Transcript She took an apple from under the tree.

Elements of Voice
• Writing with a clear voice
doesn’t just happen; it requires
conscious choices
• You must practice the basic
elements of voice
DICTION
•Diction refers to the
choice of words and
is the foundation of
voice and all good
writing
Diction Exercise
• Let’s take a simple sentence and see how it
• would be possible to rewrite it:
She took an apple from under the tree.
First, let’s alter the order, or syntax: From under the
tree she took an apple. She, from under the tree,
took an apple. From under the tree, an apple she
took. They all make sense; we haven’t altered the basic
meaning. But all three of these altered versions change
something: The first brings the rhyme (she/tree) closer
together. The second plays on our notion of suspense.
The third sounds like it belongs in a ballad or some
other form where the “took” at the end of the sentence is
there either for emphasis, or to set up a rhyme (“ . . . that
crook!”).
• Now let’s alter the vocabulary: She picked
up a fruit from the ground, where it lay.
She pilfered an apple that had fallen
from its tree. The lovely woman
stooped and grabbed the fallen apple.
In all three versions we have the basic
elements— a woman, an apple, a tree —
but they are given different emphasis.
• A poet reworks diction, not always
to the best effect. Let’s combine
some of the altered vocabulary and
syntax from above: From under the
tree a lovely woman pilfered a fruit.
Well, maybe, but the diction should
be working toward a single effect,
or enhancing an image, or
accommodating meter.
Instructions on DICTION
• Try rewriting the following simple phrases by
altering diction (syntax, vocabulary, or both)
while preserving the original sense. Think of
each as a single line: You don't necessarily
have to expand or elaborate to alter diction.
What effect are you trying to achieve? Write
your responses in your NOTEBOOK.
• I was awash in memories, reliving the
innocence of times past.
Then, without warning, a knock came at the
door.
They watched a pretty red sunset.
“My Papa’s Waltz”
Theodore Roethke
• The whiskey on your breath
Could make a small boy dizzy;
But I hung on like death:
Such waltzing was not easy.
We romped until the pans
Slid from the kitchen shelf;
My mother’s countenance
Could not unfrown itself.
The hand that held my wrist
Was battered on one knuckle;
At every step you missed
My right ear scraped a buckle.
You beat time on my head
With a palm caked hard by dirt,
Then waltzed me off to bed
Still clinging to your shirt.
The poem is relatively brief,
with clipped-sounding lines,
and its language is for the
most part reflective of a
child’s vocabulary and thus
a child’s perspective. Most
of the words are
monosyllabic, and if they are
longer they are disyllabic,
with one notable exception:
the word countenance in line
7. The unusual diction in
lines 6 and 7 stand out and
give special weight to that
section of the poem.
•
line 4 - "was not easy"
• This understated
observation
emphasizes that we are
partially, even largely, in
the mind of a child in
this poem. There are
more precise ways to
describe the dance, but
a child would probably
not use a more
sophisticated
vocabulary.
•
lines 7/8 - "My mother’s
countenance / Could not unfrown
itself."
•
These are unusual and
arresting lines in terms of
diction, and they signal a
change in the poem. Not only is
countenance a relatively
unusual word for facial
expression, but the idea that the
countenance has control over
itself is odd. Also, unfrown is a
made-up word, albeit one
whose meaning is clear
enough. These lines give
special emphasis to the
speaker’s consciousness of his
mother. She is not mentioned
anywhere else in the poem, but
her disapproval of this scene
and her apparent inability to do
anything about it except scowl
intensify the danger of the
situation. If there is something
potentially tragic about the
interaction between father and
child, there is also an audience
for the tragedy.
Questions for Response
1). How does this
examination of
diction change
your
understanding of
how the poem
works as a
whole?
2). Find other
parts of the poem
in which diction
is important.
What do they
contribute to the
work?
Detail
• Detail refers to the facts, observations,
and incidents that develop a topic
• Writing is flat and boring without detail
Figurative Language
• Figurative language is the use of
words in an unusual way to reveal
new meaning, meaning that is not
literal and makes the reader think
Imagery
• Imagery is the use of words to
capture a sensory experience
(what you hear, see, smell,
taste, or touch).
• Imagery brings life to what you
write and makes it seem real.
Syntax
• Syntax includes sentence structure,
word order, and punctuation.
Tone
•Tone is the
expression of
attitude in
writing.
DICTION
• THE AUTHOR’S CHOICE OF WORDS
• JUST AS A PAINTER USES COLOR AND
LIGHT OR A MUSICIAN USES SOUNDS
AND RHYTHM, A WRITER USES
WORDS.
• THE PERFECT WORD IS CLEAR,
CONCRETE, AND EXACT.
FORBIDDEN WORDS
• GOOD
• NICE
• PRETTY
• BEAUTIFUL
• FINE
• BAD
• THING
• REALLY
• VERY
• TERRIBLE
• WONDERFUL
• A LOT
You Can Do It!!!!!
• Effective diction gives freshness and
originality to writing. When you use
words in surprising and unusual ways,
you have the power to make people
think, laugh, or examine new ideas.
That’s a gift and a responsibility. Learn
to experiment and play with words.
You need a good vocabulary in order to
be a good writer.
Read and Think
• A redheaded woman was there with Trout. Kate
could see her rummaging through the cabin,
dumping drawers and knocking things from the
shelves of cabinets.
• 1. What picture do you get in your mind when
you read the second sentence?
• 2. How would the meaning of the sentence
change if we changed some of the words? For
example:
Kate could see her searching through the
cabin, emptying drawers and taking things
off of the shelves of cabinets.
Now You Try It!!!!!!!
• Write a sentence describing a small
boy making a mess in a restaurant.
Choose words that are clear, concrete,
and exact. Start a collection of
“perfect” Words you can use later in
your writing.
Perfect Words
PERFECT ACTION
WORDS (VERBS)
• stand / slouch
PERFECT WORDS
TO DESCRIBE
(ADJECTIVES)
• pretty / delicate