Transcript Asian-American Culture & Philosophies

Session 3-1
March 22-23, 2002
Joy Luck Club: The Mothers
Suyuan: June
 Lindo 15 year old bride: Waverly
 Ying Ying: who drowned her own son,
depressed: Daughter Lena has no spirit
 An Mei’s mom was raped and killed herself
with opium dumplings: Rose

Joy Luck Club: The Daughters
June (main character): Failed at Piano
 Waverly (Chess player): Smile naturally
now mom! I always do Waverly!
 Lena: Has no spirit for I have none to give
her. Married a miser Harold, everything is
fifty fifty. Love yes, false dependency no
 Rose: Divorced husband of rich family,
winery and publishing house. Mrs. Jordan

Order 3: Older brother and younger brother
兄弟如手足
Brothers (older and younger) are like hands
and feet
(they are irreplaceable, blood is thicker than water)

Older-brother in command during father’s absence
Facilitates family operations: Internally-externally

Authoritarianism: Do as the brother says, obey

– Reinforces dependency: “Must please brother”
– Externalized locus of control: Reduced personal responsibility
Order 4: Husband and Wife
夫妻如衣服
Relationships between husband and wife is
similar to clothing (change them at will)
 Women’s identity begins after marriage
三從: 在家從父 出嫁從夫 老來從子
Authoritarianism: Do as the husband says, obey
 Reinforces dependency: “Husband-pleasing”


Externalized locus of control: Reduced personal responsibility

Faithfulness in marriage: Wife must be chaste
Dependent Identity of Women
Dependency vs. Independency Tasks
Seasons of Dependency
Developmental Dependency of Women
Three stages of Identity formation 三從
Depends on father when young 在家從父
 Depends on husband when married出嫁從夫


Depends on son when old老來從子
Husband and Wife Relationships

Women suffer and sacrifice silently

She becomes a martyr-sacrificial lamb of the
dysfunctional family & inflicts the same pain
upon her daughter and in-laws
She copes by Denial and Resignation: “fate”
Poor husband-Wife relationship is the norm



Extra-marital affairs, Informal Mistresses,
Concubines, Polygamy
Common Marital Disorders
Angry Husband - Depressed-Hurt Wife
 Angry Wife - Withdrawn Husband
 Avoidance of Emotional Involvements

– Focus on the Concrete, Practical issues
– Over-Rationalization, Over-Intellectualization
– Judgment Passing: Reason, Right or Wrong

Rigid Structure, Non-Cohesive: Stress prone
Seven Facets of Chinese Face Work
After Bond and Hwang “Six types of face work“
© Melvin W.Wong, Ph.D.2001-2002
Level
Description
Manifestation
Chinese pinyin
1
Enhancing your own face
Etiquette consciousness
yao mianzi
2
Enhancing other’s face
Reciprocity
gei mianzi
3
Losing your own face
Shame, humiliation
diu mianzi
4
Hurting other’s face
Retaliation for shame felt
shang mianzi
5
Saving your own face
Avoid shame, be proper
baocun mianzi
6
Saving other’s face
No criticism, give apology mian mian ju yuan
7
Tearing your own face
Relationship destroyed
mou mian
Origin of shame
The lack of a personal identity: Who am I?
External vs. Internal shame mechanisms
–
–
–
–
–
–
Parents against their children: Name calling
Children’s cruelty against their peers: Name calling
Personal handicaps: “Imperfections”
Compares & Contrasts: Athletes, models & stars
Physical features: Aging, race, skin color
Need for acceptance & “measuring-up”
Shame & Blame
Projection is a defense against shame: anxiety


Blame is externalizing of an internal conflict
The person does not take ownership for shame
–
–
–
–


“It is easier that shame is on you & not on me”
“I will be a no body when I am not perfect”
“I am not worthy, to be rejected when I am wrong’
This is a homeostatic approach to balance anxiety
There is little introspection: No learning-maturity
Self-Defeating, tragic outcomes: Hiding Secrets
Basic Human Conditions &
Chinese Cultural Perspectives
(Adapted from Rev. Daniel Ng, Chinese Churches Today, 26, Dec. 2000)
Issue of Existence: Reasons for Living
生存問題的解答
Issue of Life’s Crises: Reasons for Pain
危難問題的解答
Issue of Death: Perspectives on Dying
死亡問題的解答
Confucius Thinking 儒家思想
Existence 生存問題的解答
Confucius thought is the most practical based
on the here and now
 To be a good person is to follow “Heavenly
Reason” and your “Conscience”
–鬼神素重孝爹娘

天道遠人道近
修心養性
Meaning of live is to be a moral person, not be
influenced by outside forces but governed by
internal goodness 本心
Confucius Thinking 儒家思想
Dealing with Crises 危難問題的解答
Confucius thought is the most practical based
on the moral strength of an individual
 Unlike Buddhism & Taoism: Cause & Effect
–鬼神 業報

