Transcript Document
CM 220
COLLEGE COMPOSITION II
UNIT 9 SEMINAR
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Unit 9 Reading
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The Kaplan Guide to Successful Writing,
ch. 14 (196-204) and ch. 17
Review the website for Food, Inc.
Review a selected chapter related to a
common writing error in William Strunk,
Jr.’s Elements of Style, available at
Bartleby.com.
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Assignments
Reading
Invention Lab
The Final Project
Unit 9 Invention Lab/Discussion
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Describe a common editing concern you have (passive voice,
apostrophes, commas, fragments) and how the chapter you
selected from Bartleby.com helped clarify any questions you
had.
Discuss any other challenges you face as you revise and edit
your portfolio this week and prepare the multi-modal
component of your final project.
Respond to two classmates. Note resources that might help
your classmate address the challenges mentioned in the post
and mention any questions you still have about your
classmate’s big idea.
The Final Project Portfolio
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5-7 page revision of draft (unit 6)
Revision of letter to editor (unit 5
invention lab)
Revision of tech presentation (unit 7
invention lab)
Responses to reflection questions
Reminders
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The 5-7 length is just for the essay; this does not include the
title and references page, letter to editor, presentation, or
reflection questions.
The letter to the editor will be approximately ½ to 1 page,
as will the responses to the reflection questions.
Put all components in one Word document unless you need
to post a separate file for the presentation (such as a Power
Point). If you have an external link, include that in the Word
document. See the sample posted in the unit 9 folder of Doc
Sharing.
Review the grading rubric and assignment instructions
carefully! See the correct rubric in Doc Sharing (unit 9
folder).
Guidelines for Essay
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Essay must be a SUBSTANTIAL revision of the draft
you wrote in unit 6. Simply adding a few sentences
is not sufficient.
Arguments should be defended-remember that the
goal in persuasion is to convince your audience of
the value of your position.
Consider and respond to counter arguments
Aim for strong, clear, readable sentences.
Guidelines for Letter to Editor
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You will revise the letter to the editor (or formal
message to another audience) you wrote for the unit
5 invention lab.
Take into account questions raised by your instructor
and classmates as you revise the message. How can
you make it more compelling for your audience?
Guidelines for Multi-Modal/Tech
Presentation
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The audience for this presentation of your ideas is WIDER than
the audience of your actual paper.
How will this affect the presentation of information?
Remember to take into account the suggestions you received in
unit 7.
Have at least 5 specific facts/ideas supported with evidence.
Be sure to cite sources. You can have those listed on your main
References page.
Reflection Questions
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What did you learn about yourself as a writer? As a
thinker?
What did you learn about the process of writing?
What skills did you develop that might help you in the
future?
What did you take from the larger conversation with
others?
How did your feedback from peers and your instructor
affect the revision of your blueprint, letter to the editor,
and presentation?
Write responses in paragraph form.
Examples
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Food, Inc.
Analyze the audience and purpose of this presentation
of information.
What is the purpose and how is it accomplished?
How is the audience addressed?
How does the METHOD of presentation affect how this
information is given to the audience?
99 Balloons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th6Njr-qkq0
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Editing Sentences
The Paramedic Method
Seven Steps for Revision
Paramedic Revision
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Paramedic Revision is a sentence level revision
strategy that helps to make writing more clear and
concise.
It revives tired, wordy, and awkward sentences and
makes them more readable
Steps
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Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into)
Draw a box around the "is" verb forms
Ask, "Where's the action?"
Change the "action" into a simple verb
Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking
whom)
Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups
Eliminate any redundancies. (“Paramedic
Revision,” 2010).
An Example
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The point I wish to make is
that the employees
working at this company
are in need of a much
better manager of their
money.
Who is doing the acting?
What is the action?
Are there any unnecessary
phrases?
Could any prepositional
phrases be more concise?
Actor: Employees
Action: Need
Direct object: manager
Revision
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Employees at this company
need a better money manager.
Try revising this. . .
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After reviewing the results of your
previous research, and in light of the
relevant information found within the
context of the study, there is ample
evidence for making important,
significant changes to our operating
procedures.
Seven Steps (The Kaplan Guide to
Successful Writing, pp. 196-204)
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1. Choose verbs carefully--they convey the action in your paper
and should be vivid and compelling.
Highlight being verbs (am, is, are, was, be, etc.). Try to eliminate
as many as possible since they are considered "weak" verbs.
Highlight "to have" verbs (has, have, had). Again, try to remove
those.
Try to choose active, vigorous verbs whenever possible.
Seven Steps
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2. Take out unnecessary prepositions.
3. Make sure sentence lengths vary. You don't
want too many very long or very short
sentences.
4. Make sure all pronouns (it, they, everyone, etc.)
have a clear reference.
Seven Steps
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5. Try to limit the use of pronouns who, which,
and that.
6. Limit the use of "qualifier" words like really,
every, very.
7. Take out cliches (children are our future, etc.)
Editing
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Let’s try
revising
sentences
from
your
drafts
Try out this quiz for eliminating
wordiness:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/gr
ammar/quizzes/nova/nova8.htm
Questions?
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Let’s open the seminar up to any questions you may
have about the final project requirements.
Remember that there is NO seminar in unit 10, but
we will have a final chance to share projects and
discuss the Big Ideas you have all proposed this
term!