Transcript Marriage in Judaism

Jewish Marriage
Impact on the Community & Individual
Jewish – ritual & ethical guidance for
marriage
Jewish Marriage
Biblical/Talmudic Foundations
The Ketubah
Teachings
About
Marriage
Teachings
About
Divorce
Jewish Marriage
 BIBLICAL & TALMUDIC FOUNDATIONS
 Judaism rates marriage very highly – it serves the purpose
of propagation of the human species, to fulfil the command
given in Genesis (1: 27-28). To marry and have children is
the first command given to humanity in the Torah
 The second purpose of marriage is companionship – it is
seen as the way to physical and spiritual fulfilment. Sex is
not just for producing children, but is also a way to express
and deepen love – to make a bond between man & woman
so that they can build a happy marriage.
Jewish Marriage
 From the beginning, it is seen to be God’s design that there
are male & female and that man should cherish a woman in
an intimate relationship.
 Marriage is often compared to God’s eternal covenant with
Israel – it should be life-long and divorce is regarded with
sadness.
 Third purpose is to establish the family as the basic social
unit and the home as the little sanctuary in which the
father is like a priest, the mother like a priestess, and the
dining room table like an altar.
 Stresses harmony & unity in family relationships – here
that the Jewish religion can be practised, experienced
Jewish Marriage
 and transmitted from generation to generation .
 For both man & woman, marriage is seen as desirable. It is
in the ties & obligations of marriage that God is to be
hallowed. This idea is very clearly expressed in the
Hebrew word for marriage KIDDUSHIN meaning
sanctification.
 Marriage is a sacred relationship, a setting apart.
Faithfulness, loyalty and mutual respect are expected in a
Jewish marriage
 In marriage one woman is set apart for one man –
monogamy had been the norm in Jewish life
Jewish Marriage
 THE KETUBAH :
 Some 2000 yrs ago, Judaism created the “ketubah”, or
marriage contract, the first document in the history of the
world to protect the rights of women.
 Immediately before the marriage ceremony, the ketubah is
signed by two qualified witnesses, who attest to the
promises made by the groom to the bride.
 In modern times this may seem antiquated – many Reform
& Conservative wedding ceremonies do not use the
ketubah – instead the bride & groom are given a Certificate
of Marriage.
 Orthodox ceremonies still issue a ketubah to the bride
Jewish Marriage
 Ketubah still an integral part of Orthodox ceremonies for
two reasons:
 1) links the bride & groom to every Jewish couple, in
every generation, who has been married according to
Jewish law
 2) reminds the bride & groom, in this generation, to protect
each other in the same way that those of past generations
did
Jewish Marriage
 TEACHINGS ABOUT MARRIAGE :
 Nature of Marriage –
 A married couple is considered as a complete organism,
where the qualities of each contribute to the fulfilment of
the whole – in Jewish thought marriage makes it possible
for men & women to develop their personalities as
complete individuals
 According to Talmudic law, the requirement to be fruitful
& multiply is fulfilled when a man has fathered at least one
son and one daughter – thereafter Orthodox Jews allow
contraception
Jewish Marriage
 Progressive Judaism leaves these matters (of
contraception) to the couple to decide for themselves
 Questions about the acceptability of homosexual
relationships do not arise in Orthodox Judaism as they are
condemned in the Torah (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13)
 The debate is alive in Reform Judaism.
 Both Reform & Orthodox agree in their condemnation of
infidelity, promiscuity and sexual exploitation – they also
agree that in marriage one woman is set apart for one man
in faithfulness, loyalty & mutual respect.
Jewish Marriage
 Niddah:
 For much of their married life, a couple’s relationship will
be regulated by the laws of family purity.
 Each month, from the time her period starts until she has
immersed in a mikvah or ritual bath, a wife is in a state of
“niddah” or separateness from her husband – seen to allow
renewal in the marriage – the Talmud describes it as being
under the wedding canopy again.
