Transcript Argument Revision

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Argument Revision
Today we will look at:
I.
II.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
VII.
Overall paragraph
Topic sentences
Modifiers
Sentence starters
How to correctly use semi-colons with conjunctive adverbs
Possessives and plurals
Correctly writing titles
Notes to Note
I. (Paragraph) & Commentary
Small children usually have a wild imagination, and
to them, anything is possible. But unfortunately, that is no
longer the case. I have a cousin of the age of five; she has
just started kindergarten. When I tell her a wild,
impossible story, she shoots it down and proceeds to tell
me that half of my story isn’t possible. She doesn’t draw
in coloring books or tell me crazy stories. The only thing
she knows how to do is play games on her Ipad. It is sad
to think that she will never see things from a different
perspective other than what she is taught in school. How
could children like her come up with a “creative solution”
when she is only taught one way to solve a problem?
I. (Paragraph) & Commentary
Small children usually have a wild imagination, and, to them,
anything is possible. But unfortunately, that is no longer the case. I have a
cousin of the age of five; she has just started kindergarten. When I tell her a
wild, impossible story, she shoots it down and proceeds to tell me that half of
my story isn’t possible. She doesn’t draw in coloring books or tell me crazy
stories. The only thing she knows how to do is play games on her Ipad. It is
sad to think that she will never see things from a different perspective other
than what she is taught in school. How could children like her come up with a
“creative solution” when she is only taught one way to solve a problem?
II. Topic Sentences
A.
Too specific
Weak: Creativity is like Michelle Obama’s healthy school action.
Stronger: Although a class in creativity appears as a utopian ideal, the
concept is flawed; the class will ultimately stifle original thinking.
Weak: In Fahrenheit 451, the government has the same idea as the TV
producers.
Stronger: The mindless programs on television rot viewers into vacuous
beings.
B.
Expository 
Weak: There are many programs available for Americans to watch that
receive many viewers and educate viewers about interesting topics.
Stronger: Television contains value in its potential to educate viewers
despite Ehrenreich’s claim that it purely entertains.
Activity #1: Topic Sentences
Rewrite the following sentence to make it stronger.
A. The creation of the IPhone is a prime
example of how creativity can change the
future of the world.
B. In elementary and middle school there was a
program called the Gifted and Talented
program, or G.T.
III. Modifiers
(from the LOC)
1. Do not use too many modifiers.
The bright yellow compact car with the plum-laden, out-of-date vanity plates was
like beautiful, warm sunshine on the gray, dreary Tuesday afternoon.
(side note: use a comma between adjectives when you could substitute the word and)
2. Do not rely on adjectives when strong verbs are more
effective.
Instead of writing, “Elani walked with a confident and quick stride,” perhaps say,
“Elani strutted” or “Elani strode.”
3. Beware of adding too many qualifiers. Be especially careful
about really and very.
• “Troy felt really sad” might be expressed as “Troy felt discouraged” or
“despondent.” Or it might simply be stated as “Troy felt sad.”
• Similarly, “The mockingbird’s song is very beautiful” is probably just as well
stated as “The mockingbird’s song is beautiful” or, introducing a strong verb, as
“The mockingbird serenades.”
Activity #2: Modifiers
Rewrite the following sentences to make the modifiers more effective.
a) I had difficulty understanding my teacher because he
talked so quickly and softly.
b) Michael was so very excited about the beginning of
lacrosse season that he could barely sleep.
c) Susan talked with self-assurance about movies she
hadn’t even seen.
d) The skyline was amazing on the beautiful evening.
IV. Conjunctive Adverbs
Activity #3: Conjunctive Adverbs
Write a sentence using the following adverbs.
A. However
B. Furthermore
V. Possessives and Plurals
Possessive = ‘s or s’
Plural= s or es
VI. Correctly Writing Titles
A. Small Works
“Song Title” = “Party in the USA”
“Article Title” = “On Compassion”
“Short Story” = “The Girl and the Giraffe”
B. Large Works
Novel = Fahrenheit 451
Movie = American Sniper
Newspaper = Houston Chronicle
Album = The Dark Side of the Moon
VII. Other Notes to Note
• Capitalize proper nouns = English class [not
math class]
• Do not use contractions
• NEVER use second person [you]