Transcript pronoun/antecedent clarity

GRAMMAR
Pronoun/antecedent
clarity
Parallel structure
PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT
CLARITY
Pronouns and antecedents: clarity
Original: Lennie began traveling with
George after his aunt died.
What is wrong with this sentence?
PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT
CLARITY
Right: This is known as unclear
pronoun/antecedent reference. We don’t know
who “he” refers to: Is it George’s aunt or
Lennie’s aunt?
The fix: Lennie began traveling with George after
Lennie’s aunt died.
PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT
CLARITY
Original: Candy tells George he should have been
the one to shoot his dog.
Oooh, we have lots of problems here. First, who
does “he” refer to? Is Candy saying Candy should
have been the one to shoot the dog, or should
George have been the one?
Second, who does “his” refer to? Is it
Candy’s dog or George’s dog?
PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT
CLARITY
A solution:
Candy says, “I ought to have shot that dog myself,
George. I shouldn’t ought to of let no stranger shoot my
dog” (61).
This not only clears up what Candy is saying, but
it also helps you use actual words from the text to
support your point, which is always a good thing.
PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT
CLARITY
Identify the problem and fix it.
Original: This shows that George
has to be the one to kill Lennie and
not anyone else.
PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT
CLARITY
Nice work. You realized that the sentence sounds
like George has to kill Lennie and not kill anyone
else.
The fix: This shows that George has to be the
one to kill Lennie. He cannot allow anyone else
to do it.
PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT
CLARITY
Crooks walks to the doorway of the bunkhouse and tells
Slim the tar for his mule’s foot is ready.
Crooks walks to the doorway of the bunkhouse and tells
Slim the tar for the mule’s foot is ready.
The second after George shoots Lennie in the brush, he
is immediately alone and lonely.
The second after he shoots Lennie in the brush, George
is immediately alone and lonely.
PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT
CLARITY
Also, the common loneliness of all protrudes when people find out
that Lennie and George travel together and react with surprise and secret
jealousy.
Also, common loneliness is evident when people react with jealousy and
surprise upon discovering George and Lennie travel together.
When Lennie walks into the room one night when all the other men are away,
Crooks tells him how truly lonely and sad his life is.
When Lennie walks into the room one night when all the other men are away,
Crooks reveals how truly lonely and sad Crooks’ s life is.
George leaves Lennie behind to play with his puppy.
George leaves Lennie behind to play with the puppy Slim gave Lennie.
PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT
CLARITY
The one time someone comes to talk to Crooks, he is
harsh toward him.
The one time someone comes to talk to him, Crooks is
harsh toward his visitor.
All of the other men travel alone, so when George and
Lennie arrive together, they are very taken aback.
All of the other men travel alone, so they are very taken
aback when George and Lennie arrive together.
PARALLEL STRUCTURE
When we talk about parallel structure,
we're dealing with a balancing act. The idea
isn't too hard, but most people don't think
about it.
So what are we balancing? . . . pairs of
words or series of words. Look at the
following:
PARALLEL STRUCTURE
Pairs
a and b
a or b
Series
a, b, and c
a, b, or c
Think of the letters as standing for words or groups of words. Any
words or groups of words that you plug in have to be the same
kinds of words or word patterns. That's all there is to it! Let's
see how the "formula" works:
PARALLEL STRUCTURE
Pairs: running and jumping, bothered and bewildered, open or shut, laughing or crying (all are
verbs)
Series: broken, bedraggled, and bone-tired (all are adjectives)
an old shoe, a stuffed bear, and a chewed-up blanket (all are nouns, modified by adjectives)
When you write your sentences using parallel structure, your ideas come across more
clearly because they're easier to read. Compare the following sentences:
Non-parallel structure: Peggotty's toys were an old shoe, a bear that was stuffed, and
she had chewed up an old blanket.
Parallel structure: Peggotty's toys were an old shoe, a stuffed bear, and a chewed-up
blanket.
See how the second sentence is smoother and more balanced?
Adapted from “Big Dog’s Grammar” http://aliscot.com/bigdog/parallel.htm
PARALLEL STRUCTURE
Peggotty's toys were an old shoe, a
stuffed bear, and a chewed-up blanket.
We have three groups of words that are
parallel in their construction:
adjective/noun
old shoe, stuffed bear, chewed-up blanket.
PARALLEL STRUCTURE
Examples
He has a dog, a cat, and he also has a parrot.
He has a noun (dog), a noun (cat), and a
subject/verb (he has).
I will run, walk, and I’m going to swim.
I will verb (run), verb (walk), and subject/verb.
(I’m going).