Transcript make-writing-better-fall-2015

How to Make Your
Writing Better
Common Errors
This is a list of mistakes that almost
100 percent of students in both my
journalism classes made.
The too-long sentence
Incorrect
The Grammys, which were originally called the
Grammophone Awards when they were first
conceived in the late 50s, appeared on network
television last February, and a British
performer named Sam Smith, whose song
“Stay with Me” hit number-one on the
Billboard charts, received the most honors.
Better
The Grammys appeared on network TV last
February. A British performer named Sam
Smith, whose song “Stay with Me” hit numberone on the Billboard charts, received the most
honors. When they were first conceived in the
late 50s, the Grammys were called the
Grammophone Awards.
How can you avoid long
sentences?
• Look at it. Does it look more like a
paragraph than a sentence?
• Read it all at once out loud. If you feel
breathless, it’s too long.
• Look at the number of “ands,” buts” and
“becauses.” If you have more than one,
consider breaking it up.
The run-on sentence
Incorrect: In the near future, I plan on
opening a restaurant, I don’t know where it
will be, but I’m excited.
Correct: In the near future, I plan on opening
a restaurant. I don’t know where it will be, but
I’m excited.
Incorrect: I want to improve my athletic
skills, so that I can play in the World Cup,
soccer is my passion, and I love it.
Correct: I want to improve my athletic skills,
so that I can play in the World Cup. Soccer is
my passion, and I love it.
The incomplete
sentence
Incorrect: Some days I love to get away from the
city. Go on long car rides and come home with
stories to tell.
Correct: Some days I love to get away from the city.
I go on long car rides and come home with stories to
tell.
Correct: Some days I love to get away from the city
and go on long car rides. I enjoy coming home with
stories to tell.
Incorrect: I plan to intern at Power
105.1 FM. Standing alongside some of
my favorite radio personalities.
Correct: I plan to intern at Power 105.1
FM, standing alongside some of my
favorite radio personalities.
Too many unnecessary words.
Simple = better. Think “lean,
mean, clean.”
Wordy 
The issue of prejudice is confusing to me due
to the fact that I am not cognizant of skin
color.
.
Better!
Prejudice confuses me, because I
don’t notice skin color.
Wordy 
I was made aware of the fact that my uncle
died when I tuned into the television news.
Better!
I turned on the news and found out
my uncle had died.
Repetitiveness
Incorrect
Next I plan to work at a music
management company, working
with singers and dancers.
correct
Next I plan to work at a music
management company, working with
singers and dancers.
Incorrect
I love to cook and hope to find new
and different ways of cooking the
foods I love.
Correct
I love to cook and hope to find new
and different ways of preparing
the foods I love.
To repeat myself…don’t repeat
yourself!
In two years, I see myself with a
great job. A year later, I see myself
married with a child. I see myself
quitting the job after the baby to start
my own magazine.
How to avoid being repetitive:
• In journalism, you don’t need to “re-state
the thesis” like in essay writing.
• Find different words. I love soccer and love
baseball. I love soccer and enjoy playing
baseball.
• Never say: Like I said before or As I
mentioned previously or the
“aforementioned….”
Incorrect and inconsistent CAPS;
Use caps for proper names; none of these words, from
your essays, need CAPS:
high school, advertising, political science,
event planner, public relations, journalism,
media, creative writing, grandfather,
graduate school, newsroom, sociology,
board of education, producer, director,
master’s degree
Passive Voice--uck!
Be active, not passive. Don’t
let something be done by
somebody or something.
Not:
The textbook was read by me.
Better!
I read the textbook.
not
Once the plan is put into place,
success can be achieved.
Better
Once I put the plan into place, I
can achieve success.
[note: you must know who the subject is!]
Replace all forms of the “to be”
verb with active or action verbs
Get rid of: there is, are, were, was, has
been, could be…..etc.
Do this EVEN if you have to re-work the
sentence. Just don’t change the
meaning.
Not 
There are three things that I
care about.
Better 
I care about three things.
Not
The next thing I want to
accomplish is to graduate from
college.
Better
Next, I want to graduate from
college.
Not 
Professor Villarosa is my
favorite instructor.
Better 
• I love Professor Villarosa—intensely.
• I adore Professor Villarosa.
• To me, Professor Villarosa rocks.
Not 
The Patriots were the winners
against the Seahawks.
Better 
• The Patriots beat the Seahawks.
• Poor Seahawks—the Patriots wiped the
floor with them.
• New England creamed Seattle.
• The Patriots kicked some Seahawk
tail!
• The Seahawks lost to the (far superior)
Patriots.
checklist
• Use spell check!
• Make sure all names are correct. Unless
you’re totally sure, look it up.
• Read everything over to check for careless
errors or typos. Even better, read it over out
loud.
• Get rid of any passive voice.
• Replace “to be” with active or action verbs.