Transcript 1984 – Pre-reading guide

Lord of the Flies Intros: Grammatical Errors
Noted….
Bear the following in mind as you work on your essays:
• Write about literature using present tense verbs.
• Avoid ending sentences in prepositions.
• Watch your sentence punctuation- too many fragments
and run-on sentences.
• Stop using first and second person pronouns.
• Consider contractions literally dead at this point. (One
should not write how one speaks).
• Do not use the following words:
Things (Events, Factors, Experiences)
A lot
Good/Bad
Lord of the Flies Intros: Writing Tips
• You must reference the title, author, genre of your
primary source (in this case, LF) in your introduction.
William Golding’s allegory Lord of the Flies
Avoid: The book Lord of the Flies written by William
Golding- too wordy. Also, “book” is too informal.
• You must somehow make mention of the fact that
people tend to debate whether biology or environment
is a more significant factor in determining the causes
of behavior. Do not refer to the island as “the reason”
in your writing. The island proves to be a “major
factor” rather than a “reason.”
Lord of the Flies Intros: Writing Tips
The first time you mention an author, write out full
name- first and surname. All subsequent times you
mention the author, use only the surname. This cuts
down on boring repetition…..
You also must briefly acknowledge the two nonfiction
works in your introductory paragraph.
Example:
Research within two articles, both Amanda Leigh
Mascarelli’s “The Teenage Brain” and Kendra Cherry’s
“The Perils of Obedience,” provides key insight into this
debate of nature. vs. nurture within Golding’s novel.
Lord of the Flies Intros: More Writing Tips
• Do not begin sentences with direct quotations!
THINK: ICE
Introduce, Cite, Explain
Example: The boys’ savagery is highlighted
dramatically, for instance, as Ralph participates in the
first pig hunt. The narration indicates Ralph’s actions:*
“the desire to squeeze and hurt was overwhelming”
(Golding 115). While Ralph is never as malevolent as
Jack, Ralph’s action during this particular hunt illustrate
that he, too, has taken on savage tendencies due to the
influence of his peer group.*
•There is no strong need for direct quotations in
introductory paragraph.
A Brief Word on Repetition
• You tend to love using the verb “shows” to explain
your quotations.
• Notice that in my attempts to “explain” the previous
quotation, I purposefully avoided using “show.” Why?
It is overused and has thus become lame.
• Alternatives to “show”:
Illustrates
Examines
Highlights
Represents
Clarifies
Indicates
Exemplifies
Demonstrates
Proves
A Brief Word on Repetition
• Can you still use “show” in your papers? Yes, but only
once. “Show” me that you have a sophisticated
vocabulary!
• You may have noticed on your paper that I underlined
a word if you used it more than once. Why? Vary your
word choice to elevate the tone of your paper and to
make it more interesting.
• Bottom line: Use strong verbs and interesting
adjectives.
Achieving Sentence Variety
• We’ve already talked about how you can use
conjunctive adverbs to craft more interesting
sentences. You also have shown that you can use a ; to
create compound sentences.
• More tips on crafting more creative sentences:
Begin sentences with prepositions like “to,” adjectives,
or even “ing” words.
• To understand the nature of the boys’ savagery, one
must examine the situation on the island itself.
• Arrogant and aggressive, Jack is a bully in a pure
sense.
• Wandering through the forest, Simon discovers the
pig’s head.