Transcript Style - TeacherWeb

Style
Sentence Clarity
Strategy 1: Use Active Voice. Gina borrows my car every Saturday.
Strategy 2: Use Parallel Constructions. In areas threatened by hurricanes, it is important to become
aware of the warning signs, to know what precautions to take, and to decide when to seek shelter.
Strategy 3: Choose Action Verbs Over Forms of Be. Television news reporting differs from that of
newspapers in that television, unlike newspapers, provides instantaneous coverage of events as they
happen.
Strategy 4: Avoid Unclear Pronoun References. American universities are tightening budgets by hiring
temporary contract employees as teachers instead of hiring new, full-time faculty. This trend has
prompted many full-time faculty members to join unions as a way of protecting job security and
benefits.
Strategy 5: Avoid Shifts in Person. Students who come to college as freshmen must make many new
choices, and sometimes they get confused.
Strategy 6: Be Careful about Placement of Interrupting Material. Because of the growing use of
computers to store and process corporate information, industrial spying is increasing rapidly.
Strategy 7: Avoid Noun Strings. This report explains our projects to stimulate growth in investments.
Strategy 8: Avoid Multiple Negatives. People pay more attention to commercials with human-interest
stories than to other kinds of commercials.
Strategy 9: Avoid Overusing Noun Forms of Verbs. The plan was implemented successfully.
Active vs. Passive Voice
Voice indicates whether the subject of a sentence is the actor or the receiver of the
action.
In the active voice, the subject of the sentence does the acting; in the passive voice, the
subject is acted upon.
Active Voice: Our neighbor’s dog bit my son.
Passive Voice: My son was bitten by our neighbor’s dog.
Passive: (more wordy) The brakes were slammed on by her as the car sped downhill.
Active: (clear and direct) She slammed on the brakes as the car sped downhill.
Recognizing passive voice:
 the verb phrase will always include a form of the verb to be, such as am, is, was, were,
are, or been (the presence of a be-verb, however, does not necessarily mean that the sentence is in passive voice)
 the verb may be followed by a “by…” phrase
Pronoun Reference
To write clearly and coherently, avoid confusing pronoun reference.
• A pronoun substitutes for a noun. A pronoun refers backwards to a noun or noun phrases, tying
what follows in the sentence to what has gone before.
When pronoun reference is confusing, however, you force the reader to guess your meaning. Don’t do
it!
EDITING TIPS FOR CLEAR PRONOUN REFERENCE
1. Make sure each pronoun refers back to a specific noun or noun phrase, not the idea of a sentence
or paragraph.
2. Make sure the pronoun refers back to a noun or noun phrase, not a possessive.
3. Make sure the pronoun refers back to a previously stated noun.
4. Make sure the pronoun refers back to only one noun or noun phrase.
Confusing!-“The peasants seized power by force and quickly changed all locks on the palace doors so
the nobles could not get back in. Then they had a large party and gorged themselves! When the nobles
finally recaptured the palace they were forced to clean up and found many stains and cigarette burns.”
(Who cleaned up the mess? The nobles? The peasants?) [from Without Feathers by Woody Allen]
Clear!-The peasants seized power by force and quickly changed all locks on the palace doors so the
nobles could not get back in. Then the peasants had a large party and gorged themselves! When the
nobles finally recaptured the palace they forced the peasants to clean up the many stains and cigarette
burns.
Parallel Structure
Parallel structure is the use of similar constructions for similar concepts. In a sentence, words,
phrases, and clauses equal in thought should use the same grammatical structures.
Examples:
1.
He was neat, clean, shaved, and sober. (parallel adjectives)
2.
We studied the island’s natural history, geography, and economy. (parallel nouns)
3.
The new technologies can scan, digitize, and store permanently any text so that other machines can retrieve this content and
reproduce copies anywhere in the world. (parallel verbs)
4.
“Revision is the act of looking back, of seeing with fresh eyes, of entering an old text from a new critical direction.” (parallel –ing
phrases) [from Adrienne Rich]
5.
“Gamblers tend to be superstitious, to favor certain clothes, to finger lucky charms, and above all, to believe in their luck.” (parallel
infinitive phrases) [from THE NEW YORKER]
HOW SHOULD I EDIT MY WRITING FOR PARALLEL STRUCTURE?
• Use parallel structure when using the connecting words FOR, AND, NOR, BUT, OR, YET, SO when they link constructions in compounds and
series.
• Use parallel structure when using the connecting words EITHER…OR; NEITHER…NOR; BOTH…AND; NOT ONLY…BUT ALSO; NOT…BUT. The
words and/or phrases following these connecting words should use the same grammatical construction.
Semicolons
The semicolon has only two uses: to join complete sentences and as a “super-comma.”
To Connect Sentences: A semicolon can be used to join two or more complete sentences
(independent clauses).
• Example: Fred is a good typist; he makes few mistakes.
In this sentence, the semicolon is used instead of a period, but connecting them with a
semicolon highlights their close relationship with each other.
Super Comma: A semicolon can be used to separate elements in a series when one or more
contain commas.
•Example: Attending the meeting were Travis Claypool, the mayor; Richard Hernandez, the city
engineer; and Sandra Lee, the architect.
Sentence Variety
Simple Sentence: a single independent clause.
• Example: Elaine left her purse on the table.
Compound Sentence: two or more independent clauses linked with a semicolon, or more
commonly, a comma plus one of the seven coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS).
• Example: Elaine left her purse on the table; someone stole it.
• Example: Elaine left her purse on the table, and someone stole it.
Complex Sentence: one independent clause and at least one dependent clause
Ind. Clause
Dep. Clause
• Example: Elaine’s purse was stolen | because she left it on the table.
Dep. Clause
Ind. Clause
• Example: Because Elaine left her purse on the table, | it was stolen.
Compound Complex Sentences: a combination of the compound sentence and the complex
sentence. Thus they are made up of two or more independent clauses and at least one
dependent clause.
Ind. Clause
Dep. Clause
Ind. Clause
• Example: Elaine’s purse was stolen | because she left it on the table; | she was very angry
Revising for Style Homework
1. Improve sentence clarity- Reread your essay, scouring it for clarity. Make at least 3
sentences clearer by revising them. Highlight and label (What change did you make?) the
sentences you changed.
2. Parallel Structure- ALWAYS use parallel structure. Find at least 3 places in your essay
where you used parallel structure. If there are not 3, revise your essay. Highlight and label.
3. Semicolons: Use at least 1 semicolon in your essay. Highlight and label.
4. Sentence Variety- Use at least one of each of the following sentence types in your essay:
• Simple sentence Highlight and label.
• Compound sentence Highlight and label.
• Complex sentence•
•
•
ind clause-dep. Clause Highlight and label.
dep clause, ind clause Highlight and label.
Compound Complex- Use at least 2 in your essay. Highlight and label.