Transcript Writing Tips - Net Start Class

College Essay Writing Tips
Do use a good HOOK to get your
reader involved immediately!
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Hook Ideas for a story about a shark attack:
Original boring lead:
I fell out of the boat. I saw a shark.
Reaction Lead: (describe a reaction to what is
happening)
 I was a motionless corpse in a churning sea, and the
only thing more terrifying than the shark coming at
me, was the paralyzing fear that had taken over my
body.
 Dialogue Lead: (start with a quote)
 “If you don’t hurry up and throw me a line, I’m as
good as shark chum!” I screeched to the boat
captain.
Do use a good HOOK to get your
reader involved immediately!
 Action Lead: (use descriptive words and
strong verbs to show what is happening)
 Like a squirming, angry serpent, the boat
swallowed me, then spit me out into the
shark-infested sea.
 Characterization Lead – illuminate the
person through action, dialogue, and a
few choice details
 The shark’s eyes were dark and lifeless. In its
sleek design, I sensed no humanity, just the
perfect eating machine. Suddenly, a voice
from deep inside me rose to the surface and
screamed, “You are not going to die like this!”
Do use a good HOOK to get your
reader involved immediately!
 Setting Lead – describe the time and place
where the action takes place
 It was daybreak, and I surfaced from my dive
only to discover I was all alone in the middle
of the ocean. Miles and miles of endless sea
stretched on forever with nothing in sight
except a deadly gray fin slowly circling me.
 Allusion Lead – a reference to another
person, place, or thing
 It was like a scene out of the movie Jaws, I
saw the shark in the water, and said to the
captain, “We need a bigger boat.”
Do use a variety of sentences
 Simple sentences: one subject and one
predicate (action)
 EX: Mary studied all week long for her
Algebra test on Friday.
 Compound sentences: two subjects and
two predicates joined by a coordinating
conjunction (FANBOYS)
 Mary studied all week long for her
Algebra test on Friday, so she made the
highest grade in the class.
Do use a variety of sentences
 FANBOYS join two simple
sentences that are connected in
meaning.
For, and, nor, but, or, yet, so
Note: there is always a comma
before the coordinating
conjunction
Do use a variety of sentences
 Complex sentences – have a dependent and
independent clause
 They have subordinating conjunctions in
them:
 after, although, as, because, before, even
though, if, since, unless, until, while
 After Mary aced her math test, she felt really
proud of herself.
 Mary felt really proud of herself after she
aced her math test.
Do use a variety of sentences
 Note: When the subordinating conjunction
comes at the beginning of the sentence,
place a comma between the
dependent/independent clause.
 After Mary aced her math test, she felt really
proud of herself.
 However, when the subordinating conjunction
is in the middle, there is no comma.
 Mary felt really proud of herself after she
aced her math test.
Do use a variety of sentences
 Use appositives to combine two simple
sentences.
 Mary brother’s car is the envy of my friends. It
is a sporty, red convertible with bucket seats.
 My brother's car, a sporty, red convertible
with bucket seats, is the envy of my friends.
 An appositive or appositive phrase renames a
noun.
Do improve word choice by replacing
these words with more vivid
synonyms:
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A LOT
GREAT
VERY
ALSO
MANY
YOU
BAD
NICE
GOT
YOUR(S)
BIG
FUN
REAL
REALLY
GET
STUFF
GOOD
Do use appropriate transition devices
to connect your sentences:
TO ADD OR SHOW SEQUENCE
again, also, and, and then, besides, equally important, finally, first,
further, furthermore, in addition, in the first place, last, moreover,
next, second, still, too
TO COMPARE
also, in the same way, likewise, similarly
TO CONTRAST
although, and yet, but, but at the same time, despite, even so,
even though, for all that, however,
in contrast, in spite of, nevertheless, notwithstanding, on the
contrary, on the other hand, regardless, still, though, yet
TO GIVE EXAMPLES OR INTENSITY
after all, an illustration of, even, for example, for instance, indeed,
in fact, it is true, of course, specifically, that is, to illustrate, truly
Do use appropriate transition devices
to connect your sentences:
TO INDICATE PLACE
above, adjacent to, below elsewhere, farther on, here, near, nearby, on the
other side, opposite to, there, to the east, to the left
TO INDICATE TIME
after a while, afterward, as long as, as soon as, at last, at length, at that
time, before, earlier, formerly, immediately, in the meantime, in the past,
lately, later, meanwhile, now, presently, shortly, simultaneously, since, so
far, soon, subsequently, then, thereafter, until, until now, when
TO REPEAT, SUMMARIZE, OR CONCLUDE
all in all, altogether, as has been said, in brief, in conclusion, in other
words, in particular, in short, in simpler terms, in summary, on the whole,
that is, therefore,
to put it differently, to summarize
TO SHOW CAUSE OR EFFECT
accordingly, as a result, because, consequently, for this purpose, hence,
otherwise, since, then, therefore, thereupon, thus, to this end, with this
object
Do edit and revise your essay looking
for convention errors like:
 Fragments – incomplete
sentences – either missing a
subject or verb
 My puppy with the dark, brown
eyes. (Did what? – the action (verb)
in missing)
 Running through the misty, luscious
garden. (Who was running through
the garden?)
