Transcript Developing a Readable Style

Developing a
Readable Style
August 25, 2011
Goals of Communication
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You want readers to understand your
meaning the way you intend
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You want writing to achieve its goal
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You want to keep goodwill of those with
whom you communicate
The Planning Process
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Determine your readers
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What is their educational & technical
background?
How much do they know about what you are
writing?
What relationship do you have with this reader?
Do you have credibility with this reader?
Who else is likely to read what you wrote?
What situation led to the need for this document?
The Planning Process
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Determine your purpose
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Why are you writing?
What do you want to achieve with your
document?
Understand your role as a writer
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What is your position in the organization?
Examples
Bill Ramirez, director of training, has a
dilemma. He must write his supervisor
(Marshall Collins), an associate (Kevin Wong),
and his assistant director (Joyce Smith) about
the same issue: unqualified people have been
enrolled in a training course, and not enough
seats are available for qualified employees who
need the class. Kevin is frustrated that
employees in his office are not being scheduled
for the class. Joyce is responsible for
scheduling the class. Marshall needs to know
about how Bill is handling this dilemma.
To: <Joyce Smith> [email protected]
SUBJ: Unqualified Enrollees in DM Classes
Please remove everyone with less than six months
experience from the June Database Management
classes. I know you need help in determining the
hiring dates of all the people who apply, but we have
a three-month waiting list of people, not to mention
district supervisors who are unhappy with our
inability to meet their training needs. Please stop by
before you leave at 5:00 so that we can figure out
how to make the screening process easier. Please
call Marc Jacz in personnel. He developed a
selection procedure for our C++ courses last year
and has agreed to work with us.
To: <Kevin Wong> [email protected]
SUBJ: Meeting Training Requirements in DM
Classes
Thanks for your message. I appreciate your telling me
about your problem.
We will see to it that your people who signed up for the
June DM Classes are taken care of. Joyce’s group is
understaffed, and they don’t have enough people to
check experience records of applicants. However, we
are working on the problem. Your employees will
receive priority. Kevin, I apologize for this situation,
and I will appreciate your patience as we get this
problem resolved. Please call me if you want to talk.
We will schedule your people as quickly as possible.
To: <Marshall Collins> [email protected]
SUBJ: Update on Training Enrollments
You may hear that we have been having difficulties
meeting the demand for our Database Management
classes. That’s true. We can enroll only those who
have completed the basic six months with IBC.
Determining who is qualified has been a problem
because of the demand for these classes. We have
to have priorities on who is admitted. My associate
and I are working with personnel to develop an
efficient plan for screening enrollees, but we need
more people who are qualified to train new hires in
database management. In the past six months we
have been unprepared for the demand. I’ll keep you
informed.
The Planning Process
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Planning the content
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What ideas should be used to achieve the
goals of the message?
What ideas should be omitted?
How should you arrange these ideas?
Anticipating the Context in which your
writing will be received
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How will your writing be used?
Thinking of your readers
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Who will read your message?
How much does your reader know?
Is your reader interested?
How technical should you be?
What does your reader need to know?
How will readers approach your document?
What is your business relationship to your
reader?
Reading habits
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Skimming
Scanning
Search reading
Critical reading
Receptive reading
Basic Principles of Effective
Style
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Determine reader’s knowledge of subject
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Determine if particular style is expected
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Anticipate reader’s comprehension level
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Know your relationship to reader and image
to portray
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Adjust style to reader, purpose, and context
Revising Paragraphs
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Begin paragraphs with topic sentences
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Build paragraphs with a groups of
sentences that coherently develop the
central theme
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Use moderate length paragraphs
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Use transitions between ideas
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Use lists if they better emphasize and
develop the topic ideas
Revising Sentences
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Watch sentence length
Keep subjects and verbs close together
Omit verbiage; use concrete verbs
Write “squeaky clean” prose
Avoid ponderous language
Avoid excessive use of Is/Are verb forms
Use active voice for clarity
Define when necessary
Avoid impersonal language
Sentence Length - EXAMPLE
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Before: This appendix contains a brief
discussion of certain economic and
demographic characteristics of the area in
which the county is located and does not
constitute a part of this Official Statement.
