Transcript Chapter 20
Chapter 20 Defining Responsibility in a Changing World Quote for the day Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place. - When Harry Met Sally Recognize: • An an individual, you are responsible for the consequences of the choices you make in order to satisfy your needs. • As you explore your sexuality you must negotiate a path through society’s contradictory messages about sex. • With sexuality comes a tremendous responsibility for making choices that fit your needs, the needs of others around you, and the needs of society. Values • Morals – Our concept of what is right or wrong – The idea that happiness is the goal of moral principles is well rooted in science and religion – We often face contradictory moral claims • “An eye for an eye” • Turn the other cheek” Values • Value Orientation – A rational and sensible approach to decision making that will maximize one’s potential to thrive. – Determined by your life experiences. – Basic value orientation is acquired early in life. – Most of us get our values from the previous generation. – Value orientation is subject to reinforcement. Values • Sexual values are embedded within other values 1. Human Nature • Do you believe people are basically evil? Good? Mixture of the two? 2. Nature and the Use of Technology • • • Subjugation to nature? Living in harmony with nature? Mastery over nature? Values • Sexual values are embedded within other values 3. Time • Future, present, or past dominant? 4. Human Activity • Being, being-in-becoming, or doing orientation? 5. Human Relationships • Family, group or individual orientation? Norms for the Sexual Attitudes and Values Scale QuickTime™ and a GIF decompressor are needed to see this picture. Sexual Ethics • Ethics – A set of moral principles for determining behavior – You participate in ethical decision making everyday – How cognitively aware are you of those decisions? – Reflection is central to deciding a right course of behavior. Sexual Ethics • The Role of Authority in Ethical Decision Making – Authoritarian approach assumes that when we make choices about what to do we can rely on a normative standard derived from an authority higher than the individual. – There is a single right behavior. The Ten Commandments QuickTime™ and a GIF decompressor are needed to see this picture. Sexual Ethics • The Role of Authority in Ethical Decision Making – Situational approach assumes no such outside authority; while they may take into account tradition wisdom collected over generations, the responsibility for making ethically sound decisions rests squarely with the individual. – Uncertainty is an essential ingredient. The Role of Authority in Decision Making QuickTime™ and a GIF decompressor are needed to see this picture. Ethics and Sexual Values • The Ethical Permissibility of Sex Acts – Procreationist assumes procreation is the primary function of sexuality and that human reproduction is the primary basis for ethical sexuality. – Recreationist assumes that anything that gives a person pleasure is inherently good. – Naturalist assumes that procreations, pleasure, love, and intimacy are all valid reasons for engaging in sex. The Ethical Permissibility of Different Sex Acts QuickTime™ and a GIF decompressor are needed to see this picture. Ethics and Sexual Values • Belliotti’s Five Tiers of Sexual Morality QuickTime™ and a GIF decompressor are needed to see this picture. Sexual Decision Making • Male/Female Differences in Decision Making – – – – Feminist Theory Social Learning Theory Evolutionary Theory Error management Theory • Men tend to overestimate women’s sexual intent • Women tend to underestimate men’s sexual intent • Women’s sexual behavior is more often contrary to their general values and attitudes than is men’s. Sexual Decision Making • How to Make Good Decisions – It Can’t Happen to Me • Illusion of unique invulnerability – Alcohol and Sexual Choices • Removes the inhibitions that prevented you from acting on your existing desires • Reduces people’s self-awareness • Leads to alcohol myopia – Loss of Self-Control • Ability to monitor your behavior • Impacted by alcohol, arousal, being tired, stress Sexual Decision Making • Choosing the Wrong Mate – In modern society, most people marry for love – Deciding to get married during the state of passionate love is not unlike making a binding career decision or financial investment while seriously intoxicated. It impairs decision: • Being wildly in love makes people see their partner in an idealized, unrealistic manner • Passionate love may change your partner • Some people marry in order to preserve the feeling. Sexual Decision Making • Choosing the Wrong Mate – Ending a Relationship • Passionate love makes it hard to decide against continuing a relationship. – Self-Esteem, Narcissism, and Depression • Some people believe that loving yourself is a first step toward being able to love others • A milder form of self-love is self-acceptance – Guilt and Shame • Shame is destructive; Guilt is constructive Sexual Decision Making • Choosing the Wrong Mate – I Love You Just the Way You Are • Popular theme: Flawed man is transformed into a better person through the love of a good woman. – Testosterone and Commitment • High levels of testosterone are likely to make men both an appealing, exciting, sexy partner and a poor prospect for a long-term mate – Weighing Good versus Bad • Bad is stronger than good • The amount of love and affection is less relevant than the amount of conflict, negativity, and bad feelings. What’s Right For You? • Is sex for fun, or does it have a special meaning beyond pleasure and physical gratification? • Is sex a way of saying “I like and enjoy being with you” or a commitment to future involvement? • Does sex mean “I love you and want to be with you right now” or “I want to be with you forever”? • Is sex a sacred act that means lifelong commitment, regardless of the difficulties that arise?