Transcript Lecture #12 slides

Lecture 12
Nonverbal Communication:
Silence & Listening
and
Communicating with Non-native
English speakers
COM 340
Overview of Silence
People in every culture “experience” silence in
some form or another.
 However, people’s attitudes toward silence in
each social and cultural group can be
dramatically different.
 For example, many cultures of the world
expect more silence from women and children
than from adult men.
 Silence can have a positive or negative impact
on the communication process.
 It can provide a peaceful situation by signaling
agreement or create tension and uneasiness.
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Causing Silence
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People cause others to be silent…
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to gain attention
to maintain control
to protect
to teach
to attempt to eliminate distractions
to show respect for authority or tradition
to point to something greater than ourselves or our
groups.
Silence can be used as the language of superiority and inferiority, affecting such relationships as teacher-follower, male-female, and
expert-client.
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Causing Silence
(con’t)
Silencing someone can have both positive
and negative effects.
 In some situations, silence is demanded by
others and by those who must themselves be
quiet.
 Often a sign of respect for the wisdom of
others.
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The elderly persons in a family of many
Eastern culture groups expect silence from
the children and from less authoritative family
members as a sign of respect.
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Zones of Silence
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Zones of silence, or places where outside
noise is controlled, are sometimes created as
a way to make people silent.
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And at certain times in…
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library
museum
concert hall
funeral home
court room
large lecture hall
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European and North American
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Northern European and North American
societies are involved in linear progression.
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Even small amounts of silence are filled with
action and doing.
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In these cultures, silence is seen as dark,
negative and full of “no things,” all of which
are not good.
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Silence in East Asia
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Other cultural groups, such as those in East
Asia, favor long silences.
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Silence is created more frequently than do
those from some Western cultures.
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Often interrupt actions with long and deep
silence.
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A famous Chinese philosopher, Lao Tsu, once
said “To talk little is natural.”
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Silence in East Asia
(con’t)
Many women in Eastern cultures view their
silent roles as very powerful.
 Some women see their silent roles as natural
and cannot imagine speaking out unless
something very bad is done to them
personally.
 Shows the power of control in silence.
 Often not recognized or understood by those
who value speech-as-power and by those
who value assertiveness by all, equally and
democratically.
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Effective Reception
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The key to effective reception of messages
is effective listening.
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Listening is a skill that can be learned to
enhance clarity in message exchange.
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We spend 50% more time listening than we
do talking.
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Better listening skills develop better
speaking skills because of awareness.
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Ineffective Listening
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Without listening to details and context,
important information can be left out.
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Conflicts then arise.
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Overlooked information inhibits solutions
and results in lost business time and
revenue.
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Personal relationships will deteriorate.
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Active Listening Guidelines
Stop talking
 Have a reason for listening
 Create a supportive climate
 Make eye contact
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It is the number one priority. It lets the other person
know you are paying attention.
Use head body language such as nodding.
 Try not to translate what is being said into what
you want to hear: self-fulfilling prophecy.
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Active Listening Guidelines
(con’t)
Aim your body orientation, move responsively
 Pay attention to and actively search for
meaning in nonverbal cues
 Seek information and ask questions
 Suspend judgment
 Use attentive silence and play to it
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Rate of thought
Rate of speech
400-500 wpm
100-150 wpm
Resist distractions
 Respond to content & feelings
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Active Listening Guidelines
(con’t)
Focus on themes
 Paraphrase to assure clarity
 Give responsive sounds or paralanguage
feedback.
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Sounds or murmurs to allow the speaker to
know you are following his train of thought
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right, OK, uh-huh, yeah
Give effective feedback
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Be specific, descriptive, timely, relevant
Pay attention to possible gender differences
 Ask questions!
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Asking Questions
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Don’t use Closed Questions
 Is, Do, Has, Can, Will, Why
 These are questions that only require a
“yes” or “no” answer.
Use Open Questions
 Where, When, How, What, Who, Which
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Effective Listening
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Real communication occurs when we listen
while understanding the other person’s point
of view.
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Test yourself with a series of questions such
as “what did I learn from the other person?”
or “who did more talking and listening?”
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Evaluate your answers and decide how to
improve your communication next time.
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Effective Listening (con’t)
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Effective listening is not for everyone.
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To deal with the non-effective listener, clarify
what you want to say prior to speaking.
If your ideas are clear, the listener is more
likely to be receptive.
Before meeting, give the to-be-listener an
idea of what you want to discuss.
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Communication through Eyes
Nonverbal communication is always revealed
through the eyes.
 Normal eye contact means communication is open.
 Looking down indicates rejection.
 Avoiding eye contact suggests that the person is not
comfortable with the conversation’s topic or the other
person.
 Stares can indicate dislike.
 A person may be sincere if the eyes move upward
when discussing stories about the past. Eyes move
upward to retrieve information.
 However, if the eyes move side to side when
recalling information, the person is likely to be lying.
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What Do I Do If They Do Not
Speak My Language?
Verbal behavior
Clear, slow speech. Enunciate each word. Do not use
colloquial expressions.
 Repetition. Repeat each important idea using different
words to explain the same concept.
 Simple sentences. Avoid compound, long sentences.
 Active verbs. Avoid passive verbs.
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Nonverbal behavior
Visual restatements. Use as many visual restatements
as possible, such as pictures, graphs, tables, and slides.
 Gestures. Use more facial and hand gestures to
emphasize the meaning of words.
 Demonstration. Act out as many themes as possible.
 Pauses. Pause more frequently.
 Summaries. Hand out summaries of your verbal
presentation.
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What Do I Do If They Do Not
Speak My Language? (con’t)
Attribution
Silence. When there is silence, wait. Do not jump in to fill
the silence. The other person is probably just thinking
more slowly in the non-native language or translating.
 Intelligence. Do not equate poor grammar and
mispronunciation with lack of intelligence; it is usually a
sign of second-language use.
 Differences. If unsure, assume difference, not similarity.
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Comprehension
Understanding. Do not just assume that they understand;
assume that they do not understand.
 Checking comprehension. Have the other person repeat
their understanding of the material back to you. Do not
simply ask if they understand or not. Let them explain
what they understand to you.
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What Do I Do If They Do Not
Speak My Language? (con’t)
Design
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Breaks. Take more frequent breaks. Second-language
comprehension is exhausting.
Small modules. Divide the material into smaller modules.
Longer time frame. Allocate more time for each module
than usual in a monolingual program.
Motivation
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Encouragement. Verbally and nonverbally encourage
and reinforce speaking by nonnative language
participants.
Drawing out. Explicitly draw out marginal and passive
participants.
Reinforcement. Do not embarrass novice speakers.
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