Transcript Vigorous writing is concise.

Voice
Style
• Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence
should contain no unnecessary words, a
paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for
the same reason that a drawing should
have no unnecessary lines and a machine
no unnecessary parts. This requires not
that the writer make all his sentences
short, or that he avoid all detail and treat
his subjects only in outline, but that every
word tell.
• William Strunk, Jr., Elements of Style
Voice
• Definition: the relationship
between the subject and verb in a
sentence
• Analysis: Is the subject of the
sentence performing the action of
the verb or being performed upon?
Active Voice
• Definition: when the subject performs
the action of the verb in a sentence
• Example: John drove the car.
– John (the subject) performed the driving
(the verb).
• Effects:
– Direct--no questions
– Vigorous--strong; concise
Passive Voice
• Definition: when the subject receives
the action of the verb in a sentence
• Example: The car was driven by John.
– Grammatical subject is the car (not John),
and it is receiving the driving (action of the
verb), not doing it.
• Effects:
– No direct action
– Indirect and weak; possibly anonymous
(The car was driven.)
– Wordy!
Anonymous
• The closet was rearranged and my
favorite lucky sneakers were thrown out
by my sister.
• Mom, the window was broken!
• The alleged incidents were leaked to
the press.
Boring
• “The meeting was called to order, the
minutes were read by the secretary, and the
treasurer’s report was given.”
• “The meeting was interrupted by the
appearance of a lion. An attempt was made
to form a barricade with the furniture.
Members were told to remain calm. One
was eaten and the police were called.”
Identifying Passive Voice (Clues)
• No direct action:
– The subject of the sentence is not doing anything.
• Grammatical formula: Form of the verb
“to be” + the past participle of another
verb
– Example: was driven, has been taken, were
stolen, is being given, was ordered, were told
• Often has a “by . . .” phrase to identify
who or what is actually doing something
Example
• Bells were rung, horns were blown, confetti
was thrown from every office window, and
embraces were exchanged by total
strangers.
• Bells rang, horns tooted, confetti streamed
from every office window, and total
strangers threw their arms around each
other.
Expunging Passive Voice!
• Find the real subject of the sentence.
• Make it perform!
• Exploit the senses--use POWER verbs
– verbs that show specific action
• Thunder was heard in the mountains.
• Thunder ________ in the mountains.
• Be ready to perform serious sentence
operations!
Remember . . .
• The more precise the verb you choose,
the more vivid the picture and sound it
creates!
• Make your writing exciting! (Please!)