Transcript Communication and Self-Discovery

Communication and SelfDiscovery
New Directors Workshop
Seminars on Academic Computing
August 5, 2006
Bruce M. Taggart
with thanks to: Jenny Cobb (AxysPointe)
Jeannie Zappe, Carrie Regenstein, Barry Walsh
(EDUCAUSE Institute)
How we’ll use our time today
• Effective communication
• Group Exercise: Your Communication
Behavioral Style
• Behavioral styles defined
• “Style flex”
• Group Exercise: Communicating with other
styles
• Active listening
So, communication is…
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Understanding between and among people;
An interdependent process;
Not necessarily agreement;
Constant. You cannot NOT communicate.
We constantly communicate, and we
constantly receive communication from
others.
Communication in all its
channels
Basic principles of
communication
• A basic principle of communication in
general:
People are not mind readers
• People judge you by your behavior, not
your intent
• A Russian proverb says, “Once a word
goes out of your mouth, you can never
swallow it again.”
How we communicate
• What people can see
• What people hear
• What we actually say
Communication is in the mind of the
recipient: You’re just making noise if the
other person doesn’t hear you.
To be an effective
communicator…
• Understand how communication occurs
• Understand your own communication
behavior style
• Learn to diagnose the communication
needs of others
• Develop listening skills
• Communicate with others in a way that is
sensitive to and aware of their needs
Wouldn’t it be great if you
could…
• Understand how your preferred style of working
comes across to other people
• “Read” other people’s behavior so you’ll know the
best way to work with them
• Find common ground with people while maintaining
your individuality and integrity
• Adjust your behavior in small ways that dramatically
improve results among different styles
• Relate effectively—no matter how others react to you
Source: People Styles at Work: Making Bad
Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better
Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton
What communication style are
you?
Exercise:
Communication Behavioral Styles Inventory
Communications Styles Grid
Less Emotional
Analytical
Driver
More
Assertive
Less
Assertive
Amiable
Expressive
More Emotional
Analyticals
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Tendency towards perfectionism
Deal with facts, data, logic, details
Sometimes slow to make decisions
May appear overly cautious and not
good risk-takers
• Decisions and information provided are
usually accurate and thoughtful
• Feelings and emotions kept inside
Amiables
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“Warm and fuzzies”
People and friendship are very important
Like to get others involved in activities
Good at juggling multiple tasks
Concerned about feelings of others
Less inclined to speak their mind openly
Can get hurt feelings or be offended
easily
Drivers
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Strong, decisive, and results-oriented
Provide strong guidance for others
May appear pushy at times
Demanding of themselves and others
Highly self-critical
Resent those who “waste” time with idle
chit-chat
Expressives
• Party people
• Love to have a good time
• Highly creative and enthusiastic
• Operate primarily by intuition
• Little tolerance for those who are not
expressive
• Easily bored
• Difficult to keep on task
• Easily distracted
Toxic relationships
• Natural tensions occur between
individuals whose orientations are
dramatically different from one another
Analytical
Driver
Driver
Expressive
Amiable
Expressive
“The difference between the right word and
the almost right word is the difference
between lighting and the lightning bug.”
~ Mark Twain
“Style flex”
• Versatility is the ability to communicate with
someone else based upon the other person’s
comfort zone, the way in which the other
person wants to communicate.
• Style flex involves tailoring your behavior so
the way you work fits better with the other
person’s style—like a baseball player swinging
at different pitches…
• Style flex is a temporary adjustment of a few
behaviors at key times.
Source: People Styles at Work: Making Bad
Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better
Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton
“Style flex”
• Style flex is not about: conforming to the other
person’s point of view; giving up your goals or
withholding your opinions; changing the other
person; it’s about changing yourself
• The primary leverage you have for improving a
relationship is your own behavior
Source: People Styles at Work: Making Bad
Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better
Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton
Communications Style Grid
Less Emotional
Analytical
Driver
Less
Assertive
More
Assertive
Amiable
Expressive
More Emotional
To communicate with
Analyticals…
DO
Prepare in advance
Be accurate
Be direct
List pros and cons
Present specifics
Be persistent
Use timetables for actions
Provide tangible, practical
evidence
DON’T
Be disorganized or messy
Be casual, informal, or loud
Rush decision-making
Fail to follow through
Waste time
Leave things to chance
Threaten or cajole
Use opinions as evidence
Be manipulative
To communicate with
Amiables…
DO
Start with a personal
comment
Show sincere interest in
them as people
Listen and be responsive
quickly
Be casual and nonthreatening
Ask “how” questions
Provide assurances
DON’T
Rush into business
Decide for them
Stick to business constantly
Force them to respond
Be demanding
Debate facts and figures
Be abrupt
Be patronizing
To communicate with
Drivers…
DO
Be specific and brief
Stick to business
Be prepared
Present facts clearly
Ask “what” questions
Provide alternative
solutions
Take issue with facts
DON’T
Ramble or waste time
Be disorganized or messy
Leave loopholes or be
unclear
As rhetorical questions
Make decisions for them
Speculate
Be directive
To communicate with Expressives…
DO
Be fast-moving,
entertaining
Leave time for socializing
Talk about their goals
Deal with the “big” picture
Ask for their opinions &
ideas
Provide examples from
people they believe are
important
Offer incentives or rewards
DON’T
Legislate
Be cold, aloof, or tightlipped
Press for solutions
Deal with details
Be dogmatic
Talk down to them
Exercise:
Communicating with the Registrar
Source: Personal Styles & Effective Performance,
Make your Style Work For You.
David W. Merrill and Roger H. Reid.
Effective communication
techniques
• Use feedback
• Use multiple (appropriate) channels
Email, phone, one-on-one?
Amount of information and timing?
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Be sensitive to the receiver
Be aware of symbolic meanings
Use simple language
Use repetition
Source: How To Speak and Listen Effectively
Harvey A. Robbins
Three levels of listening
• Listening in spurts
• Hearing words, but not really listening
• Empathetic listening
“You cannot truly listen to anyone and do
anything else at the same time.”
~ M. Scott Peck
Active listening
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Reduce physical barriers
Minimize distractions; avoid or limit interruptions
Control your emotions
Evaluate the message; allow silence
Detect the central idea
Be aware of your posture and nonverbal behavior
Ask probing and occasional questions
Acknowledge and respond using paraphrasing,
perception, checking and summarizing
Philosophy of a good communicator
• Assume 100% of the responsibility for
understanding what the other person means.
• Assume 100% of the responsibility for making
sure that the person you are communicating
with understands you.
Questions?
Resources
• The Heart of Change: Real-life Stories of How People
Change Their Organizations. John P. Kotter and Dan S.
Cohen (Boston, Mass: Harvard Business School Press,
2002)
• Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change.
William Bridges. 2nd edition. (Cambridge, Mass: Da Capo
Press, 2003)
• Breaking Out of the IT Silo: The Integration Maturity
Model. Mark R. Nelson. (Boulder, Colorado: EDUCAUSE
Center for Applied Research, March 15, 2005).
• Cultivating Careers: Professional Development for
Campus IT. Cynthia Golden. (Boulder, Colorado:
EDUCAUSE, 2006).