Transcript How to Make Your Writing Better

How to Make Your
Writing Better
Common Errors
This is a list of mistakes that almost
100 percent of students in both my
journalism classes made.
The too-long sentence
Incorrect
“The Hunger Games,” which is based on a
best-selling young adult book, tells the story of
a girl named Katniss who has to compete in a
televised fight-to-the-death and stars the actress
Jennifer Lawrence, who made her name in
another movie called “Winter’s Bone,” which
is set in the Ozark mountains and is really sad.
Correct
“The Hunger Games,” which is based on a
best-selling young adult book, tells the story of
a girl named Katniss. She has to compete in a
televised fight-to-the-death and stars the actress
Jennifer Lawrence. She made her name in
“Winter’s Bone,” a sad movie set in the Ozark
mountains.
How can you avoid long
sentences?
• Look at it. Does it look more like a
paragraph than a sentence?
• Read it all at once out loud. If you feel
breathless, it’s too long.
• Look at the number of “ands,” buts” and
“becauses.” If you have more than one,
consider breaking it up.
The run-on sentence
Incorrect: In the near future, I plan on
opening a restaurant, I don’t know where it
will be, but I’m excited.
Correct: In the near future, I plan on opening
a restaurant. I don’t know where it will be, but
I’m excited.
Incorrect: I want to improve my athletic
skills, so that I can play in the World Cup,
soccer is my passion, and I love it.
Correct: I want to improve my athletic skills,
so that I can play in the World Cup. Soccer is
my passion, and I love it.
The incomplete
sentence
Incorrect: Harlem is a wonderful place to live and
raise children. A neighborhood with a rich, colorful
history.
Correct: Harlem is a wonderful place to live and
raise children, and it has a rich, colorful history.
Correct: Harlem is a wonderful place to live and
raise children. It has a rich, colorful history.
Too many unnecessary words.
Simple = better
Wordy 
The issue of prejudice is confusing to me due
to the fact that I am not cognizant of skin
color.
.
Better!
Prejudice confuses me, because I
don’t notice skin color.
Wordy 
I was made aware of the fact that my uncle
died when I tuned into the television news.
Better!
I turned on the news and found out my uncle
had died.
Repetitiveness
INCORRECT: I love fishing and hanging out with friends. Like
I said before, I love to fish.
INCORRECT: Visiting my mother makes me happy. My dog
makes me happy too. I can’t believe how happy playing baseball
makes me.
CORRECT: Visiting my mother makes me happy. I love my
dog and baseball.
Or……
The things that make me happy: visiting my mother, my dog,
playing baseball.
To repeat myself…don’t repeat
yourself!
In two years, I see myself with a
great job. A year later, I see myself
married with a child. I see myself
quitting the job after the baby to start
my own magazine.
How to avoid being repetitive:
• In journalism, you don’t need to “re-state
the thesis” like in essay writing.
• Find different words. I love soccer and love
baseball. I love soccer and enjoy playing
baseball.
• Never say: Like I said before or As I
mentioned previously.
Incorrect and inconsistent CAPS;
Use caps for proper names; none of these words, from
your essays, need CAPS:
high school, political science, event planner,
public relations, journalism, media, creative
writing, grandfather, graduate school,
newsroom, sociology, board of education,
producer, director, master’s degree
Passive Voice--uck!
Be active, not passive. Don’t
let something be done by
somebody or something.
Not:
The textbook was read by me.
Better!
I read the textbook.
Replace all forms of the “to be”
verb with active or action verbs
Get rid of: there is, are, were, was, has
been, could be…..etc.
Do this EVEN if you have to re-work the
sentence. Just don’t change the
meaning.
Not 
There are three things that I
care about.
Better 
I care about three things.
Not 
Professor Villarosa is my
favorite instructor.
Better 
•
•
•
•
I love Professor Villarosa—intensely.
I adore Professor Villarosa.
To me, Professor Villarosa rocks.
Professor Villarosa makes me happy.
Not 
The Seahawks were the winners
against the Broncos.
Better 
• The Seahawks beat the Broncos.
• Poor Broncos—the Seahawks wiped
the floor with them.
• Seattle creamed Denver.
• The Seahawks kicked some Bronco
tail!
• The Broncos lost to the (far superior)
Seahawks.
checklist
• Use spell check!
• Make sure all names are correct. Unless
you’re totally sure, look it up.
• Read everything over to check for careless
errors or typos. Even better, read it over out
loud.
• Get rid of any passive voice.
• Replace “to be” with active or action verbs.