Do edit and revise your essay looking
for convention errors like:
Run-ons – two or more
sentences treated as one
My brother called me last
night after dinner he told me
he would be coming to
Houston in two more weeks.
Do edit and revise your essay looking
for convention errors like:
Homophones-words that
sound alike but have different
meanings
its/it’s
its – possessive pronoun The
cat bit its tail.
it’s (it is) – contraction Look!
It’s the cat that bit its tail.
Do edit and revise your essay looking
for convention errors like:
 More Homophones their/there/they’re
 their – possessive pronoun
Please
give them back their sweaters.
 there – adverb
Put the sweaters over
there.
 they’re - They’re going to school with
their new sweaters they’re (they are)
contraction
Do edit and revise your essay looking
for convention errors like:
 Usage errors in grammar, verb
tense, subject-verb agreement, and
passive voice
 Typical grammar errors –
 After the lightning strike, Jason ran
quick into the building.
 quick should be quickly because it
is an adverb describing to what
extent Jason ran.
Do edit and revise your essay looking
for convention errors like:
Jane and Mary went to a
movie together. We really
had a great time.
we should be they –
incorrect pronoun
replacement for Jane and
Mary
Do edit and revise your essay looking
for convention errors like:
Passive voice:
Books are read by Mary all the time.
Active voice:
Mary reads books all the time.
In a sentence using active voice, the subject of the sentence
performs the action expressed in the verb.
If you want to change a passive-voice sentence to active
voice, find the agent in a "by the..." phrase, or consider
carefully who or what is performing the action expressed in
the verb. Make that agent the subject of the sentence, and
change the verb accordingly. Sometimes you will need to
infer the agent from the surrounding sentences which
provide context.
Ex: Passive - Mistakes were made. (by?)
Active – We made mistakes.
Do edit and revise your essay looking
for convention errors like:
 Capitalization Rules
 Proper nouns – names of people and important things
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Mrs. Lukish but not the teacher
Klein Collins High School but not the high school
Proper adjectives – Mexican food, Celtic music, French pastry
Titles – Dr. George, (but not: the doctor)
President Reagan, (but not: the president)
Reverend Jones, (but not: the reverend)
Uncle John (but not: my uncle)
Book titles – To Kill a Mockingbird (but not: articles in the middle)
Holidays: Christmas but not: seasons (spring, winter, fall)
Geographical locations – the Northwest
(but not: I’m traveling northwest on I-45)
City, State: Houston, TX
In letters: Dear Frank, Sincerely, Very truly,
First word in a quote:
She said, “Go to the game after school today.”
Do edit and revise your essay looking
for convention errors like:
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Comma Rules
Items in a series – The boy likes baseball, football, golf, and basketball.
Two or more adjectives: the pretty, happy puppy
Dates: August 30, 2010
City/State: Spring, Texas
Compound sentence: Mary used to eat hamburgers for lunch, but she now
she eats hot dogs.
Complex sentence: Although my sister is younger than me, she is always telling
me what to do.
Dialogue
Frankie said, “It’s your turn to stand in line.”
“It’s your turn to stand in line,” Frankie said.
“It’s your turn,” Frankie said, “to stand in line.”
Friendly letter: Dear Frankie,
Closing of letter: Very truly,
Noun of address: Frankie, are you going to the football game?
Introductory words: Yes, I will be at the party.
Do edit and revise your essay looking
for convention errors like:
For all convention rules and
more, visit the following web
site:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/
owl/section/1/5/