Transcript Watch the leaves fall off all the trees, landing in a lake

Fall Walk
Sentences
2014
5th Grade Classes
Flint Springs Elementary
Looks like a strong crop of
writers in your class this
school year!
This year’s grouping is
outstanding! I thoroughly enjoyed
just reading through them. Some
I had to read out loud. I had to
share with my office partner. They
were that good! Please thank
your students for me. They made
a rainy autumn afternoon very
pleasant.
Just ten? These are
magnificent! It was really hard
to pick. I am stunned by the
imagery, similes, metaphors,
and personification. These are
by far the most mature Fall
Sentences to date.
This is like I watched it happen.
The limbs of this scraggly
tree seem like they are
trying to capture me.
Love the description of the “scraggly tree.” I can
see the small, stiff-branched, tree. And the verb
“capture” is genius. We’ve all gotten our pant
leg caught in those annoying little trees before.
Love the memory you conjured up for this
reader!
Colors burst from the trees
like splattered paint.
Love the simile! Great imagery!  The word
choice is strong. Reading it aloud lets you
“hear” the imagery/energy: burst and
splattered paint.
What wonderful personification. I can see/feel
autumn dancing in the wind. The placement of
the word “we” makes it even stronger as it
invites the reader to join the moment.
Great use of personification. Love the
adverb/verb combo: secretly abandon. I can just
hear them whispering “shh” as they fall off the
wide oak.
This sentence sings with alliteration and
rhythm. I love the setting you’ve created with
“morning sun.” I can see it as it reflects off
the little frog’s copper coat. Forgive me, the
little tree frog’s copper coat. (Thank you for
the exact noun: tree frog.)
Asters in the tall yellow grass
rise like bright purple fireworks.*
The shape of these flowers all bunched up is
exactly like a fireworks explosion. It’s not in
a night sky, but it is in a field of dull colors.
Nice.
* Picked by more than one judge as a favorite!
Crickets started chirping, frogs
jumped in, the wind started singing,
and with the crunching of the
leaves, all together it sounded like a
symphony.*
I hear it! There’s a great pun in there too; frogs
“jumped” in! Clever. I wonder if you could
have written this by starting with, “It sounded
like a symphony when…”
* Picked by more than one judge as a favorite!
This sentence foretells of winter, but still
shows us fall. Winter is hard on all living
creatures, especially me!
* Picked by more than one judge as a favorite!
Love the imagery and personification. Poor little leaves
don’t know what hit them! One minute they’re hanging in
place looking good; next thing they know—they’re flat on
their backs on the ground.
* Picked by more than one judge as a favorite!
Way to create a metaphor that is more
than just an adjective/noun combo plate.
You included the verb, too, making it a full
meal.  This metaphor works so well
because you “picked” something to
compare the leaves to that would help the
reader use his background knowledge to
know what was going to happen. What
happens to ripe fruit? It falls off the tree.
* Picked by more than one judge as a favorite!
What a great non-cliché simile! It not only
provides a great comparison but gives the wind
an attitude—and a mission. 
* Picked by more than one judge as a favorite!
An advancing army of leaves fall
ready to invade the ground.*
Love that you continued the metaphor beyond
the adjective/noun all the way to the verb!
Great use of alliteration to begin the sentence.
* Picked by more than one judge as a favorite!
I love this personification! I can just see
the grasshoppers with their little picket
signs now: DOWN WITH WINTER!
Nice description and metaphor for winter.
* Picked by more than one judge as a favorite!
OH MY! The rhythm, the rhyme, and
the punctuation! THIS IS AMAZING!
Not to mention, the sentiment of your
sentence is outstanding. The notion of
a “final phase” is just brilliant!
* #1 Favorite!
A unique take on fall. Not a sentence about the physical
setting (like most others did), but the sense of taste. Great
idea! The sentiment of your sentence is strong, but the
word choice is fairly typical. With only one sentence, I
was wishing for more powerful description or more
unique phrasing.
* #1 Favorite!
Love the alliteration and image of landing in a lake of goodbyes. Definitely captures the melancholy of fall as the leaves
depart. A lake of good-byes is so poetic!
* Picked by more than one judge as a favorite!
* #1 Favorite!
You never know where it’s
going to go when you
publish something in your
life – you just have to do it
and believe.
-DeWitt Jones