Loss and Grief for Children and Adolescents
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Transcript Loss and Grief for Children and Adolescents
Loss and Grief for Children
and Adolescents
Graham Martin OAM, MD,
FRANZCP, DPM
[email protected]
Personal reflections
Death and Children in 2007
Children may experience meaningful loss
through death of
Grandparents, Parents or Siblings
Animals
Death on Television though the News,
or more likely through programs is more
frequent, but may have less impact.
Acute Loss Syndrome
Psychological and Somatic Symptoms
May appear immediately, or delayed
May be exaggerated or apparently
absent
May appear to be a distorted aspect of
one part of the syndrome
Is amenable to support, care, but needs
to run its course
Symptoms
Somatic Distress - often in waves
A sense of unreality, with increased emotional
distancing
Often an intense preoccupation with the image of the
dead
Feelings of responsibility or guilt
Disconcerting loss of warmth in relationship, with
irritability or anger
Changes in patterns of conduct
Traits of the deceased may appear in the behaviour
of the child
Death of a mother
Universally accepted as more traumatic
Shock, disbelief, denial may be followed
by episodes of panic
Regression
Compensation
Clinging to a mother substitute
Death of a father
All the previous symptoms may occur
Death of a father may be more difficult
for a boy
Death of a sibling
Regret or Guilt may be prominent
Profiting from extra parental attention
Struggling with the reaction of parents
A ‘replacement’ child can have special
problems
Grieving in Infancy
During the first 2 years there may be no true
understanding of death
However, stages of loss (Bowlby, 1958) may
appear:
Protest
Despair
Detachment
There may be later problems with
attachment, or an inability to trust that others
will ‘always’ be there
From age 3
May have more comprehension
May be able to discuss the death
May act out fears and fantasies
May not have concept of death as final;
this may lead to anxieties over sleep
Separation anxiety is common, and
dependency may be strong
Grief work through play
From about age 6
May accept that death is final
May have resulting fears around own
finiteness
Personification of Death
Grief work more verbal
From about age 10
More emotionally mature with an
understanding of the finiteness of death
Most of the intellectual tools to
understand death and its context
Delayed or distorted reactions can
occur
Distorted grief reactions
Overactivity with no sense of loss
Taking on traits of the deceased
A psychosomatic disorder
Alteration of relationships with friends and
siblings
Hostility to certain people (eg professionals)
Withdrawal
Problems at school
Aggressive acting out
Depression with agitation
The Funeral
Whatever our core religious beliefs,
some ceremony is necessary for us to
celebrate a life and acknowledge the
passing
All children should be present and take
part in the mourning as far as they can