Transcript 3. Jewish Marriage

Set Form – liminal stage
Set Form – liminal
In Orthodox Judaism
• On the day of the wedding
• The couple fast before the ceremony,
• as they prepare for a solemn as well as a
joyful occasion.
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The process of marriage occurs in
two distinct stages:
• kiddushin (commonly
translated as betrothal)
• nisuin (full-fledged
marriage; literally
elevation).
and
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In the past
• the kiddushin and nisuin would routinely
occur as much as a year apart,
• however today the two ceremonies are
normally performed together.
• The ceremony
itself lasts
20-30 minutes.
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Wedding ceremony
• Stage 1 - Kiddushin
• Stage 2 - Nisuin
• Greeting the Groom and
Bride - The Kabbalat
Panim
• The Veiling of the Kallah The Badeken
• Escorting the Chatan and
Kallah
• Circling the Chatan
• The Betrothal
Benediction - Kiddushin
• The Seven Marriage
Blessings - Sheva
Berachot
• The Breaking of the Glass
• Entering the Private
Room – Yichud
• The Wedding Feast Seudat Mitzva
The reading of the Ketubah acts as a break between
the two stages of the wedding
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Greeting the Groom and Bride The Kabbalat Panim
• As the guests begin to arrive, the groom and
the bride are greeted in Separate receptions,
called Kabbalat Panim,
• in separate reception rooms since the groom
and bride do not see each other for the week
prior to the wedding until the veiling
ceremony (Badeken).
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The men, including the
• ushers, arrive first. This is known as the
groom’s Tish – the time when the groom,
ushers and male family members gather for
song and prayers before the ceremony.
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The bride is seated on a special
• "throne," from which she greets her guests.
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At this time there is a tradition
• for the mother of the bride and the mother of
the groom to stand together and break a plate.
• The reason is to show the seriousness of the
commitment - symbolizing that just as the
breaking of the plate is irreversible, so should
the engagement be everlasting.
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In the groom's reception area
• the "Ketubah," a
legal document
dating back about
2,000 years, is then
signed and witnessed.
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The "Ketubah,"
• shows that marriage is more
than a physical-spiritual
union;
• it is a legal and moral
commitment. (The kallah
does not sign the ketubah).
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The Veiling of the Kallah - The
Badeken
• Is usually carried out immediately before the
processional of the bride, groom and attendants.
• It takes place in another room while
guests are being seated.
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The veiling of the bride
• The veil symbolizes the
idea of modesty and
conveys the lesson that
however attractive
physical appearances
may be, the soul and
character are paramount.
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The chatan, accompanied by family
and friends,
• proceeds to the
kallah's room and
places the veil over
her face.
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This is an ancient custom
• and serves as the first of
many actions by which
the groom signals his
commitment to clothe
and protect his wife.
• It is reminiscent of
Rebecca covering her
face before marrying
Isaac.
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When the groom veils his bride
• he is saying, “I will love, cherish and respect
not only the ‘you,’
which is revealed to me,
but also those elements
of your personality
that are hidden from me.
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As I am bonding with you in
marriage
• I am committed to
creating a space
within me for the
totality of your being
– for all of you, all of
the time.”
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When the groom veils his bride
• Her face remains veiled
for the duration of the
ceremony, affording her
a bit of privacy at this
Holy time. At this time
the parents bless the
bride.
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The wedding ceremony takes place
under
• the chuppah (canopy), a symbol of the
home to be built and shared by the couple.
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It is open on all sides
• just as Abraham and Sarah had their tent
open all sides to welcome friends and
relatives in unconditional hospitality.
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The chuppah consists of
• a cloth or sheet — sometimes
a tallit ("prayershawl") —
stretched or supported over
four poles, and is sometimes
carried by attendants to the
ceremony location.
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A traditional chuppah
• especially within Orthodox Judaism,
recommends that there be open sky exactly
above the chuppah. (under the stars, as a
sign of the blessing given by God to the
patriarch Abraham, that his children shall
be as the stars of the heavens).
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A traditional chuppah
• If the wedding ceremony is held indoors in
a hall, sometimes a special opening is built
to be opened during the ceremony.
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In a spiritual sense
• the covering of the chuppah represents the
presence of God over the covenant of
marriage. As a man's skull cap served as a
reminder of the Creator above all, (also a
symbol of separation from God), so the
chuppah was erected to signify that the
ceremony and institution of marriage has
divine origins.
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The chatan and kallah
• will wear no jewellery
under the chuppah.
Their mutual
commitment to one
another is based on who
they are as people not on
their respective material
possessions.
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Escorting the Chatan and Kallah
• The Chatan and Kallah are escorted from
the reception room. They are escorted by
two married couples (usually the parents
of the Chatan and Kallah) who hold them
under the hand.
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Escorting the Chatan and Kallah
• They are there to assist the Groom and
Bride, take them by the hand and give
them encouragement at this critical
moment in life.
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The escorts each carry a lit candle
• as Jewish custom associates light with joy.
(Esther 8:16)
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Another explanation for this custom
• is that candles are reminiscent of the
flickering light and fire which occurred at
the time of the giving of the Torah - the
marriage of God (the Chatan) and Israel
(the Kallah) under the "Chuppah" of
Mount Sinai.
