORE and have more fun if they give and receive help. The interdependent person finds a balance between giving and receiving. Interdependence Successful students create a supportive team and maximize college success by: •Seeking assistance from instructors •Creating study partnerships, project teams •Seeking assistance from librarian and other academic assistance personnel •Seeking assistance from advisors, counselors •Using the assistance of community resources •Engaging the help of family members Interdependence The most important characteristic in a healthy mutually supportive relationship is the ability to be an active listener. How to listen actively: 1. Listen to understand. (empathy) 2. Clear your mind and remain silent. (silence) 3. Ask the person to expand or clarify. (expansion / clarification) 4. Reflect the other person’s thoughts and feelings. (reflection) Believing in Yourself: Be Assertive Two obstacles to building effective relationships are placating and blaming. Placating – when an individual acts as a victim by placing themselves below others so as to avoid the criticism or judgment of others. Blaming – when an individual acts as a victim by blaming all failures, trials, or problems on others. Creator Communication Effective communication occurs through leveling – the ability to act as a creator by using simple, yet profound communication that asserts the truth as you see it. • Communicate purposefully – express a clear purpose for your communication even in times of upset. • Communicate honestly – express unpopular thoughts and upset feelings in the service of building healthy relationships. Creator Communication • Communicate responsibly – express thoughts using an I-message. These message contain four elements: 1. 2. 3. 4. A statement of the situation (When you…) A statement of your reaction (I felt / thought / decided…) A request (I’d like to ask that you…) An invitation to respond (Will you agree to that?) Making Requests Making effective requests is a vital skill for successful students to develop. Always approach requests from a creator’s voice rather than a victim’s voice. Requests are most effective when the DAPPS principle is applied: dated, achievable, personal, positive, and specific. Victim I’m going to be absent next Friday. It sure would be nice if someone would let me know if I miss anything. Creator John, I’m going to be absent next Friday. Would you be willing to call me Friday night and tell me what I missed. Saying NO! NO is not a rude word. Use it when you simply cannot commit to the request of others. NO requires no further explanation, it is a complete sentence all by itself.