they - b1105
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Transcript they - b1105
McGraw-Hill/Irwin
Copyright © 2011 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Adapt Your Wording to Your Readers
• Visualize your readers. Consider . . .
– how they think.
– what they know.
– their education level.
– etc.
• Then write for them.
2-2
Prefer Short, Familiar Words
Long, Unfamiliar Words
Abbreviate
Accomplish
Approximately
Ascertain
Commence
Considerable
Determine
Detrimental
Short, Familiar Words
Shorten
Do
About
Find out
Begin
Much
Decide
Harmful
2-3
Use Slang and Popular Clichés
With Caution
• We’ll develop a branding strategy that pushes
the envelope (to move beyond the limit of
what has usually been done).
• This decision is a no-brainer.
• We’ve brought in the low-hanging fruit (a
course of action that can be undertaken
quickly and easily as part of a wider range of
changes ); now we need to reach out to more
difficult prospects.
2-4
Use Technical Language with Caution
Social Security’s technical language found
to be misunderstood by outsiders:
Technical Language
Improved Version
Has sufficient quarters of
coverage to acquire an
insured status.
Survivors’ benefits
Covered employment
Deceased wage earner
To file a claim
Aged workers
Has worked long enough (under
Social Security) to become
insured.
Family insurance payments
A job covered by Social Security
Worker who has died
To apply for insurance payments
Workers past 65
2-5
Use Initials and Acronyms
With Caution
What do these letters mean?
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
RFID
FTC
CD
IPO
RV
NATO
IRS
Radio Frequency Identification
Federal Trade Commission
Certificate of Deposit/Compact Disc
Initial Public Offering
Recreational Vehicle
North Atlantic Treaty Organization
Internal Revenue Service
2-6
Prefer the Concrete to the Abstract
Abstract
Concrete
We have found that this technique Our research shows that 87 percent of
is successful.
those using this technique are
successful.
Your department may hire some
Your department may hire three new
new employees.
stock clerks.
We will ship your order soon.
We will ship the Moss No. 41 desk sets
you ordered October 12 by Arrow
Freight on October 15.
Each of the branch managers will Each of the branch managers will
receive a substantial pay raise.
receive a 15 percent pay raise.
This procedure requires a constant This process requires a constant
low temperature.
temperature of 10 degrees centigrade.
2-7
Prefer the Active to the Passive
Passive
It is believed that the bill was
padded.
Your report was read by the
president.
The profit and loss statement is
prepared by the treasurer each
month.
It is suggested that you clean the
element in warm, soapy water.
It is desired that every effort be
made to have this matter brought
to the attention of the manager.
Active
I believe they padded the bill.
The president read your report.
The treasurer prepares the profit
and loss statement each month.
We suggest that you clean the
element in warm, soapy water.
Mr. Wong wants you to bring this
matter to the attention of the
manager.
2-8
Prefer Strong Verbs to Verbs
Camouflaged as Nouns
Camouflaged Verb
. . . make a classification . . .
. . . make a computation . . .
. . . conduct an exploration . . .
. . . provide information . . .
. . . engage in negotiation . . .
. . . make an observation . . .
. . . provide representation . . .
Strong Verb
. . . classify . . .
. . . compute . . .
. . . explore . . .
. . . inform . . .
. . . negotiate . . .
. . . observe . . .
. . . represent . . .
2-9
Avoid Discriminatory Wording
• Use gender-neutral words.
• Avoid words that stereotype by
– race.
– nationality.
– sexual orientation.
– age.
• Avoid words that typecast those with
disabilities.
2-10
Avoid Words with a Masculine Origin
Sexist
man-made
manpower
congressman
businessman
mailman
policeman
fireman
cameraman
waiter/waitress
Nonsexist
manufactured, of human origin
personnel, workers
representative, member of Congress
business executive, businessperson
letter carrier, mail carrier
police officer
fire fighter
camera operator
server
2-11
Avoid Words that Lower Another’s Status
Instead of
my girl
lady doctor
authoress
actress
poetess
sculptress
male nurse
male secretary
Use
my secretary
doctor
author
actor
poet
sculptor
nurse
secretary
2-12
Reword to Eliminate the Offending Word
Sexist
We will reimburse any
employee who paid his travel
expenses.
If a customer pays promptly, he
is placed on our preferred list.
A physician should treat his
patients with respect.
Nonsexist
We will reimburse any
employee for travel expenses.
A customer who pays promptly
is placed on our preferred list.
A physician should treat
patients with respect.
2-13
Make the Reference Plural
Sexist
If a customer pays promptly, he is
placed on our preferred list.
When an unauthorized employee
enters the security area, he is
subject to dismissal.
A supervisor is not responsible for
such losses if he is not negligent.
Nonsexist
If customers pay promptly, they are
placed on our preferred list.
When unauthorized employees
enter the security area, they are
subject to dismissal.
Supervisors are not responsible for
such losses if they are not negligent.
When a customer needs service, it is When customers need service, they
her right to ask for it.
have the right to ask for it.
2-14
Substitute a Neutral Expression
Sexist
Nonsexist
If a customer pays promptly, he is If a customer pays promptly, he
placed on our preferred list.
or she is placed on our preferred
list.
When an unauthorized employee When an unauthorized employee
enters the security area, he is
enters the security area, he/she
subject to dismissal.
is subject to dismissal.
A supervisor is not responsible
A supervisor is not responsible
for such losses if he is not
for such losses if s/he is not
negligent.
negligent.
When a customer needs service, When you need service, you
it is her right to ask for it.
have the right to ask for it.
2-15
Tutorial
• Critical thinking questions pg 42, group work,
any 2
2-16