Transcript Active vs. Passive Voice - Beavercreek City Schools

Active vs. Passive Voice
Active vs. Passive
Active vs. Passive
Active vs. Passive
In writing, which is better?
Active voice or passive voice?
Which sentences do you prefer?
 There were a great number of dead leaves lying on the ground.
 A number of dead leaves covered the ground.
 At dawn, the crowing of a rooster could be heard.
 At dawn, we heard the rooster crow.
 The reason he left college was that his health became impaired.
 Failing health compelled him to leave college.
 It was not long before she was very sorry that she had said what she had.
 She repented her words shortly after she said them.
On Writing by Stephen King
 “The timid fellow writes The meeting will be held at seven o’clock because that somehow
says to him, ‘Put it this way and people will believe you really know.’ Purge this quisling
thought! Don’t be a muggle! Throw back your shoulders, stick out your chin, and put that
meeting in charge! Write The meeting’s at seven. There, by God! Don’t you feel better?”
(King 123).
 “I won’t say there’s no place for passive voice. Suppose, for instance, a fellow dies in the
kitchen but ends up somewhere else. The body was carried out of the kitchen and placed
on the parlor sofa…’was carried’ and ‘was placed’ irk the shit out of me. I accept them,
but I don’t embrace them. What I would embrace is Freddy and Myra carried the body
out of the kitchen and laid it on the parlor sofa. Why does the body have to be the subject
of the sentence, anyway? It’s dead for Christ’s sake!” (King 123).
Elements of Style by Strunk & White
 Use the active voice.
 The active voice is usually more direct and vigorous than the passive:
I shall always remember my first visit to Boston.
 This is much better than
My first visit to Boston will always be remembered by me.
 The latter sentence is less direct, less bold, and less concise. The writer tries to
make it more concise by omitting "by me."
 My first visit to Boston will always be remembered,
 It becomes indefinite; is it the writer or some undisclosed person or the world at
large that will always remember this visit? (Strunk and White 24)
 Readers don’t know who will remember Boston since the subject receives the
action.
Active Voice
 The voice used to indicate that the subject of the sentence performs the
action or causes the action.
 The new plan to start school an hour earlier will be opposed by the student
body. passive
 The student body will oppose the new plan to start school an hour earlier.
active
 Sentences in the active voice use strong verbs.
 Sentences in the active voice are shorter than their passive voice
counterparts, and they pack more of a punch.
Passive Voice
 The voice used when the subject receives the action.
It was decided by my teachers to let us out early today. passive
My teachers decided to let us out early today. active
Only use Passive Voice to…
 Emphasize the object of a sentence.
 Active: Bob drew intricate designs on my face.
 Passive: My face was covered with intricate designs.
The face is the area of focus here.
 Hide the subject of the sentence.
 A politician might say, "Mistakes were made.” (Ronald Regan said this when
referring to the Iran-Contra scandal)
 Minimize the guilt of the subject.
 A cheating husband might respond, "Adultery was committed by me."
Why don’t we like the passive voice?
 Creates awkward, wordy sentences.
 Overuse throughout an essay causes flat and uninteresting prose.
 Contains A LOT of “to be” verbs which are repetitive and plain.
 Minimizes a writer’s impact and connection with the audience.
 Loses the reader in its wordiness.
 Most importantly: You only get 140 characters on Twitter, so you might as well
avoid the passive and master active!
Passive Voice Indicators
 Nominalization
 The cruel act of using the noun form of a strong verb.
 For example: consider—consideration, decide—decision, succeed—
succession
 We like strong verbs! Don’t change them into nouns!
 The verb “to be”
 The most common indicator of passive voice. Avoid it.
 Forms of “to be”
am, is, are, was, were, be, been, being
How to write in active voice.
 Use strong verbs instead of nominalized verbs.
 Nominalization: I took his idea under consideration.
 Strong Verb: I considered his idea.
 Nominalization: Make a connection between the sprinkler valve and the pipe.
 Strong Verb: Connect the sprinkler pipe to the valve.
 Use nominalized verbs when you want to:
 Replace many words with one word.
The fact that he decided to drink and drive ended his life.
The decision to drink and drive ended his life.
How to write in active voice.
 Avoid the verb “to be.”
 Change ‘to be’ to a strong verb:
 Example: Tony is afraid of notebook checks.
Tony fears notebook checks.
 Eliminate ‘to be’ by showing not telling.
 Example: Alligators are mean.
 The alligator, angry at being disturbed, lurched forward and swallowed the boy's
cat.
 Combine sentences to eliminate ‘to be’.
 Example: The inefficient time manager is unfulfilled. He heads to bed,
disappointed, despite having finished his to-do list.
 The inefficient time manager heads to bed, unfulfilled, having checked everything
off on his to-do list.
Active or Passive?
 John Smith was nominated for fraternity president by Joe Chance.
 Active / passive
 Judge Raymond Burr sentenced the man convicted of drunken driving to two years in jail.
 Active / passive
 Students conducted a rally yesterday to raise money.
 Active / passive
 The case was dismissed by a three-judge panel.
 Active / passive
Active vs. Passive
Create Active Sentences!
 In the space provided on your papers, change these passive sentences into
active sentences so they fit into a tweet:
 The Thanksgiving turkey dinner with cranberry sauce and stuffing was eaten by
everyone, including Kristina, Jill, Nick, Kate, Matt and Alexander. (145 characters)
 Jeremiah had been given twenty gifts for his birthday by his family. It’s because his
parents had been given a discount by their friend who owned a store. (160
characters)
 The Jay-Z concert was attended by all of my friends. The concert venue was filled by
fans of all ages. It was said by everyone that it was a great show. (152 characters)
 My brother, sister and I were invited by our neighbors to the block party. The
hamburgers were cooked by Freddy and the cookies were baked by Liana. (148
characters)
Writing Task
 Demonstrate your mastery of active voice by writing a piece that contains no
forms of the verb “to be.”
 Task: Write about a time when you experienced fear. What was the situation?
Who was involved? What caused this fear?
 Challenge: No “to be” verbs! Only active sentences 
 Avoid: am, is, are, was, were, be, been, being
 MLA HEADING
 At least 1/2 of your page