 Many Jewish women, whether Orthodox, Conservative or
Reform, find that the niddah gives them a sense of identity
& holiness
Jewish Marriage
 MARRIAGES BETWEEN JEWS AND NON-JEWS:
 Many Jews now marry non-Jews – this is called ‘outmarriage’ – i.e. marrying out of the faith – Judaism is
opposed to this because of its effect on the Jewish home
 May result in children that are not Jewish (mother has to
be Jewish)
 Central role of marriage – raising of a Jewish family –
Orthodox view is that this can only be achieved when two
committed Jewish partners set up a Jewish home together.
 No-one who is not Jewish can be married in a synagogue –
rabbis can’t participate in non-Jewish cere.
Jewish Marriage
 PARENTS AND CHILDREN:
 Weekly Shabbat is a special time for families to be together
– relaxed atmosphere / traditions
 Judaism teaches that parents & children have certain
responsibilities towards one another – parents are expected
to feed, clothe & educate their children and see that they
can support themselves – for Jews these are religious
obligations – raise their children to be moral people
 Children, are expected to take care of their parents – they
must treat them with respect and avoid hurting their
feelings or causing them even minor irritations
Jewish Divorce
 TEACHINGS ABOUT DIVORCE:
 From the earliest times, the belief that marriage is a
lifelong bond, whatever happens, has not been part of the
Jewish faith.
 The book of Deuteronomy states the biblical permission
and procedure for divorce (24:1-4;22:13-21;28-29)
 Under Jewish law, a man can divorce his wife for any or
no reason – this does not mean that Judaism takes divorce
lightly. Many aspects of Jewish Law discourage divorce.
 The procedural details involved in arranging a divorce are
complex and exacting
Jewish Divorce
 Complications arise if only one partner wants a divorce.
 Judaism simply recognises that marriages fail and grants a
divorce – it is not concerned with other people’s judging
and blaming.
 Yet before a divorce, the couple is encouraged to make
every effort to overcome their problems and save their
marriage.
 Even though they believe that God intended marriage to be
for life, it also maintains that it is better for a couple to
divorce than to stay together in a state of constant
bitterness and strife.
Jewish Divorce
 THE DIVORCE PROCESS:
 A section of the Mishnah is devoted to the subject of
divorce – it develops the basic procedure laid down in
Deuteronomy 24.
 This rests on a man handing his wife a bill of divorce,
known as a “get” – it is always a man who gives the get –
the assumed legal superiority of the man goes back to the
biblical times.
 There are many Jews who think this inequality is
unacceptable today. Reform Jews do not have a get or any
religious divorce procedure. A civil divorce dissolves the
marriage.
Jewish Divorce
 Orthodox still follow this method – without a get a woman
cannot remarry in an Orthodiox synagogue.
 A woman whose husband is missing also remains married
– she is “agunah” (anchored) and cannot remarry
according to Jewish law.
 Reform Judaism rejects the whole idea of agunah as
unethical and they do not require a get before remarriage.
 In most countries there is a civil divorce before a religious
one. In all countries it is the “Bet Din” made up of at least
3 rabbis which carries out the religious divorce.
Jewish Marriage / Divorce
 The husband can then remarry straightaway, whilst the
wife must wait 90 days in case of pregnancy.
 The formality and solemnity of the occasion correspond to
those of the marriage ceremony – the couple are appearing
as people undoing before God the commitment they once
made.
 Without a Jewish divorce, no person who has been
previously married can be married again with an Orthodox
or Conservative rabbi officiating. The Reform movement
does not require a get in order to terminate a Jewish
marriage – contending that the divorce decree of the civil
court is sufficient – so Reform rabbis will officiate at a
second marriage
Jewish Divorce
 Civil divorce is required to precede religious divorce,
otherwise it is not recognised by Australian Law
 If two people chose to undergo a Jewish marriage
ceremony that is recognised as a valid marriage in
Australia, the law should not enable one of those spouses
to later claim, upon the breakdown and civil dissolution of
the marriage, that he or she objects to undergoing a Jewish
divorce on grounds such as a change in beliefs or level of
religious observance.