Acceptance of crises as unavoidable as fate
–命也乎 人生不如意的事常八九
–不怨天, 不尤人, 下學而上達
–天將降大任於斯人也,必勞其筋骨,苦其心志
Confucius Thinking 儒家思想
Death & Dying 死亡問題的解答
Through a person’s descendents and bloodties to establish an ever-ending genealogy

To establish achievement & recognition morally &
verbally
–立功 立德 立言 三种的不朽

There is no after-life, after-death, a person exists
historically & in the memories of love ones
–祭祖觀念
Confucianism: The Drawbacks
Professor Fu Wei-Feng, UC San Diego
94-Nov-14 Harvard Divinity School
 Community
relation is not emphasized
or developed. Focused too much on the
individuals & family 各家自掃門前雪
 Lacks social responsibilities
 Not critical enough of negative
characteristics of men 人初性本善
Buddhism

An Indian prince’s response to human pain
– Prince lived a life of pleasure within palace gate
– Noticed pain of peasants when outside gate

Pondered about the sad human condition
– Personal guilt of pleasure that was for granted
– Social sufferings: Birth, aging, illness, death
Bad things happen to you because you have
done something wrong: “Karma” 因果報應
 Death: Reincarnation: Good deeds

Buddhist Thinking 佛教思想
Existence 生存問題的解答
人生觀在乎: 禪修 坐禪 參禪(靜慮)
強調心靈的開放,解除個人執著的結,讓生
活中更多靈活的空間去适應環境的變化
Personal practice of Zen: “Restful-sitting position of
Meditation” and “Quiet Meditation” to purity the spirit
and the body to adjust to the changes of the complexities in
living
Similar to the New Age practice of Yoga & meditation:
Personal & convenient
Buddhist Thinking 佛教思想
Dealing with Crises 危難問題的解答
Temple Worship is based on Reciprocity
無事不登三寶殿
Crisis Worship (Transactional)
平時不燒香 臨急抱佛腳
Crises-Bad Things happen: Retribution
危難災禍的來源來自業報
Buddhist Thinking 佛教思想
(karma 因果報應)Is Fate是命中注定
Accept or Change Fate by PrayersChants-Mantras or be Vegetarians
(Not kill animal life-Preserve life to gain life)
解救方法是接受命運或念經祈福持素
Performing good works, “Set Animals
Free” to score points to Alter Fate
和積德積善放生來逆轉危机
Buddhist Thinking 佛教思想
Death & Dying 死亡問題的解答
Reincarnation: Three Changes & Six Cycles
三世流轉
六道輪回
Punishment for the bad is in 18th level of hell
打落十八層地獄
Buddhist Thinking 佛教思想
To prevent the deceased from being cast into
the 18th level of hell, family members (son)
must perform good deeds to make up
后人和子孫与先人做些功德來隬補
These Rituals become parts of mourning
因此,先人死后的失落感可以減少
It takes 18 years to return to adulthood (new life)
佛教輪回觀念:十八年后又一條好漢
Chinese Sexual Beliefs (Role of Women)
(Adapted from Christian Ethics: Principles and Applications,
Dr. Ping-Cheung Lo, Hong Kong Baptist University ‘92)
Taoism 道教思想
Tenets: Longevity, Transcend to Become a god
 Methods:

Diet, Qigong, Meditation
By Practicing Special Sexual Techniques
– “Take from Yin to Compensate Yan”
» Virgins & Women used as means to an end
to benefit the Men’s desire to have longevity
– “Return Sperm to Compensate Brain”
» Sex to benefit Men’s desire for longevity & stamina
The Five-Hierarchical Harmonious Relationships
(The Five-Orders “Wu Lun”) 五倫
Copyright (C) Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D. 1996-2001
Orders
Relationships
Virtues
Manifestations
Emotions
Pathologies
1.
The King & his
subjects
Loyalty
忠
2.
Father and son
Filial Piety
孝
3.
Older-brother &
younger brother
Brotherly
Love 愛
Antisocial
Obedience Domination“Kowtow”
Fear
Corruption
Rage
Deference
RespectRespect of
Shame
Elders
Divisiveness
Dependency
RespectConspiring
4.
Husband & Wife
5.
Between Friends
LoveChastity
貞
Trust
信任
Acceptance
PowerBitterness
Neurasthenia
Harmony
Tactfulness
Face-work
Biblical Order of Relationships
“The New Five-Orders” 新五倫
Copyright © Melvin W.Wong, Ph.D. 1999-2001
1.
Christ the King and His Children (Isaiah 9:6-7)
Love and Sacrifice
2.
Father and Mother (Exodus 20:12)
Love and Honor (Leave, Cleave becoming one flesh)
3.
Husband and Wife (Ephesians 5:21-25 )
Love and Commitment
4.
Parents and Children (Ephesians 6:1-2 )
Love and Acceptance
5.
Fellowship of Believers, Friend-Foe (1 John 4:11-12 )
One another love, Hospitality & Forgiveness (Mat 22:39)