Transcript 2-6 (grammar)x

SSR TIME
College Prep
2-6-13
MORE TALKING…
 Lets discuss daddies
 Focus on EVIDENCE!!!! And characterization
Lets talk about the direction
of this class
 At the beginning of the semester, we worked on arguments (claim,
evidence, warrant) and (ethos, pathos, logos).
 Right now, we are working on fiction pieces
 But WITHIN this unit we are still working on arguments (in that
every piece of fiction is an argument)
 Creating pictures with our words (a skill that is utterly paramount to
all kinds of writing)
 And characterization (not only a useful English skill, but a skill that
every person needs in their everyday lives)
 Image grammar
Cont.
 When this short, fiction unit is done…we will start working on:
 Extended definition essays
 Compare/contrast essays
 Cause/effect essays
 More formal argument essays
 Possibly a long narrative woven in throughout
 Self directed research project (that will incorporate all of the
former, technology integration, and oral presentation skills)
“Show DON’T Tell”
 Developing a grammar of style begins with the writer
learning to literally and metaphorically “see.” (remember
our “left shoe” activity? How you had to metaphorically
see your shoe?)
 When a writer lacks a visual eye, his or her writing has no
heart, no soul.
 Images lie lifeless like cadavers in a morgue.
Examples
“It was winter. Everything was frozen
and white with snow. Snow had fallen
from the sky for days. The weather was
horrible.”
 Can you see this place? Did the author show or tell?
Examples
 “Mossflower lay deep in the grip of midwinter
beneath a sky of leaden gray that showed tinges
of scarlet and orange on the horizon. A cold
mantle of snow draped the landscape, covering the
flatlands to the west. Snow was everywhere,
filling the ditches, drifting high against the
hedgerows, making paths invisible, smoothing the
contours of earth in its white embrace.”
 Did you see this? Did the author show or tell?
High School v. Professional
writing
 The first example was written by a high school
student…someone like you
 The second example was written by a published author
 Of course, I do not expect you to write like a published
author….but I also don’t want you write like our “high
school” student either. Lets ELEVATE
Reasons to write like this…in
EVERY situation
 “Readers want a picture-something to see, NOT just a
paragraph to read. A picture made of words. That’s what
makes a pro out of an amateur. An amateur writer tells a
story. A pro shows the story, creates a picture to look at
instead of just words to read. A good author writes with a
camera, not with a pen.” – Robert Newton
 This is NOT just for fiction!!!!!
Lets turn these “tells” into
“shows”
 As we go through the next couple examples, rewrite the
situation so that you show us what’s going on rather than
telling us.
 When you do this, you characterize your character
 The best one will be rewarded
Mary
 “Mary is tired.”
Bill
 “Bill was nervous.”
Old man
 “The weird, old man is reaching for something.”
 -DON’T tell me the details, SHOW me.
How one of the masters does
it
 “And before Halleck can jerk away, the old Gypsy reaches
out and caresses his cheek with one twisted finger. His
lips spread open like a wound, showing a few tombstone
stumps poking out of his gums. They are black and
green. His tongue squirms between them and then slides
out to lick his grinning, bitter lips.”