Information in this appendix has been
obtained from the sources noted, where are
believed to be reliable, although no
investigation has been made to verify the
accuracy to such information.
Sentence Length - EXAMPLE
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After – This appendix contains a brief discussion
of certain economic and demographic
characteristics of the area in which the county is
located. The appendix does not constitute part
of this Official Statement. Information in the
appendix has been obtained from the sources
noted, which are believed to be reliable.
However, the accuracy of the information has
not been verified.
Exercises
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The name John Patrick McPhee is not
unknown in the annals of today’s modern
science.
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Vitrine is effective in reducing ketones.
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The end results of this report are not
uninteresting.
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It has been recommended by the board that
the conclusions be adopted.
Subjects/Verbs Close EXAMPLE
S
V
Poor: Mary’s inheritance of money was one of
the reasons for John’s interest in Mary.
(verb/word ratio= 1/12)
S V
S
V
Good: John loves Mary because she inherited
money. (verb/word ratio=2/7)
Omit Verbiage; Use Concrete
Verbs -- EXAMPLE
Instead of
Weak verbs:
Use Direct
verbs:
give approval to
have a tendency to
give notification of
have a discussion about
approval
tend to
notify
discuss
Omit Verbiage; Use Concrete
Verbs -- EXAMPLES
Instead of
excessive words
Use simple
words
at a later date
at the present time
for the reason that/being
on a daily basis
later
now
because
daily
Omit Verbiage; Use Concrete
Verbs -- EXAMPLES
Instead of
redundancies
Use simple
words
absolutely free
consensus of opinion
exactly identical
free
consensus
identical
Revising Sentences – Is/Are
verbs
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Avoid excessive use of is/are verb forms.
- Avoid beginning sentences with there is,
there are, there was, or there were.
E.g. There were expectations by the
laboratory safety committee that its
protocol submission would meet the
deadline.
Use: The laboratory safety committee
expected to submit its protocols by the
deadline.
Revising Sentences
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Avoid beginning sentences with phrases such
as it is clear that, it is evident that, or it should
be noted that.
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Choose a specific verb rather than is, was,
and were verb forms.
Sentence Revision - EXAMPLE
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Poor: Delegation is a means of lessening
the manager’s work load.
Good: Managers who delegate reduce
their work loads.
Poor: There are two systems presently
available for testing job candidates.
Good: Two available systems can test job
candidates.
Revising Sentences – Active Voice
for Clarity
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Use Active Voice for clarity
 Active voice emphasizes the subject or
doer of the action in the sentence.
E.g. Lowell measured the refractive index of
the liquid.
Revising Sentences – Active Voice
for Clarity
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Passive voice emphasizes the object of the
action.
E.g. The refractive index of the liquid was
measured by Lowell.
Revising Sentences – Active
Voice
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Passive: Attempts were made by the division
staff to assess the project.
Active: The division staff attempted to
assess the project.
Passive: The door is to be locked at 6 p.m.
Active: The last person leaving the building
at 6 p.m. should lock the door.
Revising Sentences – Impersonal
Language
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Avoid Impersonal Language
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Using shorter sentences helps readers
follow your thoughts.
E.g. Please give immediate attention to
ensure that the pages of all documents
prepared for distribution are numbered
sequentially and in a place of optimum
visibility. This is needed to facilitate our
ability to refer to items during meetings.
Revising Sentences – Impersonal
language
Better: Please correctly number the pages of
all documents. To help us locate materials
during meetings, place page numbers in the
upper right-hand corner.
Best: To help us locate material during
meetings, please number all pages
sequentially.
Revising Sentences – Impersonal
Language
Poor: As a result of their expertise, the
consulting team is provided with the
opportunity to make a reasonable
determination of the appropriate direction
to proceed regarding their selection of
information systems.
Good: The consulting team has the
expertise to select the best information
systems.
Revising Sentences – Impersonal
language
Poor: It is our contention that the necessary
modifications should be made to make the
system operational because its complete
replacement is economically prohibitive.
Good: We believe that the system should be
modified to make it operational. Complete
replacement costs too much.
Achieving a Readable Style
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Style – the words or phrases you choose; the
overall way you express your ideas in your
document.
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A good writer adjusts the style of any
document to the audience and the purpose of
the document.