Transcript Elements of Descriptive Writing

Descriptive Writing
What are some elements of
good descriptive writing?
Good descriptive writing…
• alludes to several of the senses:
sight
smell
sound
taste
touch
the sense of sight…
“Patches of eczema rouge my cheeks,
while Ruby’s complexion is fair and
flawless. Our scalps marry in the
middle of our conjoined heads, but my
frizzy hair has a glint of auburn, while
my sister is a swingy brunette.”
(Lori Lansens, in The Girls)
the sense of smell…
“May walked over and stood beside me
and I could smell nothing then but the
pomade on her hair, onions on her
hands, vanilla on her breath.” (Sue
Monk Kidd, in The Secret Life of Bees)
the sense of sound…
“She’s all tied up with over four minutes
left. We can win this game. One side
of the arena is howlin’ for blood and the
other side is hootin’ and whistlin’ and
clompin’ for joy. Nothing like it.”
(Joel Hines, in Down to the Dirt)
the sense of touch…
“Nothing suits me better than stepping on
a sheet of fresh cleaned ice with my
skates laced tight and razor sharp… the
feel of the blades slicing into the ice
when you take that turn behind the
net.”
(Joel Hines, in Down to the Dirt)
the sense of taste…
“A breeze was coming up from the ocean,
bringing a saltiness to his lips.”
(Shyam Selvadurai, in Swimming in the
Monsoon Sea)
Descriptive writing also uses:
• strong, active verbs
• interesting adjectives and adverbs
Strong, active verbs…
“The wet, high-pitched ripping of his
three-year-old flesh as the spotted
hyena, never a kind beast and now mad
with hunger, dove onto his leg,
chomped at his waist, and then reached
his face and gnawed, grunting with
pleasure.” (Masha Hamilton, in The
Camel Bookmobile)
interesting adjectives…
“Islands rose out of the steel harbour
waters with sheer cliff sides, reaching to
uneven summits, and crowned with
austere, soaring firs.”
(Stephanie Meyer, in Twilight)
Interesting adverbs…
“Its engines rumbling loudly and its propellers
chopping explosively underwater, the ship
churned past us and left us bouncing and
bobbing in its frothy wake.”
“You may be astonished that in such a short
period of time I could go from weeping over
the muffled killing of a flying fish to gleefully
bludgeoning to death a dorado.”
(Yann Martel, in Life of Pi)
Descriptive writing uses
figurative language…
simile
metaphor
personification
alliteration
Simile…
“Ray had exceptionally large glasses, like an
underwater mask, as if he never knows when
he’ll have to do some welding or shield
himself from a solar eclipse.” (Miriam Toews,
in A Complicated Kindness)
“Around dawn we heard the redskins’
helicopters pass over the village and then
return. They hovered in the air like giant
dragonflies, peering down at the clearing.”
(Lloyd Jones, in Mister Pip)
Metaphor…
“With just one glance I discovered that the sea
is a city. Just below me, all around,
unsuspected by me, were highways,
boulevards, street and roundabouts bustling
with submarine traffic. In water that was
dense, glassy and flecked by millions of lit-up
specks of plankton, fish like trucks and buses
and cars and bicycles and pedestrians were
madly racing about, no doubt honking and
hollering at each other.” (Yann Martel in Life
of Pi)
Personification…
“I stood on the screen porch that jutted off the
back of the kitchen and watched the clouds
bruise dark purple over the treetops and the
wind whip the branches.” (Secret Life of
Bees)
“But this was a monsoon sea, wild and savage,
and it had eaten up the beach.” (Shyam
Selvadurai, in Swimming in the Monsoon Sea)
Alliteration…
“The next morning we woke to the
helicopters again. My mum was bent
over me, her face pinched with panic.
She was yelling at me to hurry. I could
hear people shouting outside, and the
beating of the blades.” (Lloyd Jones, in
Mister Pip)
Some practice…
• Read the Stephanie Meyer
paragraph from Twilight
• Circle all the adjectives
• Underline all the verbs
• Highlight and label each literary
device
Evaluate the following topic
sentences:
• The view from the trail was beautiful.
• The view from the granite rocks at Green Cove
was moving.
• The view from the peak of Top Thrill Dragster
was scary.
• The view from the mountaintop was very pretty.
• The view from the mountaintop was sensational,
stupendous, and astonishing.
Things to remember
• Allude to a minimum of 3 different senses
• Use a minimum of 3 different literary
devices
• Use strong, active verbs
• Choose interesting adjectives and adverbs
• Vary your sentence length
• Keep verb tense consistent
• Keep narrative point of view consistent
• Avoid “2nd person narration” (the word
“you”)
• Avoid too much “word clutter”; find a happy
medium between too little description and not
enough to give a picture in the reader’s mind
• Do not tell what is happening (ie. What you
are doing); rather tell what you
see/hear/smell etc. from your stationary
vantage point
• Avoid clichés (find your own original
descriptions)
• Edit carefully! (look for spelling, grammar,
consistent verb tense)