Stephen King Thinner
How Can WE Incorporate all
this into our writing?
Easy…Grammar!
 We haven’t spent too much time on grammar, but the
time has come
 Instead of doing grammar worksheets and diagramming
sentences…lets try something different
BUT first…do we know
these?
 Simple
 Complex
 Compound
 Compound/Complex
Quiz
 On a separate sheet of paper, write the answers to these
questions.
QUIZ (Sentence Structure)
 1) Define a simple sentence.
 Give an example
 2) Define a complex sentence.
 Give an example
 3) Define a compound sentence.
 Give an example
 4) Define a compound/complex sentence.
 Give an example
Answers (Simple)
 Simple: Simply an independent clause. Has a subject and
a verb.
 Jimmy chased the dog.
 The roof was on fire.
 My car was towed.
Complex
 Complex: an independent clause combined with one or
more dependent clauses.
 Having run an marathon, Kenny was tired.
 Olivia broke her toe after Cody ran her over.
 After Mr. Martin gave the test, Corbin and Maria poisoned
his coffee.
Compound
 Compound: two independent clauses joined joined by a
coordinator.
 FANBOYS (For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So)
 Garret played football, so Alison watched a chick flick.
 I tried to fix my car, but I didn’t know what I was doing.
 I hate brushing my teeth; however, I need to do it to stay
healthy.
Compound/Complex
 Compound/Complex: two independent clauses and one
or more dependent clauses.
 These are tricky.
 Although I hadn’t learned Spanish, I spoke to the waiter
and he understood what I said.
 We decided that the movie was too violent, but our
children, who like to watch scary movies, thought that we
were wrong. (which is which?)
Cont
 A group of words that has both a subject and a verb, but
(unlike an independent clause) cannot stand alone as a
sentence. (AKA a subordinate clause).
 Dependent clauses are additions to your sentences.
 Dependent clauses add a richness to your writing that
helps with sentence fluency.
Painting with 5 basic brush
strokes
 Just as the painter combines a wide repertoire of brush stroke
techniques to create an image, the writer chooses from a
repertoire of sentence structures. Although professionals use
an array of complex structures, students can begin to learn the
art of image grammar by employing the five basic brush
strokes.
 Eventually we will be working with:
 Participles
 Absolutes
 Appositives
 Adjectives
 Action verbs
Why does this MATTER??!!
 Not only do the following techniques help you in fiction
writing, they SHOULD be incorporated in non-fiction
writing.
 Students tend to write research papers, expository papers,
etc. without voice, without flavor.
 Realistically, teachers grade, college entry people evaluate,
and employers judge have to read the same papers on the
same topic (sometimes by the hundreds). THESE
techniques not only make your writing stronger, they
make your writing stand apart
 And honestly, they make you sound more intelligent.
Painting with Participles
 Participle: a verbal that functions as an adjective
 Verbal: a verb form that functions in a sentence as a noun
or modifier rather than as a verb.
 A more simplified way to explain a participle is: “an ing
verb tagged on the beginning or end of a sentence.”
Lets look at some examples
 Picture in your mind, a nest of snakes curling around
some prey.
 “The diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.”
 Does this sentence create a picture in your mind?
Same thing…with participles
 “Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the diamond-scaled
snakes attacked their prey.”
 The participles evoke action. Suddenly, we can see the
snakes coiling and slithering. We feel PART of the
experience.
Break it down
 Removing his coat, Jack rushed to the river.
 What is the participle?
 What is the modifier?
 What is the noun that is being adjective(ified)?
Answers
 “Removing his coat, Jack rushed to the river.”
 The participial phrase functions as an adjective
modifying Jack. Removing (participle) his coat (direct
object of action expressed in participle) (the modifier)
Research Paper
 Imagine you are writing a research paper on snakes’ predatory
habits.
 “The diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.” OR ““Hissing,
slithering, and coiling, the diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.”
 The content is the same, but the writers voice is more apparent.
This brings your reader into the moment; thereby making them a
participant in your argument.
 It makes you sound as though you have seen this yourself….what
kind of argument type would you be using then?
Practice
 Look at this image, and paint with participles.
 Write this down on a sheet of paper….This paper is your
exit ticket
Take a moment…
 Look at your roommate character sketch, find a place in
which you can add a participle phrase to bring your reader
INTO the story.
 5 min
Participial Phrases
 Participial Phrases: a participle along with any modifiers
that complete the image.
 Modifiers: A word, phrase, or clause that functions as an
adjective or adverb to limit or qualify the meaning of
another word or word group.
Combo example and
explanation
 “Hissing their forked red tongues and coiling their
cold bodies, the diamond-scaled snakes attacked their
prey.”
 Both methods (single participles and participial phrases)
paint more detailed picture.
 Using the single participles creates rapid movement, while
