Transcript Document
Mastering Difficult Conversations A Key Skill Within Your Winning Game Plan Terri Wallin, MHA, RN CEO Wallin Enterprises, LLC Outcomes Define difficult conversations & components of healthy and unhealthy conversations Describe at least 3 successful techniques that minimize negative consequences in conversations Identify at least 2 ways you can improve upon your delivery with difficult conversations What is a difficult conversation? When something is said, done or given that causes or has the potential to cause another party to react unfavorably Picture Source: Shutterstock 144119560.jpg “The big three blind spots are tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. The listener is very aware of these, the talker is not.” Douglas Stone, Author Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most Source: http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/8697.Douglas_Stone The role of body language It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it… ?? 7-38-55 ?? Picture source: 123rf.com #26722 About Difficult Conversations… Healthy Components Unhealthy Components • Readiness for the conversation • Accusations before having facts together • Arrogance and lack of compassion • Thoughtfulness about the impact to the receiver • Respectful message delivery • Active listening • Engaging your mouth before your head has time to think • Having to be right • Matched body language & words • Proper timing for the conversation • Jumping to conclusions without hearing all sides • Unwillingness to listen • Transparency • Not owning your part to play Helpful Techniques with Conversations In advance of a conversation… Do your homework and have accurate facts Analyze if there is a possibility for an unfavorable response Think through every possible scenario - the worst to best reaction Think through your ideal response based on possible scenarios Practice in advance – watching body language & words Know your triggers and value violations Helpful Techniques with Conversations During the Conversation… Tell the truth – always! Stay defenseless and clear Make the discussion a conversation rather than a confrontation Get to the point as quickly as possible With behavior conversations, use examples that are real • Refrain from adjectives – describe the behavior Seek to understand, ask questions Listen, reframe and ask receiver if you heard correctly Use the broken record technique when needed Spotting signs for deterioration Watch body language Voices change – pitch, tone, loudness Words become less tactful and more defensive Facial changes – color, tears, etc. Sudden animation of one party or both Disinterest/disengagement Blaming and minimal/no ownership There’s one on one difficult conversations, what about groups… Cartoon source: Fotolia.com_71012268_XS Let’s talk through at least 1 scenario Hacked system over the weekend, payroll is gone… Expenses out of whack, lay-offs are the solution – 5 have to go from your division Client yelling at scheduling staff or when you come to the door for a visit… Competitor that is your best colleague and friend hires your star performer… Let’s practice 1 of these The chronically late comers The roamers The gossipers The fast, but inaccurate The sour pickles The catastrophizers The backstabbers The inaccurate time card recorders And the list goes on… Self-assessment Take a moment to complete the assessment This is not research driven, but will give you an idea for areas of focus Place an “X” in the box most fitting to you • • • • U if unsure 1 if it never true about you 2 if it is sometimes true about you 3 if it is always true about you Let’s leave with this… “For good ideas and true innovation, you need human interaction, conflict, argument, debate.” Margaret Heffernan Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/search_results.html#AZIR7iA5eIdVgiOP.99