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The bride and groom
are escorted
• because Adam and Eve were
escorted by angels to their
wedding.
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Once under the chuppah
• The couple stand facing the
rabbi or official conducting
this part of the ceremony.
• Forming a square, the fathers
of the couple stand on the
groom’s left and the mothers
on the bride’s right.
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Once under the chuppah
• the Kallah (bride) circles the Chatan seven
times to show this is the man she wishes to
marry.
• There are a number of explanations for this
custom.
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The number seven
• corresponds with the seven
times in the Tenakh where
it is written “when a man
takes a wife.’
• Just as the world was
created in seven days, the
kallah is figuratively
building the walls of the
couple's new home.
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The action also
• represents the role the
wife will play in
creating an allembracing, religious
warmth within the
home.
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This act also recalls
• the seven times Joshua
circled the walls of Jericho
to bring down its walls.
Similarly, she circles him
seven times to break down
any walls that might remain
between them and that she
has “captured” his heart.
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Among other reasons
• the circling has come to symbolize the seven
expressions of betrothal between God, (the
groom) and Israel, (the bride). "I will betroth
thee unto Me forever. I will betroth thee unto
Me in mercy, and in judgment, and in loving
kindness, and in righteousness: I will betroth
thee unto me in faithfulness, and you shall
know God (Hosea 2:21-22)".
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This act also recalls
• the seven times that the Tefillin straps are
wrapped around a man's arm. Just as a man
binds himself in love to God, so is his bond in
love to his bride.
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The number seven represents
• the completion of the seven day process in
which earth was created. During these seven
days, the earth revolved on its axis seven times.
Since marriage reenacts the creative process,
the Kallah's encirclement symbolises the
repetition of these seven earthly rotations.
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The Betrothal Benediction –
Kiddushin
• The first benediction of actual marriage
ceremony is said over a cup of wine, the
traditional symbol of sanctification, joy and
abundance.
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This is followed by the main marriage
benediction
• pronouncing the sanctity
of this special moment
and the holy directives
from God on the sanctity
and purity of a proper,
holy marriage through a
Chuppah and act of
sanctification.
• The Chatan and Kallah
each take a sip of wine.
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In the presence of two witnesses
• the Chatan now places a gold ring on the
Kallah's right forefinger.
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As the Chatan places the ring on her
finger he says:
• " Behold, you are consecrated unto me with
this ring in accordance to the Law of Moses
and Israel."(The ring is later transferred to the
finger usual in the country of the wedding).
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The ring
• is later transferred to the
finger usually used in the
country of the wedding.
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In Orthodox congregations
• The groom does not receive a
ring.
• Conservative congregations
follow the Orthodox form, but
it is usual for the bride at
this point to give the groom a
ring.
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In many reform congregations
• Both the bride and groom
recite the English words,
“With this ring I thee wed.”
• The words of both formulas
constitutes the vows of
Jewish marriage.
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The ring should be made of plain gold
• without blemishes or ornamentation (e.g.
stones) - just as it is hoped that the marriage
will be one of simple beauty. As a simple
unbroken circle, it alludes to a marriage
unmarred by conflict or distraction.
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The ring is
• a symbol of eternity.
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This act is called Kiddushin
• - sanctification, signifying the uniqueness of
the Jewish marriage where God Himself
dwells in their home and the relationship is
elevated to a new level of holiness - a
transcendent dimension that permeates
every moment of their lives from this
moment on.
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The couple are now
• set apart from others for each other.
• A lifelong commitment is implied,
• but Judaism does not believe that people can
promise this in vows.
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The first half of the ceremony is now
completed
• Next the ceremony focuses on the marriage
contract or
Ketubah
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As part of the wedding ceremony
• the husband gives the wife a ketubah (marriage
contact). The "Ketubah" (literally meaning
writing) is read aloud in Aramaic with an English
summary. (While it is traditional to have the
ketubah written in Aramaic many Orthodox Jews
also have an English translation).
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In marriage, the chatan accepts upon
himself
• certain marital responsibilities which are detailed
in the Ketubah. His principal obligations are to
provide food, shelter, clothing and sexual
satisfaction to his wife, and to be attentive to her
emotional needs.
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The ketubah spells out
• conditions of inheritance upon his death, and
obligations regarding the support of children of
the marriage. It also provides for the wife's
support in the event of divorce.
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There are standard conditions;
• however, additional conditions can be included
by mutual agreement. Marriage agreements of
this sort were commonplace in the ancient
Semitic world and have much in common with
prenuptial agreements of today.
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The document is signed by two
witnesses
• and has the standing of a legally binding
agreement.
• The Ketubah is the property of the kallah and she
must have access to it throughout their marriage.
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It is often written amidst beautiful
artwork
• to be framed and displayed in the home.
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In the presence of two witnesses
• The groom accepts the ketubah by taking hold of
a handkerchief given to him by the officiating
rabbi.
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The signed ketubah is
• Presented to the bride.
In some Orthodox communities
• The groom reads and agrees to the ketubah before
the ceremony begins.
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In Conservative Judaism
• Both the bride and groom often sign a simple
marriage certificate,
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a practice that is followed in all
progressive congregations.
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The reading of the Ketubah
• acts as a break between the first part of the
ceremony - Kiddushin (betrothal), and the latter
part - Nissuin (marriage).
• The nissuin then proceeds.