expanded phrases add details at a slower, but equally
intense pace.
Examples
 Flying through the air on the wings of a dream, the
Olympic long jumper thrust the weight of his whole body forward.
 In this sentence, which is the participle and which is the
modifier?
Examples
 “Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder
and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the ocean and
held it there, submerged, for more than a minute, watching
the blood trail away and the steady movement of the
water against his hand as the boat moved.”
 -Ernest Hemingway
Practice
 Look at this image, and paint with participial phrases.
 On your exit ticket
Your Story
 Add a participial phrase to your story
Absolutes
 Absolute: a two-word combination-a noun and an ing or
ed verb added onto a sentence.
 Absolutes utilize verbs; therefore, this brush stroke also
adds action to an image.
Examples
 “The cat climbed the tree.”
 Does this work? Does it show or tell?
Good example
 “Claws digging, feet kicking, the cat climbed the tree.”
 Was this better? Show or tell?
Visualize
 1) Close your eyes….DO IT!
 2) A mountain climber is moving along a steep
cliff…..pause
 3) Visualize this one sentence description: “The mountain
climber edged along the cliff.”
 4) Now I’m going to add some absolutes (a noun
combined with an ing participle).
Visualize (Cont.)
 5) “The mountain climber edged along the cliff, hands
shaking, feet trembling.”
 6) Im going to add more absolutes
 7) “The mountain climber edged along the cliff, hands
shaking, feet trembling, eyes watering, nose
running.”
 8) Open your eyes…which of the three worked best?
Showing v. telling? The right amount of info?
Absolute tips
 1 is good, 2 is good, but 3 absolutes overloads the picture
and diminishes the effect
 1 or 2 creates a far more dynamic image than the original
Practice
 Look at this image, describe using 2 absolutes
 On your exit ticket
Absolute phrases
 Absolute phrases combine an absolute and a modifier.
 Modifiers: A word, phrase, or clause that functions as an
adjective or adverb to limit or qualify the meaning of
another word or word group.
 Absolute phrases are to absolutes as participial phrases
are to participles.
Absolute Phrases Examples
 “Feet trembling on the snow covered rocks, the mountain climber
edged along the cliff.”
 Which part of the sentence is the absolute and which is
the modifier?
 Which is the noun that the absolute phrase adjective(fies)?
Absolute Phrases Practice
 Look at this image, describe using an absolute phrase.
 On your exit ticket
Maybe this will help
 Hopefully you have noticed, these techniques we are using
are dependent clauses and dependent clauses NEED
commas.
 All of our techniques are DEPENDENT phrases that
connect to INDEPENDENT clauses; therefore, they
need a comma.
Cont
 A group of words that has both a subject and a verb, but
(unlike an independent clause) cannot stand alone as a
sentence. (AKA a subordinate clause).
 Dependent clauses are additions to your sentences.
 Dependent clauses add a richness to your writing that
helps with sentence fluency.
The comma as a telescope
 Think of that comma as a telescope controller. You have
your basic sentence. Its ok on its own, but there isn’t
enough detail. Use THAT COMMA, and ZOOM in with
it.
 These participles, participial phrases, absolutes, and
absolute phrases, help you add detail by ZOOMING in
on your topic.
Example
 “The rhapis palm sat in a large, white container.”
 This is a simple sentence. No flavor….
 If used in a research paper, an extra sentence is
needed to explain details!!!
Example CONT.
 The writer can ZOOM up on any part of the picture that
is already framed by the original sentence. In this
example, that means zooming up on either the container
or the palm.
CONT.
 For instance, assume the branches of the palm are the
DETAIL of interest. Without any word of transition (a
skill WE all lack), only a twist of a zoom lens represented
by a comma, the sentence can now read:
 “The rhapis palm sat in a large, white container, the
branches stretching into the air…”
 The writer can now place a comma after “air” and ZOOM
up something framed in this part of the sentence.
MORE
 Suppose there is nothing of interest about the air, but the
branches have interesting joints or nodes, Zooming in
further, the sentence now reads:
 “The rhapis palm sat in a large, white container, the
branches stretching into the air, fibrous joints
knuckling the otherwise smooth surface.”
READ!!!!
 Read “Harrison Bergeron”
 Annotate for characterization and theme
 Use this information to come up with the argument Vonnegut
is making!
 Think about HOW he makes the argument

1) What kind of characterization method does he use to make
his argument

2) What type of argument (Ethos, Pathos, Logos) does he use

3) Is it effective?
Homework #1
 Rewrite a descriptive paragraph from “Harrison
Bergeron” and insert our first 2 brush strokes (participles
and absolutes).
 You must use 1 of each (participle, participial phrase,
absolute) and 1 combination.
Homework #2
 On the same paper, give me the theme of “Harrison
Bergeron”
 Main idea + author’s opinion = theme
 What argument is Vonnegut making?
 EVIDENCE from the text (at least three pieces)-connect
to ethos, pathos, logos
Homework #3
 Character response sheet on Harrison
 The sheet itself is a template…Do NOT write on the
sheet….
 This must be done on a separate sheet of paper.